英语趣闻与笑话

能满足每个人各种各种需求

1.Anationwide to pedestrians from running red lights has commenced, and the enforcement of the regulations has proven somewhat , the People's Daily quoted Wang Changjun, head of the ministry's research institute on traffic management, as saying on Wednesday. 4月10日，北京市开始重点治理“不看红绿灯，凑够一拨人就走”的“中国式过马路”行为。行人及非机动车的交通违法行为治理正式纳入交通秩序整治工作的重点，通过纠正、教育、批评和处罚等措施治理“中国式过马路”现象。从5月6日开始，北京将正式在全市范围内对“中国式过马路”的行人处以10元罚款。

discourage pedestrians from running red lights 就是劝阻行人闯红灯。

这也针对于“中国式过马路”（ Chinese-style street crossing ），即行人（ pede

篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译)

1、How much English can you speak?

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

中文翻译

"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。"

法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英

1. Being rather bald, I have long been used to comforting myself on a visit to the hairdresser with the opening remark,\ for the response of one barber:\ys say there's no sense in putting a roof on an empty barn.\

2. A colleague told me about the day he went to his high-school

reunion:\ recognize started hugging me, saying how happy he was to see me. When I confessed that I didn't know him, he said,\ know you either,but until you came I was the baldest man here!\3. When Mr. John went out for a walk, it started to rain.

篇一：英文幽默笑话

1.猫和老鼠

——Mrs Brown went to

visit one of her friend and

carried a small box with

holes punched in the top.

——" What's in your

box?" asked the friend.

——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠

这是我在平时的英语学习中见到的自认为经典的英语笑话,他们的语言地道,精炼准确,很适合中小学,高中,大学生自行学习,可背诵,再叙述,熟读等配合学习,希望对大家有所帮助!更多精彩期待中!

吝啬鬼的聚会

[ 2007-09-17 08:12 ]

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?" 结婚付出的代价

A little boy asked his father: Daddy, h

这是我在平时的英语学习中见到的自认为经典的英语笑话,他们的语言地道,精炼准确,很适合中小学,高中,大学生自行学习,可背诵,再叙述,熟读等配合学习,希望对大家有所帮助!更多精彩期待中!

吝啬鬼的聚会

[ 2007-09-17 08:12 ]

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?" 结婚付出的代价

A little boy asked his father: Daddy, h

篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本

搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》

人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。

农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern

mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]

树：I’m a tree!I can do many things

篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本

搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》

人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。

农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern

mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]

树：I’m a tree!I can do many things

篇一：英语幽默小笑话六篇

? 英语幽默小笑话六篇

?

frog 青蛙

Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."

老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。”

人们什么时候说话最少？

Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?

老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?

To

篇一：英语小笑话(带翻译))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。 ” 4.反正我太太明天会来