熊海虹主编《高等学校研究生英语综合教程 - 上》1-10单元原文+翻译（个人整理方便学习）

Unit One

TRAITS OF THE KEY PLAYERS

David G. Jensen

核心员工的特征

大卫·G．詹森

1 What exactly is a key player? A \during just about every search I've conducted. I asked a client - a hiring manager involved in a recent search - to define it for me. \expertise that you can count on to get the job done. On my team of seven process engineer and biologists, I've got two or three whom I just couldn't live without,\essential to my organization. And when we hire your company to recruit for us, we expect that you'll be going into other companies and finding just that: the staff that another manager will not want to see leave. We recruit only key players.\

1核心员工究竟是什么样子的?几乎每次进行调查时，我都会从雇主们那里听到“核心员工”这个名词。我请一位客户——一位正参与研究的人事部经理，给我解释一下。“每家公司都有少数几个这样的员工，在某个专业领域，你可以指望他们把活儿干好。

在我的小组中，有七名化工流程工程师和生物学家，其中有那么两三个人是我赖以生存的，”他说，“他们对我的公司而言不可或缺。当请你们公司替我们招募新人的时候，我们期待你们会去其他公司找这样的人：其他公司经理不想失去的员工。我们只招募核心员工。”

2 This is part of a pep talk intended to send headhunters into competitor's companies to talk to the most experienced staff about making a change. They want to hire a \another company. Every company also hires from the ranks of newbies, and what they're

looking for is exactly the same. \looks like they have these same traits, we'll place a bet on them.\

2这是一段充满了鼓动性的谈话，目的是把猎头们派往竞争对手的公司去游说经验丰富的员工们做一次职业变更。他们想从另一家公司招募核心员工。然而，每家公司也从新人中招人。他们要寻找的是完全一样的东西。“我们把他们和公司顶级员工表现出的特质进行对照。假如他们看起来有同样特征的话，我们就在他们身上赌一把。”只是这样有点儿冒险。

3 \help the hiring manager mitigate that risk. You need to help them identify you as a prospective \

3“这是一种有根据的猜测，”我的人事经理客户说。作为未来的一名员工，你的工作是帮助人事部经理降低这种风险，你需要帮助他们认定你有潜力成为一名核心员工。

4 Trait 1: The selfless collaborator

John Fetzer, career consultant and chemist, first suggested this trait, which has already been written about a great deal. It deserves repeating because it is the single most public difference between academia and industry. \lone-wolf and competitive, so signs of being collaborative and selfless stand out. You just can't succeed in an industry environment without this mindset\4特征1：无私的合作者

职业顾问和化学家约翰·费策尔最早提出了这个特征。关于这个特征，人们已经写了大量的文章。它之所以值得被反复谈及，是因为这一特征是学术界和企业间最明显的差别。“这里需要合作，”费策尔说，“企业的环境并不需要单打独斗，争强好胜，所以表现出合作和无私精神的员工就脱颖而出了。在企业环境中，没有这样的思维方式就不可能成功。” 5 Many peptides and grad students have a tough time showing that they can make this transition because so much of their life has involved playing the independent- researcher role and

outshining other young stars. You can make yourself more attractive to companies by working together with scientists from other laboratories and disciplines in pursuit of a common

goal—and documenting the results on your resume. This approach, combined with a liberal use of the pronoun \company's perception of you from a lone wolf to a selfless collaborator. Better still, develop a reputation inside your lab and with people your lab collaborates with as a person who fosters and initiates collaborations—and make sure this quality gets mentioned by those who will take those reference phone calls.

