学术论文写作课后

Lecture 1

1.3

1（1）We can improve its performance when we use super-heated steam.

An improvement of its performance can be affected by the use of super-heated steam （2）If we add or remove heat, the state of matter may change. The addition or removal of heat may change the state of matter.

2 (1) You clearly can see the difference between the treated and untreated specimens. The difference between the treated and untreated specimens can be clearly seen

(2) Effective vaccines present such hazards, but only if a social organization could make sure that all potential mothers are vaccinated in good time.

Effective vaccines present such hazards, but only if a social organization could ensure that all potential mothers are vaccinated in good time.

3. Study this paragraph and underline any examples of poor style.

How to make people work harder is a topic that lots of people have written about in the last few years. There are lots of different theories etc and I think some of them are ok. When we think about this we should remember the old Chinese proverb, that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. So how do we increase production? It’s quite a complex subject but I’ll just talk about a couple of ideas.

Motivation has been the subject of numerous studies during recent decades, but this essay will focus on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory (1943) and Herzberg’s two-factor theory (1966). Their contemporary relevance to the need to motivate employees effectively will be examined critically, given that this can be considered crucial to a firm’s survival in the current economic climate.

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Lecture 2

2.5 Reflections and Practice （Exercise）

1. Please comment on the following titles or keywords and revise them if necessary.（改错题） (1) A Research on the Artificial Neural Network (ANN) Applied in the Analysis of Structural Mechanics

Key: Application of the Artificial Neural Network (ANN) in the Analysis of Structural Mechanics

(2) Developing Computer Internet and Spread of Culture and Information

Key: Developing Computer Internet and Spreading of Culture and Information (3) Studies on Monoclonal Antibodies in Nuclear Medicine Key: Monoclonal Antibodies in Nuclear Medicine

(4) An Investigation of Mechanisms of Retinal Damage from Chronic Laser Radiation Key: Mechanisms of Retinal Damage：Chronic Laser Radiation (5) Toward Commercialization of the Natural Gas Vehicles Key: Commercialization of the Natural Gas Vehicles

(6) Can the Rate of Wash Load Be Predicted from the Bed Load Function? Key: Prediction of Wash Load Ratefrom the Bed Load Function? (7) Phase Equilibria between Fluorothene and Orange (a good title) (8)On Learning Foreign Languages and Cultural Background Teaching Key: Foreign Languages Learning and Cultural Background Teaching (9)Keywords: English, Vocabulary, Tendency (10)Keywords: Collocation Context Connotation

Key: Keywords: Collocation Context Connotation （单词间隔要大点) (Using larger space between words)

2. The following title, affiliation, and are abridged from a journal article. Please list the

keywords for the paper based on the title and abstract.(关键词) EEG and ECG assessment of mental fatigue in a driving similar Ding Xiaoguang1 Du Zhenzi 2 1.***University, Xi’an 710049, China 2. *** University, Xi’an 710049, China Abstract: Driving mental fatigue, which is a contributing factor to some serious transportation crashes, is measured by Electroencephalogram(EEG)(脑电图) and Electrocardiograph (ECG)（心电图）in this study. Altogether, the ECG and multi-channel EEG of thirteen healthy subjects were recorded while they were performing a continuous simulated driving task for 90 minutes. The study investigated several important physiological parameters of the preprocessed ECG and EEG signals. The results shows that the possible indices(指标) for measuring simulated driving mental fatigue are significantly different before and after performing the driving task (P＜0.05), involving the EEG alpha and beta, the relative power, the amplitude（幅度） of p300, the approximated entropy of ECG, the low and high bands power of heart rate variability (HRV). Keywords: EEG; ECG; P300; HRV; driving mental fatigue

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3. Combine each of the groups of sentences below into a sound sentence containing one

absolute.（合成句子，两句合一句） (1) Air resistance is neglected.

The acceleration of gravity continually increases as the body approaches the earth.

(答案：The acceleration of gravity continually increases as the body approaches the earth, air resistance being neglected. )

(2) Almost all metals are good conductors. Silver is the best.

(答案：Almost all metals are good conductors, silver being the best.)

(3) In Group 1, we have hydrogen and the alkali(碱) metals. All of them have low density.

(答案：In Group 1, we have hydrogen and the alkali metals, all of low density.)

(4) There are many reasons for this.

One of the reasons is that simulation allows the assessment of the potential performance before a newly designed system is operable.

