外语专业从电影《喜宴》看中西婚姻 观的差异大学本科毕业论文

太原科技大学

毕 业 设 计（论 文）

设计(论文)题目：从电影《喜宴》看中西婚姻

观的差异

Different Marital Views Between China and

the West Reflected in Film XiYan

姓 名___ _张帆______ 学院（系）_外国语学院__ 专 业___英语________ 年 级_大学四年级____ 指导教师__李丽丽老师___

2015年 5 月 1 日

Different Marital Views Between China and the West

Reflected in Film XiYan

ZhangFan

A thesis submitted to school of Foreign Language in partial

fulfillment of the requirement for the degree of Bachelor of Arts

Under the supervision of

Lecturer LiLili

Taiyuan University of Science and Technology

June 2015

Acknowledgements

Foremost among those to whom I remain deeply indebted is my supervisor, Lilili, without whose inspiring instructions, kind support and constant encouragement this paper would have been impossible. I thank her for her respectable strict attitude towards study, which deeply impressed me during the supervision of this paper and will go on influencing me in my future study, work and life. I especially appreciate her assistance in my selection of the topic of the thesis, sorting of thoughts, searching for references and revising my thesis.

I thank the teachers in the Foreign Languages Department for their instruction and devotion, which made my staying here fruitful and rewarding. My thanks also goes to all the authors, editors and contributors of the reference articles, books and websites cited in my thesis, without whose efforts this thesis wouldn’t be complete.

And at this moment, I want to thank my parents who always provide me encouragement all these years. I am deeply indebted to them for their whole-hearted support during my writing this paper.

Contents

Abstract 摘要

1. Introduction

2 . Different Marital Views Between China and the West Reflected in XiYan

2.1 Different Purpose of Getting Married

2.2 Different Relationship between Husband and Wife in Marriage 2.3 Different Wedding Ceremony

3. The Factors Contributing to Those Differences

3.1 Values

3.2 Cultural patterns

3.3 Individualism versus Collectivism 3.4 Religion

3.5 Economic Way and Living Environment

4 . Inspirations for Cross-cultural Communication 4.1 Understanding Cultural Differences

4.2 Respecting the Difference in Custom 4.3 Integrating with Cultural Advantage

5 Conclusion 6 References

Abstract:

The film XiYan was shot by Li An in 1993, describing the Chinese deal with the marital problems with their own view of marriage. Based on the subtitles in the film, this paper compares the different material views between Chinese and the Western people from the perspective of purpose of getting married, the relationship between husband and wife and wedding ceremony and analyzes the factors contributing to the differences, in the hope of offering some suggestions for the effective cross-cultural communication.

Key words: XiYan; Marriage; Differences; Reasons; Inspirations

摘 要：

《喜宴》是由李安在1993年导演的影片，讲述了中国人用特有的婚姻观念来处理婚姻问题的故事。文章以电影《喜宴》的字幕及旁白为文本，从结婚目的，夫妻间关系及婚礼仪式几个方面来论述中国与西方在对待婚姻的问题上的不同。并阐述了导致这些差异的原因。希望能够为实现不同文化背景下的有效交流提供借鉴。

关键词：《喜宴》；婚姻观；差异；原因；启示

1． Introduction

The film XiYan is directed by Li An in 1993. It’s popular in that year. In this film, Chinese people view the issue of gay with their unique perspective. Different attitudes to marriage between China and the West are reflected vividly and incisively in this film. There are several characters in this film. They have different opinions about marriage and leave a deep impression on us. In the film, the hero’s father is a traditional Chinese man. In his view, his son must choose a girl to get married for the whole family. The leading role is GaoWeitong, he is not only a successful man but also a gay. His boyfriend is Simon, therefore, he always look for excuses to push blind date. To traditional Chinese culture, gay is not accepted by people including his parents. That puzzles him. On the one hand, he should shoulder the son’s responsibility; On the other hand, he is afraid that his parents couldn’t accept the fact. (Liu,1998). In this film, Weitong’s legitimate wife is WeiWei. She has an opposite view to marriage, because she began to learn drawing in America when she was a young girl and influenced by Western culture. She thinks homosexual is normal. Firstly, she can accept homosexual. What’s more, she would like to marry with GaoWeitong for getting green card. Simon is a gymnasium coach and gay, who pursues the most simple and pure love in the world. The main content is GaoWeitong want to fend off long-distance nagging from his mother agreed to get married with WeiWei. His parents fly over from Taiwan so that they can attend the wedding. Not only do they stay in the lovers’ apartment, but also plan a full-blown wedding banquet to them.