5许多博士后和研究生在进行这种过渡的过程中表现得相当费力。因为生命中有那么长一段时间他们都在扮演一个独立研究者的角色，并且要表现得比其他年轻的优秀人才更出色。你可以藉此提高在公司的吸引力：为追求一个共同的目标和来自其他实验室和学科的科学家们合作——并且为你的个人履历上的内容提供事迹证明。这个方法，加上你在描述业绩时开明地使用代词“我们”，而不是“我”，能使公司对你的看法从 “单干户”转变成“合作者”。更为有利的是，要在你实验室内部，以及在和你们实验室合作的人们之间，培养一个良好声誉：一个鼓励并发动合作的人——还要保证让那些会接听调查电话的人们谈及你的这个品质。 6 Trait 2: A sense of urgency

Don Haut is a frequent contributor to the aas.sciencecareers. org discussion forum. He is a former scientist who transitioned to industry many years ago and then on to a senior

management position. Haut heads strategy and business development for a division of 3M with more than $2.4 billion in annual revenues. He is among those who value a sense of urgency. 6特征2：紧迫感

唐-豪特是一位给aaas.sciencecareers@org 网站论坛频繁写稿的撰稿人。他之前是一名科学家。许多年前他转向了企业，并一直做到高级管理的职位。他在3M公司一个部门负责策略和商业开发工作，这个部门每年上缴的税收高达24亿多美元。他就是一个重视紧迫感的人。

7 \Haut. \have to mobilize all of the functions that support a business to move quickly, but you have to know how to decide where 'there' is! This creates a requirement not only for people who can act quickly, but for those who can think fast and have the courage to act on their convictions. This requirement needs to run throughout an organization and is not exclusive to management.\

7“一年365天，一周7天，一天24小时，生意始终在进行，那意味着一年365天，一周7天，一天24小时，竞争也同样在进行，”豪特说，“公司取胜的方法之一就是要更快地到达‘目的地’。这就是说，你不仅要把所有能支持公司快速运转的功能都调动起来，而且还得知道如何决定‘目的地’是哪里。这样，不仅对那些行动快速的人们，也对那些思维敏捷，并有勇气按自己的想法行事的人们都提出了要求。这需要全公司各部门的运作，而不仅仅是管理部门的工作。” 8 Trait 3: Risk tolerance

Being OK with risk is something that industry demands. \

demonstrated the ability to make decisions with imperfect or incomplete information. He or she must be able to embrace ambiguity and stick his or her neck out to drive to a conclusion,\one of my clients in a job description. 8特征3：风险容忍度

企业要求员工能承受风险。“一名求职者需要表现出仅凭不准确、不完整的信息就做出决策的能力。他或她必须能接纳不确定因素并冒着风险做出结论，”一位客户在职业描述中写道。

9 Haut agrees. \organizational, and financial. This creates a disconnect for many scientists because success in academia is really more about careful, studied research. Further, great science is often defined by how one gets to the answer as much as by the answer itself, so scientists often fall in love with the process. In a business, you need to understand the process, but you end up falling in love with the answer and then take a risk based on what you think that answer means to your business. Putting your neck on the line like this is a skill set that all employers look for in their best people.\

9豪特赞同这一说法。“商业成功通常有这样一个特质：那就是能接受不确定因素和风险——个人的，组织上的和财务上的。这就让许多科学家感到不适应，因为学术上的成功其实是依靠认真而严谨的研究。更进一步说，伟大的科学常常是由找寻答案的过程和答案本身两者同时来定义的。因此科学家们往往沉迷于过程。在企业里，你需要了解过程，但最终你会迷上答案，然后根据你认为该答案对你的企业所具有的意义来冒风险。像这样敢冒风险是一套技能组合，是所有雇主在他们最好的员工身上所寻找的东西。”

10 Another important piece of risk tolerance is a candidate's degree of comfort with failure. Failure is important because it shows that you were not afraid to take chances. So companies consistently look for candidates who can be wrong and admit it. Everyone knows how to talk about successes—or they should if they're in a job search—but far fewer people are comfortable talking about failures, and fewer still know how to bring lessons and advantages back from the brink. \and he or she needs to have real failures, not something made up for interview day. If not, that person has not taken enough risk.\