(答案：There are many reasons for this, among them the fact that simulation allows the assessment of the potential performance before a newly designed system is operable.)

(5) Laser’s creation is thought to be one of today’s wonders.

Laser’s nothing more than a light that differs from ordinary lights.

(答案：Laser, its creation being thought to be one of today’s wonders, is nothing more than a light that differs from ordinary lights.)

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Lecture 3

3.6 Reflections and practice

1. Here is an abstract of a paper in the journal of Energy Sources. Read it through looking for the main function of each sentence.（段落大意，也可以做为摘要排序题）

Experimental Study of the Performance of Solar Dryers with Pebble Beds

1.Major problems of the arid(干旱) region are transportation of agricultural products and loses due to spoilage of the products, especially in summer. 2. This work presents the performance of a solar drying system consisting of an air heater and a dryer chamber connected to a greenhouse. 3. The drying system is designed to dry a variety of agricultural products. 4. The effect of air mass flow rate on the drying process is studied. 5. Composite pebbles（卵石）, which are constructed from cement and sand, are used to store energy for night operation. 6. The pebbles are placed at the bottom of the drying chamber and are charged during the drying process itself. 7. A separate test is done using a simulator（模拟器）, a packed bed storage unit, to find the thermal characteristics of the pebbles during charging and discharging modes with time. 8. Accordingly, the packed bed is analysed using a heat transfer model with finite difference technique described before and during the charging and discharging process. 9. Graphs are presented that depict the thermal characteristics and performance of the pebble beds and the drying patterns of different agricultural products. 10. The results show that the amount of energy stored in the pebbles depends on the air mass flow rate, the inlet air temperature, and the properties of the storage materials. 11. The composite pebbles can be used efficiently as storing media. (Sentence1: background information; Sentence 2-4: purpose Sentence5-8: methodology Sentence9-10: results Sentence 11: conclusion)

2. Each of the following sentences is taken from an abstract of a paper entitled “Commonly Encountered Errors on Abstract Submissions”. Indicate the probable order used by the author in writing the abstract in the space below. （摘要排序题） (1)__c__ (2) ___d___ (3) __b__ (4) __e___ (5) __a__ a. It is essential for prospective presents to follow published recommendations to ensure that their abstracts conform to conference guidelines.

b. This single-blinded study utilized a convenience sample of 20 reviewers who were selected to complete a survey about commonly encountered errors on abstract review forms while evaluating abstracts submitted to a national dental hygiene research conference. The reviewers evaluated 80 submitted abstracts prior to completing the survey. The instrument used in the study contained 30 items with closed-ended responses which was previously pilot-tested with 5 other reviewers to establish content validity. Survey information was obtained through the use of an electronic online tool, and all responses remained confidential. Descriptive statistics were used to analyse the data. IRB approval was obtained from the USC School of Dentistry.

c. Prospective presents for research meetings often submit abstracts that do not conform with

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published guidelines. It is important for researchers to know how to correctly prepare and submit an abstract.

d. The purpose of this study was to assess the types of errors encountered by dental hygiene reviewers who evaluated submitted abstracts for a national dental hygiene research conference. e. Failure to include all of the required elements was the most commonly reported error on submitted abstracts to a national dental hygiene research conference (35%). Other errors included typographical errors (23%), lack of information about statistical methods (20%), spacing errors (7%), and failure to include affiliation (3%).

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Lecture 4

4.4.2 The list of Works Cited in MLA

(1) Type the heading Works Cited on top of a separate page, neither underlined, nor italicized or in quotation marks.

(2) All the entities in the reference list are arranged according to the alphabetical order of the surname of the author without the use of any Arabic numbers before each entity. If the author of a source is unknown, alphabetize the source by the first major word of the title.

(3) Each entity in the list begins at the very beginning of the line without any space. If you cannot finish within one line, you should continue into the second line. The second line begins with five spaces indented to serve the purpose of giving the prominent place of the author.

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Lecture 5 Paraphrasing and Summarizing

5.4 Reflections and Practice

1. The paraphrase below provide an example by showing a passage as it appears in the source, several paraphrases that follow the source too closely, and a legitimate paraphrase. Please point out the legitimate one and the word-by-word plagiarism ones, and explain the reason. (paraphrase释义，改写)

[Original Source] (A totalitarian) society…can never permit either the truthful recording of facts, or the emotional sincerity, that literary creation demands….Totalitarianism demands… the continuous alteration of the past, and in the long run…a disbelief in the very existence of objective truth. (written by George Orwell)

[Version A] A totalitarian society can never permit the truthful recording of facts; it demands the continuous alteration of the past, and a disbelief in the very existence of objective truth.