Marriage is also called matrimony or wedlock. It is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between lovers. (Ou,2002)It establishes rights and obligations between lovers and their children. It means that two lovers who have experienced wind and rain step into marriage hand in hand.

Chinese and Western have different attitudes toward marriage.

In China, home is regarded as the safe heaven. A warm family is one’s pursuit.

Most people follow parents’ suggestions for marriage. However, western people think marriage is a personal affair. Marriage is not a moral issue. What’s more, one has the right to choose his/her favorite lover to live together. Once founding the existing marriage is wrong, he/she will choose to leave. In their view, forcing two people to live is cruel. In their eyes, love is simple.

2 . Differences

2.1 Different Purposes of getting married

In the film, GaoWeitong’s mother said, “ It has been long a time before I wrote to you, because my shoulder is aching. Your dad and I are old. You have grown up. When did you get married? ” From the sentence we can easily see that Weitong’s mother is looking forward to seeing her son get married and settle down. “ Your dad came to Taiwan alone. He has only one son. It’s you. This is a traditional Chinese family. The parents expect to look for a perfect wife for Weitong. In China, marriage is part of family responsibility. In ancient time, marriage is the bond of two families based on mutual interests. When Gao’s parents get off the plane, they asked WeiWei, what do you parents do? Weitong said：“Her father is working in hospital and mother is teaching art in the school”. From this dialogue, it’s easy to know that Chinese parents care about girl’s family status. Therefore, most lovers get married on the material basis, like house, car and deposit.

Generally, to man and woman, marriage is just to meet the needs of survival. The purpose of getting married is to look for a reliance in life. With the development of Chinese and Western cultural communication, the purpose of traditional marriage is heavily influenced by the west, people choose lovers for love.

However, in the west, love is the root of marriage. In film, Weitong said:“I love Simon. It’s not easy for gay to live together. Loving is my happiness. If you don’t come, I would live a happy life.” In their opinion, without love, marriage is immoral

and it is a low-quality of love. An American woman once said, marriage is not significant and it is just a kind of form. If the love has disappeared, it’s a stress to them. Therefore, from the investigation, we can absolutely see that true love is the most important factor for getting married to most Americans. It makes no sense to continue marriage without love. The purpose of marriage reflects the differences between Chinese and western Culture.

In the west, love is first. More and more people get married for love. In other words, they would abandon anything for love. To westerners, getting married is to find a long- term partner in the world. They want to look for an opposite sex life partner for a long time so that they can be satisfied in physiological , psychological and social aspect. The individualism is popular in western society. Marriage is just the combination of two individuals. The foundation of marriage is love. Therefore, there is golden and silver wedding. In their opinion, if they don’t love each other, the marriage is immoral and it is a low quality of love. Therefore, the pursuit of true love has became a dream to Americans.

2.2 Different Relationship between Husband and Wife in Marriage

Husband-wife relationship is the most important in marriage. In China, the husband has the right in the decision while the wife is just in a subordinate position. This structure is decided by Chinese culture. Husband is the head of family and bears the main economic responsibility of family life. His wife’s mission is to manage the housework and serves mother-in law. As is known to us, westerners have quite different opinion from us. They think husband and wife are equal and enjoy the same right at home. Both of them can work outside .In other words, they shoulder the responsibility together. (Li, 2004).

2.2.1 Different Roles

In the film, When GaoWeitong’s parents get off the plane, WeiWei carries the

bag and said:“Nice to meet you, uncle Gao and aunt Gao. I’ll help you.” In film, Gao’s mother said:“ It’s a good fortune for you to marry WeiWei. She can cook”. From that we can easily find that Weitong’s family is a typical Chinese family. Feudal ethics with Confucianism is core of the cultural roots husband-wife relationship in Chinese family. In the film, WeiWei is always cook and her mother-in law helps her. We can see that women are in the subordinate status. Most wives still need to depend on their husbands. In home, people always look down on them. They just need woman to take care of children. In the film, WeiWei hope to find a perfect husband like Weitong, who can not only help her pay house rent but also take care of her. To her, she just need to do housework at home.