10风险容忍度的另外一个要点是求职者对失败的承受度。失败很重要，因为这表示你不怕冒险。所以各家公司总会寻找有可能犯错误并敢于承认错误的求职者。大家都知道如何谈论成功——或者当他们在寻找工作的时候应该知道。但很少有人乐意谈论失败，更少有人知道如何从失败的边缘吸取教训和获得经验。“对我的企业来说，求职者需要坦然地谈论他或她的失败，而且他或她需要有真正的失败经历，而不是特意为面试而杜撰的东西。如果做不到的话，那么这个人冒的风险还不够，”豪特说。 11 Trait 4: Strength in interpersonal relationships

Rick Leach is in business development for deCODE Genetics. Leach made the transition to industry recently, on the business side of things'\new business role, interpersonal abilities make the difference between success and failure.

\\—people skills. The scientist who is transitioning into the business world must prioritize his or her relationship assets above their technical assets. To suddenly be valued and measured by your mastery of human relationships can be a very scary proposition for a person who has been valued and measured only by his mastery of things,\11特征4：善于处理人际关系

瑞克·李奇在迪科德遗传工程公司从事业务拓展。李奇最近才转行到企业，做业务方面的工作。我向他咨询这个重要特征，是因为在他的新业务角色中，人际沟通能力在成功和失败之间发挥着很大的作用。“科学家毕生都在积累知识，培养技术上的敏锐感，”他说，“但为企业工作需要完全不同的东西——人际交往的能力。想转行到企业界的科学家们必须优先考虑他们的社会关系资源而不是技术资源。对一个以前一直根据专业知识水平被评价的人来说，突然之间要根据他的人际交往能力来评价他，真是十分令人恐惧。” 12 It would be a mistake, however, to assume that strong people skills are required only for business people like Leach. Indeed, the key players I've met who work at the bench in industry have succeeded in great measure because they've been able to work with a broad variety of personalities, up and down the organization.

12然而，如果认为只有像李奇那样的生意人才需要熟练的人际沟通技巧，那就错了。事实上，我所遇见的在企业工作的核心费工们之所以取得成功，很大程度上是因为他们能够与公司上下各种各样的人共事。

Unit Two

CULINARY DELIGHTS IN CHINA

中餐被公认为全球最佳美食之一，其种类之丰富，工艺之繁复，使其理所当然地成为游客大快朵颐的乐事之一。

中国美食

1 Chinese cuisine is a brilliant facet of Chinese culture, which is proven by the fact that Chinese restaurants are found scattered everywhere throughout the world. Today, the culinary industry is developing even more rapidly than before. A decade ago, Beijing had a few thousand restaurants, while today there are over 100,000 restaurants of different sizes in the city.

1中国美食是中国文化一道绚烂的风景线，这点从世界各地随处可见的中餐馆可以窥见。当今，烹饪业正以前所未有的速度在发展。10年前，北京只有几千家餐馆，而今天却有10万多家大小不等的餐馆遍布市内。 2 Regional Chinese Cuisines

It is widely acknowledged that from the Ming (1368-1644) dynasties onwards, there are eight major schools of Chinese based op regional cooking. They came from Shandong, Sichuan, Guangdong, Fujian, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hunan, and Anhui provinces. In addition to these

traditional cuisines, the culinary industry in China has undergone great changes, as almost every place has its own local specialties, and as the different cuisines gather together in big cities, such as Beijing. 2地方美食

众所周知，明朝以来出现了八大菜系，分别是山东菜、四川菜、广东菜、福建菜、江苏菜、浙江菜、湖南菜和安徽菜。除了这些传统菜系，中国的烹饪业也经历了巨大的变化：每个地方都形成了自己的特色菜，不同菜系汇集于诸如北京这样的大城市。

3 Sichuan, known as Nature's Storehouse, is also a storehouse of cuisine. Here, each and every restaurant provides delicious yet economical culinary fare. The ingredients for Sichuan cuisine are simple but the spices used are quite different. Sichuan cuisine is famous for its spicy and hot food, yet just being hot and spicy does not necessarily , distinguish it from other hot and spicy cuisines such as Hunan or Guizhou cuisines.