[Version B] A totalitarian society can’t be open-minded or allow the truthful recording of facts, but instead demands the constant changing of the past and a distrust of the very existence of objective truth.

[Version C] Orwell believed that totalitarian societies must suppress literature and free expression because they cannot survive the truth, and thus they claim it does not exist.

[Version D] In his biography of George Orwell, Gordon Bowker discusses the themes of 1984, quoting a 1946 essay by Orwell: “Totalitarianism demands… the continuous alteration of the past, and in the long run… a disbelief in the very existence of objective truth.” ( Bowker p.337, quoting Orwell,1946) [Key]

[Version A] plagiarism

[Version B] Improper paraphrase, plagiarism [Version C] appropriate paraphrase [Version D] not plagiarism

2. Paraphrase the following sentences. (paraphrase释义，改写)

(1) Deep waters that were once off limits to oil explores are suddenly accessible, partly because of advances in floating rigs.

以前开发不了的深海海域现在也能够涉足，部分原因是由于浮式钻机技术的进步。 [Key]

a. Deep water exploring oil had once been impossible before, but now it becomes practicable in part because the floating rigs have developed much.

(2) A liver cell has a different job from a blood cell and proteins to match. 肝细胞与血液细胞分工不同，而且与之匹配的蛋白质也不同。

[Key]A liver cell plays a different role compared with a blood cell and the proteins inside a liver cell are different from those inside a blood cell.

(3) This suggests that there is a great deal of plasticity in the growing embryo that still allows it to develop successfully even when a significant proportion of its genes are malfunctioning. 这表明胚胎在生长发育过程中有较大的可塑性，即使大部分基因发生突变，仍能成功发育。 [Key]

It can be concluded from the cloning studies that the growing embryo bears a lot of plasticity

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which enables it to develop successfully even under the condition that there are a great proportion of malfunctioning genes.

3. Directions: Write a paraphrase of each of the following passages. Try not to look back at the original passage. (paraphrase释义，改写)

(1). \and it exerts tremendous control on our climate,\ocean water around Antarctica flows north to mix with warmer water from the tropics, and its upwellings help to cool both the surface water and our atmosphere. Yet the fragility of this regulating system is now threatened by human activity.\ From \

(2). The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.

(3) Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head.

From \

(4). Matisse is the best painter ever at putting the viewer at the scene. He's the most realistic of all modern artists, if you admit the feel of the breeze as necessary to a landscape and the smell of oranges as essential to a still life. \Aassa, which pierces the southern wall of the city near the sultan's palace. With scrubby coats of ivory, aqua, blue, and rose delicately fenced by the liveliest gray outline in art history, Matisse gets the essence of a Tangier afternoon, including the subtle presence of the bowaab, the sentry who sits and surveys those who pass through the gate.

From Peter Plagens, \

(5). While the Sears Tower is arguably the greatest achievement in skyscraper engineering so far, it's unlikely that architects and engineers have abandoned the quest for the world's tallest building. The question is: Just how high can a building go? Structural engineer William LeMessurier has designed a skyscraper nearly one-half mile high, twice as tall as the Sears Tower. And architect Robert Sobel claims that existing technology could produce a 500-story building.

From Ron Bachman, \Here are sample answers for the paraphrasing exercise:

(1).According to Jacques Cousteau, the activity of people in Antarctica is jeopardizing a delicate natural mechanism that controls the earth's climate. He fears that human activity could interfere with the balance between the sun, the source of the earth's heat, and the important source of cold from Antarctic waters that flow north and cool the oceans and atmosphere (\Cousteau\

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(2). During the twenties lawlessness and social nonconformity prevailed. In cities organized crime flourished without police interference, and in spite of nationwide prohibition of liquor sales, anyone who wished to buy a drink knew where to get one. Musicians like Louis Armstrong become favorites, particularly among young people, as many turned away from highly respectable classical music to jazz. One of the best examples of the anti-traditional trend was the proliferation of young \hair and shortening their skirts (Yancey 25).