Therefore, we can see that wife and husband play different roles in home. The husband is in leading position at home while the wife is in supporting role. Most wife taking care of children at home rather than working outside.

In the west, husband and wife are equal in the family. In the film, Simon always cooked and cleaned the room. He also sent presents to Gao’s parents and then invents them to eat in the restaurant. He also gave a telephone to Weitong and said：“Be happy. Look at it, I ‘ll send a present to you”. Westerners believe that husband and wife can be equal partners .They share the family’s responsibility and shoulder task together. It’s common for man to cook in kitchen. They often enjoy the time with wife at home.

2.2.2 Different Social Status

With the increasing development of technology, the gap between man and woman doesn’t seem so absolute as before. Benefiting from reform policy, woman can work outside. In the film, Gao’s father said:“Samon is cooking, I am going to do the wash.” We can see that people’s idea begin to change. In modern Chinese society, women are as important in society as man.

Compared with Chinese families, American couples have more personal space and they put great emphasis on their personal privacy.

In the west, the husband also shares the responsibility of raising kids with the wife. At the end of the film, WeiWei hoped Simon leave and she said: “We can raise the child together, you must leave”. In the west, the husband should bear the responsibility of raising and educating children. In the film, WeiWei’s thought is open, she doesn’t mind raising the child alone. In the west, their thinking is open but not willing to violate the privacy of others. What’s more, they respect lover even avoid interrupting others. In their eye, women are independent financially and she can deal with task by herself. In the family, women get the opportunity to make a financial contribution to the home.

Therefore, in the west, wife and husband all have right to work outside. Women are independent financially and they don’t need to worry about being abandoned by their husbands.

2.3 Different Wedding Ceremony 2.3.1 Different on Focus

In the film, the restaurant boss said “It’s necessary to prepare the feast.” In China, people regard ceremony as an important thing in marriage. They hold the wedding ceremony and all the friends and relatives attending the ceremony. In the film, GaoWeitong’s classmate XiaoLuo said:“GaoWeitong is my classmate and we have been friends for sixteen years, but he didn’t tell me until one week ago.’’ From the film, we can see that Weitong’s parents are sitting on chair and waiting for offering tea. This is Chinese tradition and custom. GaoWeitong’s mother said:“ WeiWei must drink white Lotus seeds soup so that she can give birth to a healthy son . The process is hosted by toastmaster of the ceremony and then the father will give a speech to bless lovers. In the film, Weitong’s father tell them that they should love and respect each other. Only in this way can marriage last forever.

Therefore, Chinese people value more the form of wedding ceremony. They hope that more people can be attend the wedding. All relatives and the new couples play game together. However, westerners don’t value the form. They just hope the wedding ceremony could be quiet and poetic.

2.3.2 Different Color of wedding Dress

Red is the Chinese favorite color. It means luck and happiness. In China, once a girl agrees to marry a boy, the boy’s parents will give the jewelry to the girl. In film, Gao’s mother presents a dress to WeiWei and she is so excited and moved, which shows the boy’s family is serious about marriage. Chinese’s wedding is lively. They hope to have an unforgettable day. China values the ceremony. During the wedding banquet, two lovers will bow to Heaven and Earth, to their parents and to each other, which is called “Three kowtows”. In the film, GaoWeitong and WeiWei bowed to Weitong’s parents. At the end of the wedding, the bride and groom were sent to the bridal chamber, where the friends played some tricks with Weitong and WeiWei and wished them a happy life.

Therefore, the color of wedding dress is different. Chinese dress red while the Westerners dress white.

2.3.3 Differences on music

In Western, their wedding process are romantic, Firstly , minister addressed, then, lover vow each other , thirdly, they exchange rings and hold wedding chant ,finally , they sigh engagement written and declare marriage. Whole wedding ceremony is hold in church , it is a big wedding ceremony. Wedding may not be holded in Western country . In this film, at the first of wedding ,WeiWei and Gao WeiTong declared marriage in church , but Gao’s mother is crying and said :“We are sorry to you and we can’t give you a big Wedding Banquet .”Because China and Western haven’t same

consume, in Westerner’s eye , they don’t care of others but to pay more attention to love . In west, the bride wear white clothes and hold a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She will look happy and satisfied. Church wedding is the most significant part of wedding .At first, the bride’s father will hand his daughter to the groom when the music starts, and then the husband will take the bride . The pastor will ask bride and groom if they could promise love each other forever. They will make a lifetime commitment and then people will bless them .( E.A and C.R)

In ceremony, the music is quite different , beating drums and blowing trumpets in China while playing an romantic music in West.