What is really special about Sichuan cuisine is the use of Chinese prickly ash seeds, the taste of which leaves a feeling of numbness on one's tongue and mouth. Besides this unique spice, Sichuan dishes are usually prepared with other spices such as chili pepper. Using fermented bean sauce and a set of unique cooking methods. Sichuan cuisine is now famous and popular across the world. In recent years, there have appeared many more renowned restaurants specializing in Sichuan cuisine, such as the Tan Family Fish Head restaurant.

3被誉为“天府之国”的四川也是个美食之都。在那里的任何一家餐馆都能找到既可口又经济实惠的美食。川菜的原料虽简单，但调料却大有讲究。川菜以口味辣著称，但仅是口味辣还不能使川菜区别于其他辣口味的菜系，比如湖南菜和贵州菜。川菜的特别之处在于花椒的使用。尝过花椒之后，人们的舌头和嘴巴会留下酥麻的感觉。除了花椒之外，川菜还常用辣椒粉之类的调料。因使用豆豉作配料，再加上一套独特的烹饪方式，如今川菜在全世界都十分有名和受欢迎。近几年涌现了一大批著名的专做川菜的餐馆，比如谭鱼头。

4 The only sour note in all the songs of joy over this phenomenon has come from some parents and conservative religious leaders who say Rowling advocates witchcraft. reading of the books has been challenged in 25 school districts in at least 17 states, and the books have been banned in schools in Kansas and Colorado. But that's nothing new, says Michael Patrick Hearn, a children's book scholar and editor of The Annotated Wizard, of Oz. \considered evil by some people,\in the mid-1980s.\

4在对“哈利波特”现象的一路欢歌中，出现的唯一一个不和谐音符来自干一些父母和保守的宗教领袖。他们认为罗琳在宣扬巫术。至少在17个州的25所学校校区内，阅读《哈利波特》受到了质疑，而在堪萨斯州和科罗拉多州的学校里，《哈利波特》系列丛书则被明令禁止。但是作为儿童图书专家和《绿野仙踪》的编辑，迈克尔·帕特里克·赫恩觉得这并不奇怪。“无论何种魔法都会被有些人视为邪恶，”他说，“《绿野仙踪》就曾经在80年代中期遭到正统派基督教徒们的抨击。”

5 But perhaps the most curious thing about the Potter phenomenon, especially given that it is all about books, is that almost no one has taken the time to say how good— or bad—these books are. The other day my 11-year-old daughter asked me if I thought Harry Potter was a classic. I gave her, I'm afraid, one of those adult-sounding answers when I said, \not an outright lie. There's no telling which books will survive from one generation to the next. But the fact is, I was hedging. What my daughter really wanted to know was how well J. K. Rowling stacks up against the likes of Robert Louis Stevenson or Madeleine L'Engle.

5但是对于“哈利波特”现象最让人感到好奇的事情可能是几乎没有人会花时间去讨论这些书有多好或者多糟，尤其是当这些评论仅仅涉及书本身的时候。有一天，11岁的女儿问我是否认为《哈利波特》是经典之作，我给出了一个恐怕听起来十分成人化的回答，“时间会证明一切的。”这不能算是一个彻头彻尾的谎言，因为谁也没有办法预测有哪一本书能够代代相传。但事实上，我在闪烁其词。我女儿真正想知道的是：与罗伯特·路易斯·史蒂文森和马德琳·英格这一类人相比较，罗琳到底有多棒。

6 I could have told her that I thought they were beautifully crafted works of entertainment, the literary equivalent of Steven Spielberg. I could also have told her I thought the Potter books were derivative. They share so many elements with so many children's classics that sometimes it seems as though Rowling had assembled her novels from a kit. However, these novels amount to, much more than just the sum of their parts. The crucial aspect of their appeal is that they can be read by children and adults with equal pleasure. Only the best authors—and they can be as different as Dr. Seuss and Philip Pullman\—can pull that off.

