翻译批评与赏析讲义

Lecture One On Verse Translation

I. Part One: On Verse Translation

1. Marcus Tullius Cicero (马尔库斯·图留斯·西塞罗，106 B.C.-43 B.C.)[荷马史诗《奥德赛》译者]

His opinions on translation:

Translate not as an interpreter, but as an orator, keeping the same ideas and forms, namely, the figures of thought;

In language, conform to our usage; not hold it necessary to render word for word, but preserve the general style and force of the language;

Count the words out to the reader like coins, but pay them by weight; Translate flexibly to make the version superior to the original.

2. Quintus Horatius flaccus (贺拉斯，65 B.C.-8 B.C.)[诗人、翻译家] His opinions on translation:

Do not be a literal translator, faithfully rendering word for word from the original language;

A translator who is faithful to the original will not translate word for word.

3. St. Jerome (347?-420)

In literary translation, he translated the original into his own language by conquest.

4. Gavin Douglas (1475-1522) [A famous Scot poet and literary translator]

Flexible and free translation rather than literal translation;

5. Nicolas Grimald (1519-1562) [A poet and translator; A translator of Cicero’s works]

The Version should be as concise as the original so as to keep the complete original style; The faithfulness to the original should be the top principle of translation; 6. George Chapman (1559-1634) [poet, translator of Greek classics]

Against rigid word-for-word translation; Against over-free translation. (two extremes)

7. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

Translate the poetry in essay style;

(What is the essence of poetry? Something left after the original poem has been translated into the version in the form of essay; the poetic form is nothing but shining outer ornament or decoration.)

8. John Denham (1615-1669) [A famous translator in the 17 century;A poet and

th

literary critics]

No faithfulness in verse translation; Translate poetry in form of poetry;

Faithful to the original meaning rather than the original form;

Add something new to compensate for the loss aroused by the alteration of the

times, languages, and places.

9. Abraham Cowley (1618-1667)[An important poet, critic, and translator; Famous for his translation of pindar’s poems]

It’s ridiculous to translate a poem literally;

Recreate freely with the original theme to make the version superior or equal to the original.

10. Wentworth Dillon, earl of Roscommon (1633-1685)[A poet and translator; His main contribution to translation: translation theory; Essay on translated verse.] Poetry must be translated by poets.

A friendly relationship must be set between the original author and the translator; Choose the original materials of his own style to translate;

Comprehend the original thoroughly, and be faithful to the essential meaning of the original without addition or distraction.

11. John Dryden (1631-1700) Translation is an art;

The equivalence of beauty between the original and the version

12. Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

A translator must be faithful to the original to the most degree; A translator should not try to surpass the original author; Equivalent to the original style;

Against literal translation as well as imitation.

13. William Cowper (1731-1800)[ A famous translator of Homer’s epics]

Against Pope’s free style of wording;

A midway between metaphrase and imitation;

The highest principle of translation: faithful to the original; tightly close to the original;

Against translating Homer’s epic in English rhyme pattern.

14. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)[ poet and critic]

Different language is formed with different principle; hence the same expressions of the different languages do not mean the same beauty and grace all the way; The successful translation depends on the choice of the style.

15. Pushkin (1799-1837)[The greatest people’s poet in Russia; a prominent representative of Russian literature in 19th century; a verse translator.]

A translator must have his own freedom in the choice of original materials;

A translator should enjoy sufficient freedom in translation; (imitation and adaptation);

A translator must convey the original features as completely as possible.

16. Rukovsky (茹科夫斯基，1783-1852)[The first true lyric poet in Russia]

A verse translator should have more freedom in translation than an essay translator does; (An essay translator is a slave of the original author, while a verse translator an enemy.)

A translator should only translate the original works with the same quality and flavor of his own. (Roscommom)

17. Lermontov (莱蒙托夫，1814-1841)[A great poet after Pushkin]

Translated freely and creatively to show the representative features of the original; The evaluation of a version depends on the literary value of the version as a Russian literary work.