(3). The use of a helmet is the key to reducing bicycling fatalities, which are due to head injuries 75% of the time. By cushioning the head upon impact, a helmet can reduce accidental injury by as much as 85%, saving the lives of hundreds of victims annually, half of whom are school children (\

(4). Matisse paintings are remarkable in giving the viewer the distinct sensory impressions of one experiencing the scene first hand. For instance, \of Tangier and the Bab el Aassa gateway near the Sultan's palace, where one can imagine standing on an afternoon, absorbing the splash of colors and the fine outlines. Even the sentry, the bowaab vaguely eyeing those who come and go through the gate, blends into the scene as though real (Plagens 50).

(5). How much higher skyscrapers of the future will rise than the present world marvel, the Sears Tower, is unknown. However, the design of one twice as tall is already on the boards, and an architect, Robert Sobel, thinks we currently have sufficient know-how to build a skyscraper with over 500 stories (Bachman 15).

4. Write a summary for the following passage. （summary综述）

Academic Honesty Policy

Gallaudet University students are expected to represent themselves honestly at all times and in all contact with University faculty, administration, and staff. Misrepresentation on University documents, course assignments, or examinations is in conflict with the spirit and teachings of a university. All students are expected to learn and abide by the rules and regulations of Gallaudet University, to provide full and accurate information on University documents, and to acquaint themselves fully with proper procedures for doing research, writing papers, and taking examinations. If a student knowingly provides false information or forges or conceals relevant information on admissions, registration, or any other University document, the student's registration may be canceled. If such a discovery is made after a student is officially enrolled in the University, that student may be dismissed from the University. A professor who discovers that a student is involved in unethical practices in connection with required coursework or examinations has full discretion to give a failing grade for the particular assignment, a failing grade for the course, and/ or recommend dismissal. Dismissal actions for academic dishonesty will be made by the Provost. Students dismissed for academic dishonesty will be ineligible to return to the University, except by special action of the Committee on Faculty and Student Affairs. [Key]

Sample of a summary from the \ Gallaudet University's \Honesty Policy\states that students need to be honest

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when filling out forms, taking tests, and doing writing assignments. If students are not honest, they can be severely punished. For example, if a student lies on an official form, like an application, the student can be dismissed from the university. Also, if a teacher finds that a student cheated on a test or a paper the teacher can grade the student's test or paper with an \ The teacher can also flunk the student for the whole course, or the teacher can ask the Provost to kick the student out of school for academic dishonesty. The Provost decides if a student should be dismissed or not

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Lecture 6

讲义例子：

(1) 【Awkward】 In the paper, a SZG4031 towing tractor is used as the sample vehicle, it components equivalent physical parameters are obtained by UG design and testing.

【Correct】 In this study, a SZG4031 towing tractor is used as the sample vehicle, it components equivalent physical parameters are obtained by UG design and testing.

(2) 【Incorrect】 Equation 2-6 can be respectively linearized as:…(equations given)… 【Correct】 Equations 2-6 can be linearized as… (equations given)…, respectively.

(3) 【Incorrect】 Then, the rows of vortex due to both of the long and short blades are transformed into two singularities on the plane and integrate the induced velocity along the blades respectively.

【Correct】 Then, the rows of vortex due to both of the long and short blades are transformed into two singularities on the plane and integrate the induced velocity along the blades. (4) 【Incorrect】 The dynamic characteristics of a rotor with asymmetric stiffness or with initial warp have been studied before respectively [1-4].

【Correct】 The dynamic characteristics of a rotor with asymmetric stiffness or with initial warp have been studied before [1-4].

(5) 【Incorrect】 The inlet and outlet temperature of the air cooler were measured using two thermocouples respectively.

【Correct】 The inlet and outlet temperature of the air cooler were measured by using two thermocouples.

(6) 【Incorrect】Studies of methodology and process of implementing remanufacturing mainly focus on durable products such as automobile motors, printers, and etc.

【Correct】 Studies of methodology and process of implementing remanufacturing mainly focus on durable products such as automobile motors, and printers. (7) 【Incorrect】Compared to traditional industry, Micro-electronic fabrication has three characteristics such as high complexity, high precision and high automation.

【Correct】 Compared to traditional industry, Micro-electronic fabrication has three characteristics: high complexity, high precision and high automation. (8) Many scientists have studied PHB, mostly because of its potential use as a biodegradable plastic.