3 The Factors Contributing to Those Differences

There exist many differences in the concept of marriage in China and America, which is underlined by the cultural differences between these two nations, and such differences are mainly reflected in values, cultural patterns, individualism and collectivism, religion and historical background. ( Tan, 1997 )

3.1 Differences in Values

Values are the core in the intercultural communication. (Tan,1999)Values are intangible. People speak of the same values in marriage but seldom express what their values are. The word value comes from the Latin valere, which means “to be worth”. Values tell us what is good, what is bad, what is right, what is wrong, what is true, what is false and how we will behave and evaluate behavior.

Values are taught at home, often unconsciously, and reinforced by society. So we can say that values are generally culturally determined. When values are once formed, they will instruct people’s behavior, attitude, and faith. People of different cultures, while having he same fundamental needs, like eating and sleeping, may have not only quite different wants like social and psychological but also quite different ways of perceiving their needs. Both are convinced of the rightness of their ways,

because they are behaving instinctively, naturally and properly according to their cultural logic. There is a potential for conflict because what is natural for one is not always natural for the other. Their divergence is further complicated by the fact that many of their behavior patterns are based on unconscious values and cultural assumptions about how life should be lived.

3.2 Differences in Cultural Patterns

Culture is a critical issue in intercultural communication. We have to do the cultural comparison when we are engaging in the intercultural communication study. Chinese culture is a typical Eastern culture. There are various definitions on ‘culture’ both at home and abroad. Larry, Richard and Lisa in their book Communication between Cultures give their definition: “We define culture as the deposit of knowledge, experience, beliefs, values, actions, attitudes, meanings, hierarchies, religion, notions of time, roles, spatial relations, concepts of the universe, and artifacts acquired by a group of people in the course of generations through individual and group striving”. In the book of Introducing Cultural Studies, Baldwin and the coauthors present their definition on culture: “Outside the natural sciences, the term ‘culture’ is chiefly used in three relatively distinct senses to refer to: the arts and artistic activity; the learned, primarily symbolic features of a particular way of life; and a process of development”. Cultures are extremely complex and consist of numerous interrelated cultural orientations, including values, knowledge, experience, attitudes, norms, and material aspects.

Cultural patterns are a term that helps us to talk about these orientations collectively. It helps us to understand a society culture on the whole and enables us to make comparisions between different cultures. People in different parts of the world, especially those in the East and those in the West do differ profoundly in their cultural patterns because they have different culture, social customs, economy, language, geography, etc.

3.3 Individualism versus Collectivism

Individualism is the most important value orientation in the West. Broadly speaking, individualism refers to the doctrine, spelled out in detail by the

seventeenth-century English philosopher John Locke, that each individual is unique, special, completely different from all other individuals, and the basic unit of nature. American people advocate individualism, they believe that everyone is unique; they have the right to pursuit freedom and happniess. In a group, American people will pay great attention to the spirit of teamwork, but they still need to maintain themselves as a separate individual and at the same time contain other people’s differences. Love is a kind of extremely romantic thing, American people have the courage to pursuit their own happniess but they will not give up their own independent personality and other pursuits just because of love. Marriage is usually referring to two person, husband and wife, and has nothing to do with other people like their relatives and friends. American people will not give up the independence of love for a certain group, such as a family.

Collectivism is characterized by a social framework that distinguishes between in-groups and out-groups. People count on their in-group such as families, relatives or affiliations to look after them, and they believe they owe loyalty to the group. H.C.Triandis gives us a summary of this situation: “Collectivism means greater emphasis on the views, needs, and goals of the in-group rather than oneself; social norms and duty defined by the in-group rather than behavior to get pleasure; beliefs shared with the in-group rather than beliefs that distinguish self from in-group; great readiness to cooperate with in-group members”. Chinese people will receive a kind of education when they are just little children, which is the collectivism spirit. Under this kind of education, child is taught that all matters should take the collective benefit as first, and you have to learn to care for and get along well with others. Chinese tend to be more aware of the connections they have as members of their social groups. In communication behavior, Chinese are likely to show traits such as indirectness, explicitness, saving face, concern for others, group cooperation, group decision-making, etc. Marriage is under the great influence of collectivism in China, under the premise of the interests of the family, love and personality may have to make concessions. When a marriage relationship has broken up actually, the couples maybe will maintain the relationship reluctantly just because they have to consider the

family interest, their child’s future and parents’ feelings. Because Chinese couples cencern too much for other things, like the families and the other people, they will easily ignore their own feelings.