18. Fet (费特)[A typical representative of the pure-art poets]

The artistic works have nothing to do with the people;

The poetic creation should break away from the vulgar people;

The wonderfulness in form cannot be separated from the genius of the work. Translate as literally as possible;

19. Theodore H. Savory [A lingual scholar; his major work: The Art of Translation] Translation is an art: Literary translation as painting; scientific translation photography;

His 12 descriptive principles on translation:

1) A translation must give the words of the original; 2) A translation must give the ideas of the original; 3) A translation should read like an original work; 4) A translation should read like a translation;

5) A translation should reflect the style of the original; 6) A translation should reflect the style of the translator;

7) A translation should read as a contemporary of the original; 8) A translation should read as a contemporary of the translator; 9) A translation may add to or omit from the original;

10) A translation may never add to or omit from the original; 11) A translation of verse should be in prose; 12) A translation of verse should be in verse;

20. 苏曼殊：

诗歌之美，在乎气体；然其情思幼眇，抑亦十方同感。 按文切理，语无增饰；陈义悱恻，事辞相称。 （《拜伦诗选》自序）

21．郭沫若：

处女应当尊重，媒婆应当稍加遏抑。（《论诗三札》之余）

理想的翻译对于原文的字句，对于原文的意义，自然不许走转，而对于原文的气韵尤

其不许走转。（《理想的翻译之我见》）

译雪莱的诗，是要使我成为雪莱，是要使雪莱成为我自己。译诗不是鹦鹉学话，不是沐猴而冠。??我爱雪莱，我能感听得他的心声，我能和他共鸣，我和他结婚了。——我和他合二为一了。他的诗便如像我自己的诗，我译他的诗，便如像我自己在创作一样。（《雪莱诗选》小序）

是诗的，无论写成文言白话，韵体散体，他根本是诗。（同上） 提炼、滋补、定型。（《浮士德》简论）

22．茅盾：

“诗是具有一种奥妙的精神的，由这种文字而转于那种文字上时，他就完全蒸散了；如果没有一种新的精神，加在译文里，那么，除了无用之物以外，更没有什么东西存留着呢。”（引用Denham的话）

我也赞成意译——对于死译而言的意译，不是任意删改原文，以意译之的意译；换句话说，就是主要在保留原作神韵的译法。（《译诗的一些意见》）

我以为一首诗的神韵是诗中最重要的一部，??如果我们不失原诗的神韵，其余关于“韵”“律”种种不妨相异。而且神韵的保留是可能的，韵律的保留是不可能的。（同上）

意译的限制：一、不删节原文；二、保持原诗神韵；三、合乎原诗风格。（同上） 译诗的形式：是该译成散文呢，还是译成本国的诗歌形式？凡是有格律的诗，固然也有他从格律生出来的美，译外国有格律的诗，在理论上，自然照样也译为有格律的诗，来得好些。但在实际，拘拘于格律，便要妨碍了译诗其他的必要条件。而且格律总不能尽依原诗，反正是部分的模仿，不如不管，而用散文体去翻译，翻译成散文的不是一定没有韵，要用韵仍旧可以用的。（同上）

我觉得翻译外国诗似乎也可以有一个原则，这就是不以能仿照原诗格律为贵。（同上） 翻译本来全随译者手段的高低而分优劣，什么方法，什么原则，都是无用的废话；而且即使有了，在低手段的译者是知而不能，在天才的译者反成了桎梏。（同上）

23．成仿吾：

理想的译诗，第一，它应当自己也是诗；第二，它应传原诗的情绪；第三，它应传原诗的内容；第四，它应取原诗的形式。（《论译诗》）

译诗的时候，译者须没入诗人的对象中，使诗人成为自己，自己成为诗人，然后把在自己胸中沸腾着的情感，用全部的势力与纯真吐出。（同上）

24．王科一：

译诗要以传达境界为主，移植形式次之，遣词用字又次之，然而话也得说回来，能够抓住了境界，移植形式和驾驭语言的问题也就迎刃而解了。（《从雪莱论译诗谈起》）

附雪莱论译诗：“译诗是徒劳无益的，把一个诗人的创作从一种语言译成另一种语言，犹如把一朵紫罗兰投入坩埚，企图由此探索它的色泽和香味的构造原理，其为不智一也。”

