The Differences of Family Values between Chinese and western countries

姓名：陈媛媛 班级：英语1303 学号：2013312200709 Comparison and contrast:

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The Differences of Family Values between Chinese and Western Countries

In some degree, family values in a country can be considered as a reflection of the social values in that country，about which we know more can contribute more to our deep understanding of different cultures.

The following essay will specifically illustrate the differences of family values between the East and West by using the examples of traditional Chinese family and typical western families.

One obvious difference of Chinese and western family values can be found in their different family structures. In modern society, generally, family structures can be divided into two types-nuclear family and extended family. In China, undoubtedly, the number of extended family is much higher than that in western countries. Even three generations living under the same roof is still common in rural China, which is extremely rare in the West no matter it is in rural areas or urban areas, however. In fact, this difference in family structure actually shows that Chinese have a stronger sense of “family” community than westerners who apparently emphasize more on individuality.

Besides the difference in family structures, we can also see clearly that family values differ between the East and the West through differences of family members’ status in different countries. In traditional Chinese family, there is a distinct hierarchy which has lasted for more than thousands of years. Chinese children are told to follow seniority rules or they may be considered as impolite even underbred. This kind of rules also has some impacts on Chinese family equality. With regard to most Chinese children, privacy seems to be a conception out of their world. Checking children’s mails or dairies behind their children’s back is a matter of acquiescent practice of Chinese parents, according to whose saying, it is better for parents to reach kid’s inner heart and ferret out their mistakes timely in their “dangerous and critical” adolescent

period. On the opposite side, western families attach great importance to freedom and equality among family members. In an ordinary western family, everyone is considered to be an independent person, having respective rights and obligations as well as enjoying the equality at the same time. It is very common that western people can address directly the elders by his or her names in a family. And here I think we don’t need to mention the widely-known example that western parents always ask “May I come in?” before they want to come into their children’s bedroom which show western parents’ full respect to children’s privacy.

The essential difference of the Chinese and western family concerning family is also on full display throughout the distinct relationship of family members. In modern China, the relationship of Chinese family members is more like complementary rather than unilateral dependency in a conventional view. “Raise children to provide against old age” is exactly the best demonstration of the complementary relationship between Chinese families. Comparing with western children, Chinese children have clear disadvantages when it comes to independence. Most children have been accustomed to relying on their parents or other family members like brothers or sisters when facing troubles or problems in the process of their growing up. Even when they reach adulthood, it is also common that those who are on a high social status or own more power in society should try to pull strings to help their family members in their career, which is called “family politics or family welfare’’ or we say the game about “competition of family background.” From the perspective of the previous generation, the parents also have a high expectation of their children looking after their parents once they can’t look after themselves. Unlike Chinese family, the relationship of western families can be defined as “relatively independent or divided”. Kids in western family are taught to be independent since they are in a very young age. It is very common that a child will move away from their parents as soon as they can support themselves on their own. In the same way, in the West , once children are on their own , it will stay that way and parent have to accept a future where they stay on their own in most cases as well.

On the whole, apparently, China and western countries have various differences

in terms of family values. It is impossible as well as unnecessary to completely present all the differences here. What we really need to focus is that there is no absolute good or bad line of different cultures such as the different family values we discussed above. And what really matters to us is to respect and understand culture differences and remove cultural discrimination finally.

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