(9) The potential use of PHB as a biodegradable plastic has prompted numerous studies of its physical properties and its production and purification. [1, 2, 3, 4]

(10) 【Incorrect】 Figure 2 shows the distribution of relative velocity on surface of main and splitter blades.

【Correct】 Figure 2 shows the distribution of relative velocity on the surface of main and splitter blades.

(11) 【Incorrect】 The voltage induced in the primary winding is proportional to the primary inductance according to the Faraday’s law.

【Correct】 The voltage induced in the primary winding is proportional to the primary inductance according to Faraday’s law.

(12) 【Incorrect】 Aluminum is not as a good conductor as copper.

【Correct】 Aluminum is not as good a conductor as copper.

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(13) 【Incorrect】 The software PowerSHAPE is chosen to be a 3D modeling tool; it is good at dealing with free surfaces and curves.

【Correct】 The software PowerSHAPE is chosen to be the 3D modeling tool; it is good at dealing with free surfaces and curves.

(软件PowerSHAPE经常被用来作3D建模工具；它擅长处理游离面和曲线 (在他的研究中只用了这一种3D建模工具，所以3D建模工具是特指，要用定冠词the)

(14) 【Incorrect】The academy is in charge of developing satellite technology and making space research.

【Correct】The academy is in charge of developing satellite technology and conducting space research.

(15) 【Incorrect】Since these reasons, it has become desirable for a computer to separate the text from images.

【Incorrect】For these reasons, it has become desirable for a computer to separate the text from images.

(14) 【Incorrect】 Purdue offers many majors in engineering. Such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.

【Correct】 Purdue offers many majors in engineering, such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.

Some fragments are clearly not pieces of sentences that have been left unattached to the main clause; they are written as main clauses but lack a subject or main verb.

(15) 【Incorrect】 With the ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.

【Correct】 The ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.

(16) 【Incorrect】 By paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader unwilling to propose innovative policies.

【Correct】 Paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader unwilling to propose innovative policies.

(17) 【Incorrect】 My first-year philosophy professor was informative, lively, and a source of inspiration.

【Correct】 My first-year philosophy professor was informative, lively, and inspiring. (18) 【Incorrect】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then its generation (产生) is described.

【Correct】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then describes its generation. (19) 【Incorrect】 My philosophy professor not only demonstrated how to reason persuasively but also how to avoid logical fallacies.

【Correct】 My philosophy professor demonstrated not only how to reason persuasively but also how to avoid logical fallacies. (20)【Incorrect】He warned me to revise my essay and that I should pay close attention to parallel structures.

【Correct】He warned me to revise my essay and to pay close attention to parallel structures. (21) The sodium hydroxide (氢氧化钠) was dissolved in water. This solution(溶解) was then titrated(用滴定法测量) with hydrochloric acid（盐酸）.

(22) Figure 1 illustrates the quadratic relationship between distance and velocity. (23) Experimental evidence shows that the typical dose-response curve has an inverted J-shape. 12

(24) The tables show… (The active voice is better) It will be seen from the table …

(25) PCR analysis produced clones of the toxin B DNA originally isolated in cultures of c. difficile(梭状芽胞杆菌) from hospital patients.

(26) 【Incorrect】Comparing Huckin’s method with ours, the difference between them is that we don’t use external forces to join the panels in the model together.

【Correct】Unlike Huckin’s method, our method doesn’t use external forces to join the panels in the model together.

(27)【Incorrect】Starting the machine, an unusual problem occurred.

【Correct】When the machine was started, an unusual problem occurred.

(28)【Incorrect】After connecting this lead（导线）to pin 1 of the second tube, the other lead is connected to pin 2.

【Correct 】After this lead has been connected to pin 1 of the second tube, the other lead is connected to pin 2.

(29)【Incorrect】To meet this requirement, an optimization(最优化) technique for implicit-form problems must be developed.

【Correct】To meet this requirement, we must develop an optimization technique for implicit-form problems.

(30) 【Incorrect】Before adding the compound, it was determined that the solution’s PH was 6.4.

【Correct】Before the addition of the compound, it was determined that the solution’s PH was 6.4.

(31)【Incorrect】The United States only installed only 420 MW of additional wind capacity in 1998.

【Correct】The United States installed only 420 MW of additional wind capacity in 1998. “only” is not used to modify the verb “installed” but “420”, so it should be placed before “420”.

(32)【Incorrect】The experiment approximately took three hours. 【Correct】The experiment took approximately three hours.