3.4 Differences in Religion

Different religious beliefs can be a cause of conflict in marriage, not only because the partners may not be in agreement on where and how to worship as a family, but because so much of what people do and believe, their attitudes about what is right and wrong, and their philosophy of life stem from their religious background.

In any marriage, problems can arise when religious beliefs differ or when one partner’s behavior conflicts with the other’s beliefs. Mutual respect for each other’s religion is a must for a compatible marriage, but often it is not enough.

For those couples who encounter religious conflict there are three possibilities: one partner converts to the religion of the other; both partners keep their own faith and try not to interfere in the practices or beliefs of the other; or both partners drift away from their own religion and either join a third religion or refrain from adhering to any formal religion at all. In many cases both of the spouses have already distanced themselves from their cultural heritage, and religious practice is not an issue.

In Chinese mainland most people don’t have any religious belief, but in America, many people are Christians. So in Sino-American intercultural marriages, the religion issue may cause many conflicts. Mrs. He marries an American husband, a pious Christian. Her husband spends a lot of time going to church, and advises her to join Christianity, but she think going to church just is wasting time. So they have quarrelled with each other on this issue for many times. Now the religion issue has become a messy factor influencing their marriage.

3.5 Differences in Economic Way and Living Environment

Chinese culture is rooted in the foundation of agriculture society. In the agriculture economies, physically robust men became the main body of the labor force. The economic base determined the status of men and women in the family. A man was the pillar of a family, women’s physical labor was dispensable, and could be

ignored, and with the passage of time, there had formed a masculine worship phenomenon. Feudal peasant economy has existed for thousands of years in China, and its idea still affects people’s behavior for generations, untill now, male still occupys the dominant position in the family. Compared with the Chinese nation with a history of more than 5000 years, American people just completed the journey of 200 years of history, so it’s no wonder that these two countries have quite different personalities. America has a short history without the influence of feudal ideas and because it implemented the Industrial Revolution in the early time, the gap of economy status between male and female is not so wide unlike China.

As for the geographical environment, China was situated in the mainland region; the closed geographical feature shaped a closed mind for those people who lived there. And coupled with the rulers’ despotic and obscurant policy, the Confucianist thought outshined than others and the government and the folk were rarely communicating with the western countries. American’s eastern and western close to the ocean; the convenient marine transportation provided the condition to exchange with other countries in the early time. And, as a young country, America has strong independence and pioneering, its mainstream thinking is developing rapidly in the collision of various ideological.

4. Inspirations for Cross-cultural Communication

4.1 Understanding Cultural Differences

In the cross-cultural, cultural differences of the audiences must be fully understood and respected by cautious application of language. (E.A and C.R, 1969). Different countries have different cultures and the most obvious cultural differences between China and western countries lies in the values that can be reflected in the culture. Since the advertising language of commodity derives from different cultural environment and its objects are living and growing up in the same or different cultural environment, so their ideology is bound to be influenced by different cultural environment.

McDonald’s usually launch the advertisements specially made for Spring Festival broadcasted during the Spring Festival and achieve widespread acclaim. McDonald’s fully understand that Chinese consumers value the traditional Chinese Spring Festival, and blend the family affection, reunion and happiness valued by Chinese consumers into its advertising so as to make its advertising more consistent with Chinese consumer psychology and culture.

As we all know, in the west, people will emphasize their individualism. However, people in China have been accustomed to collectivism. People in China often give a high priority of collectivism. They often take the group, family, community, society and country .

And there is difference between Chinese and westerners. Relatively speaking, Chinese people are conservative with traditional values, while westerners are open with unconventional ideas. The differences between the ideas and values of the Chinese and westerners are highlighted by their criteria on the “sex” and their openness to sexual concept. In Chinese culture and ethical values, “sex” is an implicit subject, while advertisers in the West believe the “sexual elements” in advertisements can well attract people, and “sex” is still one of the essential psychological needs of advertisements in the West. (Peter, 2002).