25．许渊冲：

创优似竞赛，美化之艺术。

26．丰华瞻：

译诗和写诗一样，要民族化、大众化、要做到上口；译诗时要作出努力，将翻译的诗纳入我国的民族形式。

译诗时应忠实于原诗的意义与诗情，而不是忠实于原诗的语法结构和个别词汇，也不必忠实于原诗的行数、韵律等。

把诗译成诗。（《诗歌翻译的几个问题》）

27．曹明伦：

关于诗歌翻译，我历来主张在神似的基础上追求最大限度的形似，因为译介外国文学作品一方面是要为本民族读者提供读之有益的读物，另一方面则是要为本民族作家提供可资借鉴的文本。要实现这一目的，就不仅要译出原作的思想内容，同时还要译出其文体风格；对译诗而言，要译出原诗的文体风格，就应该尽量保留原诗的音步和韵式。因为正如英国诗人锡德尼指出的那样：历史上所有伟大的诗歌都证明，任何一种成熟的诗都必须有严谨的格律；而美国诗人弗罗斯特在论及自由诗和格律诗的关系时则说：“如果没有多年的格律诗功底，自由诗会自由得一无是处。”

28．辜正坤：

诗歌鉴赏五象美：1）诗歌视象美；2) 诗歌音象美；3）诗歌义象美；4）诗歌事象美；5）诗歌味象美。

中西诗歌鉴赏十角度：1）时间角度；2）空间角度；3）作者角度；4）作品角度；5）读者角度；6）年龄角度；7）性别角度；8）社会文化角度；9）阐释者角度；10）译者角度。

诗歌五功能：1）纯审美功能；2）娱乐功能；3）教谕功能；4）认知功能；5）实用功能。

诗歌鉴赏五标准：1）纯审美标准；2）娱乐标准；3）教谕标准；4）认知标准；5）实用标准。

Part Two: The Criticism & Appreciation of the E-C Translation of Poems 例一： 原诗：

Ode to the Human Life (Extracted) By Longfellow

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem.

译诗一： 勿以忧时言 人生若虚梦

灵性咄即与死无异 不仅形骸尚有灵在

（威妥玛 译） 译诗二：

莫将烦恼著诗篇 百岁原如一觉眠 梦短梦长同是梦 独留真气满乾坤

例九：

The Grave of Love

By Thomas Love Peacock I dug, beneath the cypress29 shade,

What well might seem an elfin’s30 grave; And every pledge in earth I laid, That erst thy false affection gave.

I pressed them down the sod31 beneath; I placed one mossy stone above; And twined the rose’s fading wreath Around the sepulcher32 of love.

Frail33 as thy love, the flowers were dead, Ere yet the evening sun was set: But years shall see the cypress spread, Immutable34 as my regret.

译诗：

爱冢

在那棵柏树的荫下， 挖一个精致的小冢； 把信誓旦旦都埋下， 那是你往日的虚情。

用土压紧爱的誓言； 立一个生苔的石碑； 把干枯的玫瑰花环 环绕在爱冢的周围。

如你的爱羸弱无主， 花谢了，日坠西天： 恰好似翠柏年年绿， 徒任我、此恨绵绵。 (孟凡君 译) 例十： A Memory

By Lola Ridge

2930

cypress: 柏树。 elfin: 精致的。 31

sod: 土块。 32

sepulcher: 坟冢。 33

frail: 脆弱的。 34

immutable: 不变的。

I remember

The crackle35 of the palm trees

Over the mooned white roofs of the town… The shining town…

And the tender fumbling36 of the surf37 On the sulphur-yellow38 beaches

As we sat…a little apart…in the close— Pressing night.

The moon hung above us like a golden mango39, And the moist air clung to our faces,

Warm and fragrant as the open mouth of a child And we watched the out—flung sea Rolling to the purple edge of the world, Yet ever back upon itself… As we…

Inadequate night…

And mooned white memory Of a tropic sea…

How softly it comes up Like an ungathered lily40.