6我本可以告诉她我认为这些书是精心构思的通俗作品，是堪比史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格之电影的文学作品。本来我还可以告诉她我认为《哈利波特》系列丛书没有什么新意，它们与众多儿童经典作品有太多相似之处，所以有时候会给读者一种感觉，仿佛罗琳组装编织了这些故事。但是，这些故事绝对不仅仅是各个部分的简单相加。它们如此受欢迎的关键之处就在于无论是大人还是小孩都能够从阅读中获得乐趣。只有最好的作家——他们能够与苏斯博士和菲利普·普尔曼，当然还有罗琳一样与众不同——才能够做到这一点。

7 P. L. Travers, the author of the Mary Poppins books, put it best when she wrote, \chop off a section of your imaginative substance and make a book specifically for children, for—if you are honest— you have, in fact, no idea where childhood ends and maturity begins. It is all endless and all one. There is plenty for children and adults to enjoy in Rowling's books, starting with their language. Her prose may be unadorned, but her way with naming people and things reveals a quirky and original talent.

7《(欢乐满人间》的作者帕梅拉·林登·特拉弗斯概括得精辟至极。她写到，“你不能把你想象的东西砍掉一部分然后写成一本专给孩子看的书，坦白地说，因为事实上你根本无从知道童年究竟是什么时候结束，而成人期又是什么时候开始的。它们相互连接、浑然一体。”在罗琳的书中，从语言开始，就有足够多的让大人和孩子都喜欢的东西。也许她文风朴实，但是她给人和物取名的方式显示了独特的原创才能。

8 The best writers remember what it is like to be a child with astonishing intensity. Time and again, Rowling articulates just how defenseless even the bravest children often feel. Near the end of the second book Dumbledore, the wise and protective headmaster, is banished from Hogwarts. This terrifies Harry and his schoolmates—\as never before\—and it terrified me. And in all of Rowling's books there runs an undercurrent of sadness and loss. In the first book the orphaned Harry stares into the Mirror of Erised, which shows the viewer his or her utmost desires. Harry sees his dead parents. \what I'd written did I realize that that had been taken entirely- entirely- from how I felt about my mother's death,\say, is one of the central themes in all seven books.\intellectualism? Consciously, perhaps not. But I don't think the books would have their broad appeal if they were only exciting tales of magical adventure, and I know adults would not find them so enticing.

8优秀作家关注孩子特点的能力达到惊人的程度。罗琳不只一次地清楚表达出，即便是最勇敢的孩子也经常会表现得那么无助。在《哈利波特》(二)中，当那位智慧的、对学生呵护有加的魔法学校校长邓布利多被驱逐出霍格华兹时，哈利和他的同学们都感到恐惧万分。“邓布利多走了，前所未有的恐惧蔓延开来。”而这也让我很害怕。在罗琳所有的书中都流淌着一种潜在的伤感与迷失。在《哈利波特》(一)中，变成孤儿的哈利盯着那面能够说出每个人内心深处愿望的厄里斯魔镜看，他看见了逝去的双亲。“直到我自己重读我写过的东西，我才意识到这个情节完完全全——完完全全地——来自于我对于母亲去世的感觉，”罗琳说，“事实上，我可以说，死亡、丧亲之痛以及死亡意味着什么是所有这七册书的中心主题之一。”而年轻的读者们能够领会这一份深刻的理性吗?也许不能自觉地做到这一点吧。但是我认为，如果这些书只是一些有关魔幻之旅的有趣的故事，那么它们就不可能有这么广泛的吸引力。而且我知道，那样的话成人就不会被它吸引。

9 The Harry Potter books aren't perfect. What I miss most in these novels is the presence of a great villain. And by great villain I mean an interesting villain. Long. John Silver is doubly

frightening because he is both evil and charming. If he were all Bad, he wouldn't frighten us half as much. Voldemort is resistible precisely because he is just bad to the bone. That said, I should add that in the new book Rowling outdoes herself with a bad guy so seductive you'll never see him coming. And he is scary.