(33)【Incorrect】A laser disk drive is used in the CD-ROM device that is the same size as a traditional 5.25-inch drive.

【Correct】A laser disk drive that is the same size as a traditional 5.25-inch drive is used in the CD-ROM device.

(34) In section 4, experiments are described in which the proposed method is applied to control a standard industrial robot manipulator. (35) In this report, an efficient algorithm(有效算法) is developed that employs the concept of static equilibrium(平衡) to determine the stability of clamping(嵌位).

(36)【Incorrect】The accuracy of the new robot arm is greater than the conventional one.

【Correct 1】The accuracy of the new robot arm is greater than that of the conventional one. 【Correct 2】The new robot arm is more accurate than the conventional one.

(37)【Incorrect】 Compare the voltage drop between node 1 and node 2 and node 3 and node 4. 【Correct】Compare the voltage drop between node 1 and node 2 with that between node 3 and node 4. (38)【Incorrect】Low-frequency noise is filtered out more effectively by the AGG than the limiter. 【Correct 1】The AGC filters out low-frequency noise more effectively than the limiter does.

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【Correct 2】Low-frequency noise is filtered out more effectively by the AGC than by the limiter.

(39) [Original] The rate gyroscope itself consists of a very rapidly spinning wheel and electronic components which sense changes in the axis of rotation of the wheel, and which modify and output a digital signal accordingly.

The sentence is awkward, confusing and obscure because it violates the rhetorical principle—one idea per sentence. Such too long sentences can be avoided by giving each idea a sentence of its own and connecting the sentences. Semicolons might be used where we really want to emphasize the relationship between ideas.

[Revision] The rate gyroscope itself consists of a very rapidly spinning wheel. Changes in the wheel’s axis of rotation are sensed by electronic components, which modify and output a digital signal proportional to the changes.

(40) [Original] Today, society is witnessing the steady progression of women towards equality with their increasing presence in the working world and in government and their gradual move outside the home.

[Revision] Today, society is witnessing women’s steady progression towards equality. Moving beyond the limits of the home, women are claiming new and increasing authority in government, business, and other historically male-dominated areas. (41)【Incorrect】《Science and Nature》

【Correct】Science and Nature

(42) The trees on our campus include many fine Japanese specimens such as black pines, ginkgoes, weeping cherries, and maples.

(43) Many shade-loving plants, such as begonias, impatiens and coleus, can add color to a shady garden.

(44) The amount of solute（溶质，溶解物）you obtain in this way depends not only upon the volume of solution(溶液) but also upon the concentration of solute, i.e., the amount of solute in a given amount of solution.

(45)【Incorrect】The diameter of this rope is 2 in.. 【Correct】The diameter of this rope is 2 in.

(46) 【Original】It has only been since the early 1960s that isokinetic i.e. devices that allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities, have been available on the commercial market. These devices, such as the Cybex II Isokinetic Dynamometer (等速肌力测试仪) (Lummex Inc.), measure the torque (力矩) produced throughout the range of voluntary limb movements held at constant pre-set velocities. They provide an ideal means of measuring an individual’s torque generating capacities, and thereby greater information on the expression of strength in maximal voluntary limb movements(肢体运动). This is what traditional methods could not do.

In the paragraph above the author has put two pints in the topic sentence, without indication, through punctuation. This could be easily improved by putting one point, not two, in the topic sentence. In most cases, we prefer to keep the two points in the topic sentence, using two commas to show which is more important. We could revise the example above in two ways:

【Revision 1】It has only been since the early 1960s that isokinetic devices, which allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities, have been available on the commercial market.

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【Revision 2】Isokinetic devices, which have only been available on the commercial market since the early 1960s, allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities.

The words in bold mark the main point; the point between the commas is secondary. The first option means that the main point of the paragraph is the commercial availability of the devices; the second option means that the main point is what these devices do. According to the developing sentences in this paragraph, it can be seen that the second is a better choice. 6.4.

1) The following paragraph is extracted from articles submitted to a journal. Obviously it is a poor introductory paragraph. Please revise them.

(1) In this paper, in view of the randomness uncertainty and fuzziness uncertainty of meteorological parameters(气象参数) in ice disaster weather, we established a wind and ice loading risk analysis model, and proposed a fuzzy risk predictive method. This paper aims to build basic model of risk assessment and provide warning information of the loading line to operator. [Key] To build a basic risk assessment model and to provide warning information of the loading line for operators, we established a wind and ice loading risk analysis model, and proposed a fuzzy risk predicative method based on the randomness uncertainty and fuzziness uncertainty of meteorological parameters in ice disaster weather.