译诗：

记忆

我记得

索索作响的棕榈树

摇曳于撒满月华的房顶?? 小镇一片空明?? 浪间的白沫轻轻荡漾， 涌向橙黄色的海滩，

我们坐着??微微分开??包裹于—— 沉沉黑夜。

当空的皓月宛如金色的芒果， 滋润的空气轻拂着我们的脸，

温暖，馨香，如孩童张开的小嘴巴。 我们凝望着澎湃的大海， 3536

crackle: 发出的声响。 fumble: 波荡。 37

surf: 海浪的泡沫。 38

sulphur-yellow: 硫磺色的，或橙黄色的。 39

mango: 芒果。 40

lily: 百合花。

洪波滚滚涌上紫色的彼岸， 然后滔滔而回?? 像我们??

良宵苦短?? 月白色的记忆 在热带海滨?? 如同烂漫的百合， 柔柔记在心。

(孟凡君 译) 例十一： 原诗：

The Widow’s Lament41 in Springtime By William Carlos Williams Sorrow is my own yard Where the new grass Flames as it has flamed Often before but not With the cold fire

That closes round me this year. Thirty—five years

I lived with my husband. The plumtree is white today With masses of flowers. Masses of flowers

Load the cherry branches And color some bushes Yellow and some red But the grief in my heart Is stronger than they

For thought they were my joy Formerly, today I notice them And turned away forgetting. Today my son told me That in the meadows42,

At the edge of the heavy woods In the distance, he saw Trees of white flowers. I feel that I would like To go there

And fall into those flowers

And sink into the marsh43 near them. 4142

lament: 愁怨。 meadow: 草坪。

译诗：

孀妇春愁

满院凄凄惨惨， 其间新绿 萋萋似从前。 今载已非旧岁， 乍暖还寒，

严相逼似水流年。 三十五载

与夫相守相依。 今日棕榈满枝白， 正繁花怒放时。 棵棵樱桃树， 簇簇锦花亦满枝， 更兼木叶灼灼， 点染黄与赤。 情比花色更浓， 心中悲与苦！ 先前侍花弄草，

今朝愁颜相对无意趣， 将身回转莫记取。 今日得见娇儿， 闻听语絮絮：

遥远处密密丛林边， 近处芳草圃， 皆见白花树。 心中忽生一念： 且归去：

先置身花儿朵朵， 再殒没、树边沼泽。 （孟凡君 译） 例十二： 原诗：

Sudden light

By Dante Gabriel Rossetti I have been here before,

But when or how I cannot tell: I know the grass beyond the door, The sweet keen smell,

The sighing sound, the lights around the shore.

You have been mine before, --

43

marsh: 沼泽。

How long ago I may not know: But just when at that swallow’s soar Your neck turned so,

Some veil did fall, I know it all of yore. Has this been thus before?

And shall not this time’s eddying flight Still with our lives our loves restore In death’s despite.

译诗一：词曲体（步原诗多元韵式） 曾留遗踪于此，

但忘了何年何月何因。 还记得门前芳草如旧时， 无言暗送香轻。

潮卷叹息，崖畔灯火低迷。 曾赢得你芳心属意， 悠悠岁月，何处淹留。 猛可里见飞燕惊起， 你流盼回眸，

纱巾飘落，——唉，当年旧事堪提！ 莫非前事直如此？ 莫非荏苒光阴不再轮回 令我们恩爱如往昔， 休道无常相催，

只不分昼夜，再度鱼水乐如斯？ （辜正坤 译） 译诗二：白话体（自由韵式） 我从前曾来过这里，——

但却忘了是什么时候，是什么情形， 我熟悉这门外的草儿青青， 有香气四溢，

岸边叹息伴着灯火微明， 你曾是属于我的——

虽然究竟是多少年前，我已记不清， 但当燕子飞掠长空， 你回首盼顾，

抖落了纱巾！——忽记起这一切我原本知情。 难道这一切本就只能如此？ 难道这时光的飞旋之轮，

不能使你我的爱情与生活枯木逢春， 逃避了死亡，

让我们白天黑夜地重享一次欢欣？ （辜正坤 译）

总结：

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