9《哈利波特》系列丛书不尽完美。在这些丛书中我最想看到的是一个绝妙的反面角色。我这里说的“绝妙的反面角色”是指“有趣的反面角色”。因为高个子约翰·希尔弗既邪恶又迷人，所以他才让人更觉害怕。如果他仅仅只是坏的话，他带给我们的恐怖感会减少一大半。伏地魔王让人抗拒就是因为他仅仅只是一个十足的坏蛋。这么一说，我想在罗琳超越自己的这本新书中加上这样一个反面角色。这个角色是如此的有魅力，你是永远也见不到的，而且他相当令人恐惧。

10 That quibble aside, Rowling’s novels are probably the best books children have ever encountered that haven't been thrust upon them by an adult. I envy kids reading these books, because there was nothing this good when I was a boy-nothing this good, I mean, that we found on our own, the way kids are finding Harry. We affectionately remember The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew, but try rereading them and their charm fades away pretty quickly. Rowling may not be as magisterial as Tolkien or as quirky as Dahl, but her books introduce fledgling readers to a very high standard of entertainment. With three books left to go in the series, it's too early to pass final judgment. But considering what we've seen so far, especially in the latest volume, Harry Potter has all the earmarks of a classic. 10除了这些吹毛求疵的意见，罗琳的书可能是孩子们所接触到的最好的书，而且阅读这些书也不是家长强加的任务。我羡慕那些阅读这些书的孩子，因为在我还是个孩子的时候，可没有这么好的东西——我的意思是说，我们没有通过自己去发现有这么好的东西，不像现在的孩子，他们找到了哈利。我们深深地记着哈迪男孩和南茜·朱尔，但是当我们尝试着重新阅读这些角色的时候，他们的魅力很快就散去了。罗琳的书也许不如托尔金的书那么具有权威性，也不如达尔的作品那般跌宕起伏，但是她的书将涉世未深的读者带入了一个相当高的娱乐水准。(《哈利波特》系列丛书还有三册尚未出版，现在下定论还为时尚早。但是，就目前我们看到的情况来看，特别是在最后一册，《哈利波特》具备了经典作品的所有特征。

Unit Four

The following text is extracted from Marriages and Families by Nijole V. Benokraitis.

The book has been used as a textbook for sociology courses and women's studies in a number of universities in the United States. It highlights important contemporary changes in society and the family and explores the choices that are available to family members, as well as the constraints that many of us do not recognize. It examines the diversity of American families today, using cross-cultural and multicultural comparisons to encourage creative thinking about the many critical issues that confront the family of the twenty-first century.

下面的文章选自奈杰尔贝诺克瑞提斯的婚姻与家庭。此书在美国的一些大学里被用作社会学和妇女研究等课程的教材，它强调了在当代社会和家庭中所发生的重要变化，探索了家庭成员所面临的选择，以及我们很多人都还未意识到的种种约束。该书还审视了当今美国家庭的多样性，运用跨文化和多元文化的比较，以激发创造性思维来研究21世纪家庭所面临的许多严峻问题。

LOVE AND LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

Nijole V. Benokraitis

爱和情感连系

奈杰尔·贝诺克瑞提斯

1 Love- as both an emotion and a behavior- is essential for human survival- The family is usually our earliest and most important source of love and emotional support. Babies and

children deprived of love have been known to develop a wide variety of problems- for example, depression, headaches, physiological impairments, and neurotic and psychosomatic difficulties- that sometimes last a lifetime. In contrast, infants who are loved and cuddled typically gain more weight, cry less, and smile more. By five years of age, they have been found to have significantly higher IQs and to score higher on language tests.