2.) Please improve the following wrongly translated English sentences. (1)这种新方法具有效率高、容易调整的优点。

【Incorrect】This kind of new method have the advantage of high efficiency, easy adjustment. 【Correct】This new method has the advantages of high efficiency and easy adjustment. (2)【汉语原句】本文首先讨论了这种信号的特点，然后讨论了它的产生。

【Incorrect】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then its generation is described.

【Correct】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then describes its generation. (3)【汉语原句】这台设备的特点是操作简便，价格低廉。

【Incorrect】The features of this device are easy in operation and low in price.

【Correct】The features of this device are easy operation and low price.或 The device features easy operation and low price.

(4)【汉语原句】强调指出了光强随圆柱体直径变化的正弦规律.

【Incorrect】The sine law of the variance of the light intensity brought due to the variance of the cylinder diameter has been pointed out emphatically. 【Correct】 The sine law of the variation of the light intensity with the cylinder diameter has been emphasized.

(5)【汉语原句】我们的方法与以前讨论同一问题的文章中所述的不同。

【Incorrect】Our method is different from previous articles discussed the same problem.

【Correct】 Our method is different from those presented (described) in the paper available (published before) on (discussing) the same problem.

(6)【汉语原句】只有通过对该系统性能的研究，我们才能了解它的优点。

【Incorrect】Only through studied the performance of the system, its advantages can be understood.

【Correct】 Only through the study of the performance of the system, can we understand

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(appreciate) its advantages.

(7)【汉语原句】本文对提高打印速度和印字质量提供了一种机辅设计手段。

【Incorrect】This paper provided a kind of means of computer aid design for progressing the printing speed and the printing quality.

【Correct】 This paper presents a CAD method for increasing the printing speed and improving the printing quality.

(8)【汉语原句】同时给出了三轴稳定跟踪器的数学描述及全补偿条件。

【Incorrect】The mathematical description and the full-compensation conditions of the 3-axes steady-tracking principle are also given.

【Correct】 The mathematical description of and the full-compensation conditions for the 3-axis steady-tracking principle are also given .

(9)【汉语原句】文中比较了STM和ATM，表明ATM将是BISDN的基础。

【Incorrect】STM and ATM are compared. It shows that ATM should be the ground of BISDN . 【Correct】 A comparison of STM with (and) ATM (或 A comparison between STM and ATM) is made, which shows that ATM will be the basis of BISDN. (10)【汉语原句】对构件的承载能力作了具体的分析。

【Incorrect】The detailed analysis of the ability of bearing loads of the components is given.

【Correct】 A detailed (concrete) analysis of the ability of the components to carry loads is made. (11).这个方法需要精确的定位，这使得它的实现具有一定的难度。

【Incorrect】This method requires accurate location and this makes its realization have a little difficulty.

【Correct】 This method requires accurate location, which makes (thus making) its realization somewhat difficult.

(12)对A的识别和对B的确定是使用这一方法的先决条件。

【Incorrect】The recognition of A and determining B are the prerequisite for the use of this method.

【Correct】 The recognition of A and the determination of B are the prerequisites for the use of this method.

13. 最后提出了实现这种方法应注意的一些问题和解决方法。

【Incorrect】At last, we provided some problems that could be noted in implementing this method and solving ways.

【Correct】 Finally, some problems that deserve to be noted in implementing this method and their solution are presented.

(14) 由于缺陷的存在，构件的疲劳寿命将大大降低。

【Incorrect】Because of the existing of the defect, the fatigue life of the components will decrease very much.

【Correct】 Because of (Due to) the existence of the defect, the fatigue life of the components will be decreased (shortened) greatly.

(15) 导出了一个计算电荷分布的简单公式，最后举了若干例子。

【Incorrect】A simple formula to calculate the charge distribution is derived and some examples are given in the end.

【Correct】 A simple formula for calculating the charge distribution is derived and finally some examples are given.

(16) 并讨论了这一方法与扫描法相比的优点。

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【Incorrect】As compared with the scanning method, the advantages of this method has discussed also.

