老友记第一季第18集中英剧本 - 图文

118 The One With All The Poker (The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.) Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here. Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics? Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for. Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...' Ross: Rach, did you proofread these? Rachel: Uh... yeah, why? Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills. Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them? Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few. Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.] Monica: Hey, guys. Chandler and Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail? Monica: Lots of responses. Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me. Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter) Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon... Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter) Phoebe: Wow! Rachel: What? Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge! Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that! (Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.) Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again? Ross: I don't know. Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing? Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel) Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn? Ross: What? Chandler: Could you want her more? Ross: Who? Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening. 118 玩扑克 瑞秋，履历表已用完了 你真想到《大众机械师》上班吗? 如果你真想为技工工作 那倒是可以试试 各位，我什么都得试试 我不能再当服务生了 我是说真的，我已厌倦微薄小费 我已厌倦别人对我说“麻烦一下” 瑞秋，这些你已校对过了吗? 对，有问题吗? 没事,他们对你的“电恼”技巧 一定会印象深刻的 糟了，每一份上面都这样吗? 没有，复印机弄掉一些了 各位 两位小姐，需要什么吗? 信件带来了没有? 这里有很多 我们这儿当然有烤饼 快念给我听 亲爱的格林小姐，感谢您的询问，然而… 我们有苹果肉桂…亲爱的格林小姐… 好……好……好…… 没戏。 怎么了? 你信用卡的帐单不小呀. 给我 我真不敢相信 琳达那么好你为何不再和她约会? 我也不知道 是因为她认为“石头族真有可能发生”的事吗? （科幻电影情节） 不只是因为那样 因为我要一个能让我有感觉 能让我心跳加速，让我… 变成拜倒裙下的玩物？ 什么? 你不是渴望着她吗? 谁? 蒂，《发生何事》中 那个尖酸刻薄的女孩 我早就忘了她，行吗? 你们怎么样？ 我们很好 闭嘴 Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii! Rachel: Hi! How are you? Ross: We're fine, we're fine. Rachel: OK. (walks away) (Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.) Joey: Shut up! Chandler: We're not—we're not saying anything. Phoebe: What? Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night. Joey: Thank you. Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright... Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright? Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.' Chandler: And then he did. Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us? Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play? Ross: No, women are welcome to play. Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it? Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games. Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker. Girls: Oh, yeah, right. Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse! Rachel: Really. Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response. Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play? Girls: No. Rachel: But you could teach us. Guys: No. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.] Chandler: (teaching) OK, so now we draw cards. Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight. Rachel: Oh, good for you! Phoebe: Congratulations! (Microwave timer goes off. Monica gets up.) Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want? Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs. Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can't—you can't do... Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe) Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that. Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours. Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up) (Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.) Monica: Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites. Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo! Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You 我们什么都没说 怎么了？ 昨晚乔伊哭了 谢谢 我们在玩扑克牌 “3”上面沾了点巧克力，看起来像是“8”，仅此而已 可惜你没看到 他说“开牌，你们哭吧” 结果哭的是他 为什么你们从没和我们玩过扑克牌? 对，为什么?好像这是男人的专利， 好像是有性别歧视的男人的专利， 好像这是扑克，所以就是男人的专利？ 才怪，女生也欢迎加入 好，那么为什么……是不是……就好像…… 好像……算了，反正为什么? 只是刚好女生没加入我们罢了 对，我们刚好找不到会玩扑克的女生 拜托，这个借口真烂。 男人们都是这种反应 请问你们谁会玩扑克牌吗? 不会 但你们可以教我们 不 好，现在开始抽牌。 我不需要换牌，对吧? 因为我有一条顺 太好了 恭喜了 菲比，你要几张? 我需要两张 黑桃10和梅花6 不，你不能那样做 等等，我有你要的黑桃 谢谢 不…不能那样 不……没问题，我不需要，我要的是4。 呃,你…… 我们有鲑鱼拼盘和水果色拉 莫妮卡，你在干什么? 我们正在玩牌 所以食物的名称不能超过一个词 比如：薯片，蘸汁，脆饼… 现在,发牌的人…… 知道了 开始来真的吧 大钱出，大钱进 你真的要开始?菲比刚刚扔了一张J， 因为他们看起来好像不开心 can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization) Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer... Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks... Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy... Phoebe: But... I'm ready, so, just deal. Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards. (Time lapse.) Monica: (throws down her cards) Dammit, dammit, dammit! Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying. Joey: About what? Phoebe: About how good your cards were. Joey: Heh... I was bluffing. Phoebe: A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying? Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave) Guys: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle. Rachel: Settle what? Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so... Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game. Rachel: Oh. Right. Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright? Monica: Hell no, we'll pay! Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready. Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch. Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money. Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends. Ross: (pause)...Yeah. Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less. Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times) Joey: (pause)...Yeah? Ross: I'm not a nice guy. [Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.] Ross: Alright boys, let's eat. Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria? Ross: You still on that? Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): \我准备好了，发牌吧 最终提醒，最终提醒 乔伊，3！8！ 8！3！发牌吧 该死，该死，该死！ 我明白了，你们是在骗我 骗你什么? 骗我你们的牌有多好 我在唬你们 什么是唬? 不就是骗的同义字吗? 抱歉，我不能再玩了 我在明天工作前得打好履历表 瑞秋，我们得算帐(定居) 什么定居? 在维吉尼亚的詹姆斯城殖民地 乔治三世把土地给我所以…… （历史上的乔治三世对北美殖民地采取强硬态度， 最终导致美国革命） 赌局。瑞秋，这是赌局，在赌局上你欠我们钱 哦，好 你们知道吗? 这是她们的第一次 别和她们计较钱了 不好，我们会付钱的 莫妮卡，我有另一个答案了 “好呀” 知道吗?我们要再来一次 行，我又有钱花了 这么说你们的组合家俱 都用朋友的钱买来的 是呀 没错，而且我是在“宜家家俱”买的 得自己动手装，不过便宜许多 瑞秋，这是玩扑克。 赌博就是要赢钱， 为使我能赢钱，别人就得输。 如果想和我玩牌，就别指望我手下留情。 因为牌一发出， 然后呢? 我就六亲不认。 两位，有东西吃了。 这是从“我爱瑞秋”比萨屋买的吗? 你们还在取笑我? 别这样嘛，为何学起黑社会说话？ “玩起牌来，我六亲不认。” 你扯太远了 我可不这么认为，因为 “我认为你爱她” Ross: You are way off, pal. Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her. Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time—not any more. I just—I... (Marcel makes a screeching noise in background.) Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc? (Marcel puts a CD in the player.) Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OK—if you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble. (The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.] Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being? Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive. Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha. Monica: What? Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black. Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross. Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident? Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand. Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview! Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where? Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue. Monica: Oh, Rachel! Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home. Monica: Well, what's the job? Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living! (Knock on door.) Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi! Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead? Rachel: No. Monica: I don't think so. Rachel: Why? Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car. Monica: What? Rachel: Oh my God! Monica: Really? Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings. Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it) Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down. Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel... Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it. [Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.] Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else? 不，或许我曾对她有意思， 不过现在早已没有感觉了 我…马修你碰那CD碟干吗? 不能再放上去，马修 如果你再按“播放”，我就要给你好看 你知道罗斯那混蛋有多烂吗? 我知道，他实在太好强了。 怎么了? 喂，凯蒂，我是莫妮卡，你是黑人。 拜托 我没像罗斯那么烂 我不这么认为，“猜字”游戏那件事呢? 我不是故意的。 我在做手势时盘子不小心脱手了。 我有面试通知了！我有面试通知了！ 真的？哪里的？ 第五大道萨克斯 瑞秋 瑞秋，这就像是旗舰在叫你归队 是什么工作? 采购助理，我要靠购物…… 来谋生了 听着，是艾莉丝姑姑。 她从五岁起便开始玩牌 她说的每个字我们都得牢记在心 东尼?蓝道（著名的演员）死了? 我想没有吧。 为什么这么问？ 现在可能已经死了，因为我开车撞到他了。 天啊……真的吗？ 不，唬你们的，第一课 告诉你们，玩牌听到的每个字都是狗屁 不错的耳环。 谢…… 坐吧，各位 艾莉丝姑姑，这位是菲比，她叫瑞秋 我的车停在计时器前， 开始吧。 罗斯，我们能听点别的吗? 好吧 我今晚可要倒大楣了 嗨 嗨 猜猜看怎么样，快猜猜看，猜一猜！ 第五个牙医也终于屈服了？ 他们现在都推荐Trident香口胶了？ （香口胶广告：4/5的牙医推荐Trident） 不，是面试，她喜欢我 我们谈了两个半小时 我们对服饰的品味一致， Ross: Alright. (Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.) Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight. (Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.) Rachel: Hi! Ross: Hey. Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what! Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident? Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, and—oh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well! All: That's great! That's wonderful! Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story... Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker. Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand. Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary? (The guys all duck under the table.) Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies? Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should. Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those? Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go. Ross: Alright. Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement) Commercial Break [Scene: Ross's Apartment, continued from earlier.] Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones. Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game. Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed. Joey: What? Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it. Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie. Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen... Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money) Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever. Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there ready for another poker game.] Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing. 我以前还和她的表妹一起去过露营 这工作简直是太棒了。 我可以胜任，我能办到。 太好了…… 然后她告诉我最好笑的事 很好，你讲时我们一定会笑的。 玩牌吧 各位听好，我们谈过此事， 如果你想不玩我们完全了解 对，我们可以玩别的 像“猜字”之类的 真好笑 我们想再给扑克牌一次机会 是不是，小姐们? 对，我们应该 瑞秋，需要我来洗牌吗? 不用了，我想自己试试 来吧 菲比输7块5，莫妮卡输10块，瑞秋输……15大元 谢谢教我们“斜眼玛丽”。 我们自己玩的时候也可以用， 这是我的7块5， 你得知道这钱已受到诅咒 什么? 我已对它下咒 花这些钱的人会倒大楣 无所谓，我要了。我反正够倒楣的了。 这样我才能看场电影喘口气 才刚离开“格林”扑克牌机就欠15块 男生都这副德行 我是大男人，我有“小弟弟”， 我得赢钱增加力量以征服女人 知道吗?还没结束 我们会再找你们玩 而且我们会赢你们会输 你们会求饶，我们会大笑 我们会赢走你们的每一分钱 你们会永远恨死自己 我们的意见一致，莫妮卡 现在可以交出钱来吗? 如此我们就不必正式玩了 不，我倒要看看谁笑到最后，猴子男 聊完了没?可以开始玩真的没? 你们看，独眼杰克（J）到处跟踪我 好，玩真的 不好意思，你要上哪儿去? 浴室 你想上厕所还是玩牌? 我想上厕所

本文来源：https://www.bwwdw.com/article/c7ph.html