1爱，对于人类的生存是不可或缺的。它既是一种情感，又是一种行为。家庭通常是我们最早和最重要的爱和情感支持的来源。众所周知，缺乏爱的婴幼儿会产生各种各样的问题，如抑郁症、头痛、生理残疾、神经质或身心疾病，这些病有时会伴随他们一生。而对比之下，拥有爱和拥抱的婴儿通常体重增加得快，哭得少，而笑得多。到了五岁时，他们的智商和语言测试的分数明显比前一类儿童高得多。

2 Much research shows that the quality of care infants receive affects how they later get along with friends, how well they do in school, how they react to new and possibly stressful situations, and how they form and maintain loving relationships as adults. It is for these reasons that

people's early intimate relationships within their family of origin1 are so critical. Children who are raised in impersonal environments (orphanage, some foster homes, or unloving families) show emotional and social underdevelopment, language and motor skills retardation, and mental health problems.

2很多研究发现婴儿获得关爱的质量会影响到他们以后的交友，在学校的表现，如何应对陌生的或可能充满压力的情况，以及他们成年后如何建立并且维系情感连系。正是因为这些原因，人们与家庭成员的早期亲密关系才如此至关重要。在人情冷漠的环境中(如孤儿院，某些寄养家庭，或缺乏关爱的家庭)长大的孩子会出现情感和社会性发育不良，语言和运动技能迟缓，以及精神健康问题。

3 Love for oneself, or self-love, is also essential for our social and emotional development. Actress Mae West once said, \such a statement may seem self-centered, it's actually quite insightful Social scientists describe self-love as an important oasis for self- esteem. Among other things, people who like themselves are more open to criticism and less demanding of others. Fromm (1956) saw self-love as a necessary prerequisite for loving others. People who don't like themselves may not be able to return love but may constancy seek love relationships to bolster their own poor self-images. But just what is love? What brings people together?

3对自己的爱，或者说自爱，对我们的社会性和情感发展也是至关重要的。女演员梅·韦斯特曾说过，“我从没有像爱自己那样爱过别人。”虽然这样的话听起来似乎有些以自我为中心，实际上却是相当有见地。社会学家将自爱描述为自尊的一个重要基础。从别的方面来说，自我喜欢的人更乐于接受批评，对别人的要求也不那么苛刻。弗罗姆(1956)认为自爱是爱别人的先决条件。不喜欢自己的人也许不懂得回报爱，而却有可能不停地寻找爱的关系来改变卑微的自我形象。那么到底什么是爱?是什么让人们走到一起?

4 Love is an elusive concept. We have all experienced love and feel we know what it is; however, when asked what love is, people give a variety of answers. According to a nine- year-old boy, for example, \What we mean by love depends on whether we are talking about love for family members, friends, or lovers. Love has been a source of inspiration, wry witticisms, and even political action for many centuries.

4爱是一个难以描述的概念。我们都经历过爱，觉得我们知道爱是什么，然而当被问到什么是爱时，人们给出的答案却不尽相同，比如一个九岁的男孩说，“爱像雪崩，你必须快跑才能活命。”爱对我们来说意味着什么，这取决于我们所指的是家人之间、朋友之间还是恋人之间的爱。几百年来爱都是灵感、俏皮的揶揄、甚至是政治活动的来源。

5 Love has many dimensions. It can be romantic, exciting, obsessive, and irrational- It can also be platonic, calming, altruistic, and sensible? Many researchers feel that love defies a single definition because it varies in degree and intensity and across social contexts. At the very least, three elements are necessary for a loving

relationship: (1) a willingness to please and accommodate the other person, even if this involves compromise and sacrifice; (2) an acceptance of the other person's faults and shortcomings; and (3) as much concern about the loved one's welfare as one's own. And, people who say they are \

5爱有很多层面，它可能是浪漫的，令人激动的，让人着迷的，或者是非理性的。它也可能是柏拉图式的，令人平静的，无私的，或者理智的。许多研究者觉得爱没有一个唯一的定义，它有程度和强度之分，并且跨越了社会背景。拥有恋爱关系至少需要具备三个元素：1)愿意取悦和迁就另一方，即使需要妥协或牺牲；2)能接受另一方的错误和缺点；3)关心爱人的幸福像关心自己一样。而且，说自己“处于恋爱中”的人们重视相互之间的关心、亲密和忠诚。

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