【Correct】 The advantages of this method over the scanning method have also been discussed. (17) 已知常数K，就能算出C来。

【Incorrect】Giving the constant K, C can be calculated.

【Correct】 Given (Knowing) the constant K, one (we) can calculate C. (18) 锡的熔点没有铅的高。

【Incorrect】Tin does not have a melting point as high as lead does. 【Correct】 Tin does not have as high a melting point as lead does. (19) 这台新设计的仪器质量很好。

【Incorrect】This new designed instrument is in good quality . 【Correct】 This newly designed instrument is good in quality. (20) 这台转动的机器将在一二分钟后自动停下来。

【Incorrect】This running machine will stop of itself after one minute or two.

【Correct】 This running machine will stop of itself in one or two minutes (in a minute or two). (21) 在这种情况下，输入不会下降，输出也不会下降。

【Incorrect】In this case, the input does not fall; the output does not fall, too. 【Correct】 In this case, the input does not fall, neither (nor) does the output.

(22) 导体的电阻不仅取决于制成导体的材料，而且也取决于导体的尺寸和温度。

【Incorrect】The resistance of a conductor not only depends on the material with which the conductor is made, but also on the size and temperature of the conductor.

【Correct】 The resistance of a conductor depends not only on the material of which the conductor is made, but also on the size and temperature of the conductor. (23) 在10月8日早上又发射了一颗通信卫星。

【Incorrect】Another comsat has been launched in the morning of the 8th of October. 【Correct】 Another comsat was launched on the morning of the 8th of October. (24) 这个问题有待解决。

【Incorrect】This problem waits to solve.

【Correct】 This problem remains to be solved. (25) 这个电荷与存在的其他电荷互相作用。

【Incorrect】This charge interacts with other present charges. 【Correct】 This charge interacts with other charges present. (26) 现有的教科书没有提到这一点。

【Incorrect】The now existed textbooks do not make mention of this point.

【Correct】 The existing textbooks(或The textbooks available) have make no mention of this point.

(27) X的所有值均不能满足这一方程。

【Incorrect】All values of x can’t satisfy this equation.

【Correct】 No values of x (或None of the values of x) can satisfy this equation. (28) 这个电压几乎是测不出的。

【Incorrect】This voltage almost can not be measured. 【Correct】 This voltage can hardly be measured.

【Analysis】汉语“几乎不可能”的英文翻译应该是can hardly。 (29) 铜的导电率比铁高。

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【Incorrect】The conductivity of copper is higher than iron.

【Correct】 The conductivity of copper is higher than that of iron. (30) 在这个实验室中，这台仪器比其他的灵敏。

【Incorrect】In this laboratory, this instrument is more sensitive than any one.

【Correct】 In this laboratory, this instrument is more sensitive than any other one(any one else). (31) 这本书的序言写的很好。

【Incorrect】The preface of this book was well written. 【Correct】The preface to this book is well written.

(32) 波能绕其通道上的障碍物的边缘弯曲行进，这一特性成称为绕射。 【Incorrect】Waves are able to bend around the edge of an obstacle in their path, this property is called diffraction.

【Correct】Waves are able to bend around the edge of an obstacle in their path, a property called diffraction. (33) 这条曲线显示了该电路中的电流随外加电压的变化情况。

【Incorrect】The curve shows the situation of the current in the circuit varying with the applied voltage.

【Correct】The curve shows the variation of the current in the circuit with the applied voltage. 【Analysis】错误在于不了解固定词汇搭配模式“the variation of A with B”。 (34) 其他类型的电动机也广泛地用在工业上。

【Incorrect】Other types of the electric motor also are widely used in industry. 【Correct】 Other types of electric motor are also widely used in industry. (35) 直到发明了显微镜后对细菌的真正研究才成为可能。

【Incorrect】Until the invention of the microscope the real study of bacteria became possible. 【Correct】 Not until the invention of the microscope did the real study of bacteria become possible.

(36) 必须了解这种材料是否能经受住这么大的力。

【Incorrect】It is necessary to know if this material can stand a so large force or not.

【Correct】 It is necessary to know whether this material can stand so large a force or not. (37) 两小时后该机器会自动地再次启动。

【Incorrect】The machine will automatically start to operate again two hours later. 【Correct】 The machine will automatically start to operate again in two hours. (38) 该实验室从八点钟开始的。

【Incorrect】The experiment began from eight o’clock. 【Correct】 The experiment began at eight o’clock

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