荆轲刺秦王 英语剧本（整理版）2

荆轲刺秦王剧本

Introduction:

Long ago there was a crazy country。In this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

Action 1

人物：太子丹、魔镜、阿三（太子丹的honey）

侍卫：Your majesty, emperor, there is a man calling himself genius asks to see you. 某个人进来求见

嬴政：What is your name? 某人：Genius

嬴政：What are your best professional skills?

某人：I have a good idea to assist you to unify six states. 嬴政：Oh, very well. Raise your head and tell me your idea. 某人抬起头

嬴政突然站起来说：Haul out and kill the man.

某人：Why? Your majesty, emperor, I don’t cheat you.

嬴政：I never say that you cheat me. I kill you because of your handsome appearance.

嬴政：

Prince Dan: Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the prettiest man in the world? [掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状] Mirror: It’s you, Prince Dan! [献媚状]

Prince Dan: oh oh oh, I know it.

I’m Prince Dan; the magic mirror said I was the most attractive man in the world. But

Ying Zheng is a jealous guy; I feel he will kill me if the mirror told him the truth. I am

so scared. So what can I do? [面对观众，做忧愁状]

Where is my minister? [仰天长啸]

San: Honey, I am just here, prince san.

Prince Dan : I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、

graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan” [自恋状]

San: Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~

Prince Dan: Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? [看阿三]

Talent[拍阿三肩膀，赞许状]

Good idea! But who is the right candidate? [疑惑]

San: After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss Limo Chou and the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. Prince Dan: Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? San: yes.

Prince Dan: wait! How we can make jingke help us to kill yingzheng?

San: I heard that jingke is a lecherous man. Besides, he has a dream that he wants to but never come true.

Prince: what dream?

San: he is always hoping that he can be thinner. This, he will be more handsome. And his girlfriend once threatened him that if he couldn’t reduce weight, they would abandon him. Prince Dan: I get it. I get it

太子丹和阿三两人开始大笑，哈哈哈

Prince Dan: I love you very much .honey san.

Action 2

人物：荆轲、李莫愁

Lee:jingke, the faithless man. I hate you .today I will take you head in my hand.

Jing ke: wait! Oh my daring. I bitterly regretted breaking up with you that time. It is all my fault .when you weren’t around me, I almost can’t breathe. Because I miss you very much

李莫愁开始流泪，Lee: I had planned to kill you with my new kung fu—nine Yin bones claw. But ??but. I hope you don’t cheat me again.

Jing ke: Of course! 荆轲奔向李莫愁，然后捅了李莫愁一刀 （《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”荆轲几刀砍死了李莫愁，

Lee: why? What are you doing? Why did you stick me indeed with your sword? You see ,oh ,my god ,a lot of blood [吓死过去]

Jing ke: Oh, my long long ago girlfriend, forgive me. I have no choice. Only I beat you, I can get the title of no1 killer. If I can’t get the title, my business will be poor. You know I need money to attract and support beautiful girls.

众人散去，荆轲也离开了，李莫愁 突然做起来。

Lee:jigke,you are a bad guy without conscience. 李莫愁站起来拍拍土，走了

Action 3

人物：太子丹、阿三、荆轲 Prince Dan: How are you? [抱拳] Jing ke: Fine, thank you, and you?

Prince Dan: Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? Jing ke: sure

Prince Dan: How are you?

Jing: Fine, thank you, and your wife? [太子丹昏倒]

Jing: Hey, man, I’m kidding! Prince Dan: Oh, I’m kidding too!

May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：”To be or not to be, that's a question.”【PPT展示】 San : Hero，we need your help. Jing: I am busy now!

Prince Dan: You can get a lot of money. Jing: I am very busy now! San: IC, ID, IQ card?

Jing: I am very very busy now!

San: Look She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

Jing: I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! [流口水] San: What? What’s the TCM?

Jing: Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.

San: Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

路人甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM. [可改成在PPT上呈现]

Prince Dan: I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a new product of Unilever China.

Jing: Sliming tea. I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My girlfriend always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. [激动状]

San: You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me?

Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad; you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really？ （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹 摆了一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）

Jing: Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. Prince Dan& san: yeah! [撞胯，击掌]

Action 4

人物：荆轲、荆轲女朋友、太子丹、阿三 （《大话西游》主题曲响起）

San: Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. Jing: Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends Prince Dan: I will miss you, baby.

Action 5

人物：荆轲、荆轲妻子

《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型 Jing: Darling, I love you.

J wife: I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!

Jing: I love you more. Now ,I feel that except you and me, the whole silly world going to pieces around us,

I love you. [流泪状]

J wife: Well. Be a man, just does it! I will be right here waiting for you.

Jing : （欲走还留，执子之手又曰）Sweetheart! You must do me these honors... promise me you will survive all along, and keep having the meal well, having the sleep well. No matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise j girlfriend: I promise

jing: Never let go.

J wife: I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go. 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

Action 6 人物：嬴政 嬴政：【自我陶醉，自恋状】

Look at my brow. It is the most beautiful brow in the world. Look at my eyes. It is the most charm eyes in the world. Look at my nose. It is the straightest nose in the world. Look at my lips. It is the hottest lips in the world. Oh, my god. Why am I so handsome? Thank my father and my mother. Sometimes when I stand in front of the mirror, I cloud’s control myself to knee.

看看我的眉毛，这是世界上最美的眉毛；看看我的眼睛，这是世界上最迷人的眼睛；看看我的鼻子，这是世界上最挺拔的鼻子；看看我的嘴巴，这是世界上最性感的双唇。天呀，为什么，为什么我会这么帅。 小仆人：informe emepire 报，陛下，荆轲求见

嬴政：荆轲？荆轲是谁？jingke?who is it ?

荆轲：I am a man who will give you a surpise.我是一个给你惊喜的人。

嬴政：Surprise？What surprise? Oh,you will give me the newest Bayerische Motoren Werke of limited editions.什么惊喜。哦，你要给我宝马最新限量版？ 荆轲：no

嬴政：a luxury mansion with two floors and a open-air swimming pool?独栋双层带露天游泳池豪华别墅？

荆轲：no, a surprise more than this.不是，比这更大的惊喜。 嬴政:indeed?

荆轲：Yes. It is 16 city walls and moats城池，是16座城池呀，陛下。 嬴政：Please tell me quickly, where? 荆轲：【举起地图】It is here. 嬴政：Come on and show me .

荆轲走上前摊开地图，匕首现。嬴政跳开。

嬴政：你要干什么 are you crazy ?I am the emperor

荆轲：I will take your head to exchange the slimming tea.狗贼，我今天要杀了你 嬴政：soldiers ,where are soldiers来人 两人转圈，对持

小仆人抓住荆轲，嬴政大笑

嬴政：I respect every hero and I never kill anyone who is’t a criminal. Now I give you a chance to survive. If you can answer the question right ,I will let you go.问答时间，如果你能答对这道问题，我今天就不杀你。

荆轲：哼my ego is not you want to take, you can take

嬴政：Who is the most handsome man in the world ?世界上最帅的男人是谁？ 荆轲：【笑】it is me. 当然是太子丹

嬴政：Wrong. Take it out and kill it .【杀了荆轲】

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