In the cross-cultural advertising, cultural differences of the audiences must be fully understood and respected by Cultural differences. Every culture has its own values, morals, customs and traditions and they should be respected as such and not to be ridiculed just because another culture has different values and beliefs. (Qian, 2001).

4.2 Respecting Different in Customs

Due to different values and traditional customs, different nation has different customs. As we know, the culture of food and tableware in the West is a little different from that in China. Asian often use chopsticks as their main tableware, whereas the westerners often use forks and spoons as their main tableware. And in any country, there are values and customs that surround what is not when dining or lunching

whether it is in anywhere .Learning something about daily culture will not only help you like a native, but will also make those around you more comfortable, instead of your interesting eating habits.

Due to different regions and cultural backgrounds, they formed their own unique cultural. As we know, the red color in China often represents happiness, joyfulness, luckiness and prosperity in many situations, whereas it means disaster, bloody and bad luck in the eyes of westerners. There is an example about culture difference. We can draw a conclusion that before advertisers create, all of companies should obtain a full knowledge of traditional customs and its taboos in the target countries, so that it can avoid awkwardness before the customers. With a rapid development of economics around the world, people become more and more intimate with each other.

Because of different religious beliefs and custom, different countries hold different attitudes towards different advertising expression and different commodities. Custom is formed within an ethnic group or country for a long historical period and contains ehavior, tendency and social custom which can’t be easily changed in a short time. Different custom of different countries results in different receiving psychology in terms of advertising language. The creative use skills of advertising language, humor, etc., must be consistent with national custom of the audience so as to result in a positive understanding and association, otherwise they will lose their effectiveness. So every company should respect different customs.

4.3 Accepting Different Customs

Different people have different dietary habits. So McDonald’s have different menus in different countries. It provides champagne in France, whiskey in the UK, beer in Germany, fruit shakes Singapore and Malaysia and black tea in China. Such principle of integrating with two cultural advantages is equally important in cross-cultural advertising communication.

On the one hand, cross-cultural advertising communication shall have the characteristics of the national culture so as to attract the audience, on the other hand, it

shall adapt to the culture of the audience so as to be accepted by them. At the same time, communication, understanding and expression patterns formed in different cultural contexts are different.

5 Conclusion

The film Xi Yan tells us the different attitudes towards marriage between China and Western. Above all, there are many differences between Chinese and Western’s culture, especially in marriage. Different cultures lead to these differences. Understanding the differences is beneficial us to communicate with foreigners. What’s more, it improves cross-cultural communication and so on . At the end of the film, GaoWeiTong’s father rising his hands up means that he has agree to their marriage.The film has a happy ending . To our happiness, they all understand each other. Simon chooses to stay and WeiWei decides to give birth to the baby. Besides, WeiTong chooses to live with them . Finally, they live together . In the film, WeiWei says: “ Simon, you must stay and be the baby’s father .’’ The happy ending moves us to tear. It tells us that love is the most important thing in marriage and understanding and forgiving are significant too. With the development of society and the exchange and integration of culture, people’s understanding of the marriage is undergoing some minor changes. Interculture marriage is becoming more and more popular and communication is increasingly frequent, (E.A, 2001) faced with change and difference , so we must understand each other and respect each other . It is quite important and it improves our society. Only in this way can we achieve the best effect of communication. Marriage is a life event. Marriage cultures of all ethnic groups differ in thousands of ways: they have different cultural connotations and they have different habits and customs. ( Peter,1998)

But no matter in what place, the inherent meaning is the same. Therefore, We should build trust and respect. In this way, marriage can last forever. In addition, we must understand the behavior of westerners and create a good environment to communicate with each other . I believe that our country can make a great progress.

Love is the foundation of marriage, and marriage should be maintained and developed by friendship, family, responsibilities and obligations, such as the tolerance in Chinese culture. if there is no love, marriage can not be warm and happy. In the film , GaoWeitong’s father says to Simon that “ This is for you.” Simon is surprised and says : “ You have known everything .” Weitong’s father says: “ If I said everything , this home will separate and I can’t have a grandson too.” From the dialogue , we can see that the father has forgiven everything . In the process of communication, to fully understand each other and respect each other’ s customs can achieve the best communication. Today, China and America’s communication is increasingly frequent, learning about the differences in Chinese and American culture has great significance to improve the skills of cross-cultural communication. (Zhou,1987).

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