A级作文

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高职高专英语应用能力考试写作专项辅导

? 大纲对A级考试写作测试的要求:

高职高专英语教学中写作教学的目的是培养学生在涉外的日常活动和业务联系嘲行简单的局面交流。《高等学校英语应用能力考试大纲》对A级考试中写作的要求是:学生能就一般性题材,在25分钟内写出80-100词的命题作文,正确使用所学的词组和句型,正确使用标点符号,句子结构完整,意思清楚且符合逻辑,句与句之间过渡自然,连续性强,格式符合文体要求。 ? A级考试写作测试的评分标准

从格式、语言和表达三方面衡量,按综合方式评分,只给一个分数。分数可分为5个档次,即:

1.14分:格式正确;内容完整,表达清楚;语言上仅有很少的小错误。

2.11分:格式基本正确;内容比较完整,表达比较清楚;有一些语言错误,有个别句子结构上的错误。

3.8分:格式基本正确;内容总体完整,表达勉强可以理解;有较多的语言错误,包括少量严重错误。

4.5分:格式勉强符合文体;内容不完整,但没有离题;表达上有较大困难,语言有大量错误,有一些是严重错误。

5.2分:格式不正确;内容表达不清楚;语言支离破碎,有个别句子正确。 ? A级考试写作常考文体

以下是2000年到2009年所有考过的作文题目: 年份 文体 2000.12 征稿启事 2001.6 通知(公司庆祝) 2001.12 投诉信 2002.6 商务信函(致歉信) 2002.12 招聘广告 2003.6 通知(校园活动) 2003.12 电子邮件(预订房间) 2004.6 征稿启事 2005.1 询价信与报价信 2005.6 商务信函(催款信) 2005.12 邀请信 2006.6 公司内部事务信函 2006.12 商务信函(建立业务关系) 2007.6 内部通知/备忘录 2007.12 申请信(申请做奥运会志愿者) 2008.6 商务信函(通知对方产品价格上涨) 2008.12 投诉信 2009.6 询问信函(询问旅游信息) 2009.12 询价信

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综观以上历年A级写作试题,主要考察的文体有书信、启事、通知、广告、备忘录等。其中书信以商业信函为主,近年来也有考过电子邮件。启事通知主要考查与校园生活有关的内容。广告以招聘广告为主。以下就对各种文体分别进行介绍。 一. 书信体 1.信的结构及格式:

The Three Gorges College of Applied Technology 写信人的地址 147 Shazhong Road, Shapingba, Chongqing 400044 (可有可无)Tel: 023-68101185 Fax 023-68104347 May 6th,2003 写信日期 (空一行)

Professor John Smith Department of Human Resources Management 收信人的地址 (写地址之前先Illinois State University 写收信人的职称Fort Collins, IL 80523-1774 和姓名) U.S.A

对收信人的称呼 Dear Professor Smith, On behalf of The Three Gorges College of Applied Technology, I would be very pleased to invite you to attend and chair a session during the upcoming “International Symposium on Human Resources Management” to be held in Chongqing, China, from Oct.12-Oct.15, 2003.

I sincerely hope you will be able to accept our invitation. As a famous scholar in this field and well-known both in the United States and in China, your participation will be among the highlights of the symposium.

If you can accept the invitation, please let us know as soon as possible so that we can prepare the final program. Sincerely yours, 正文 Liu Dong 署名 Conference Coordinator

注意:一般情况下,如果题目中没有特殊要求,不必写出写信人和收信人的地址,但必须在右上角写写信日期。如下表: 写信日期 对收信人的称谓, 正文 署名

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对收信人的称呼需注意以下几点:

1.对没有头衔的男性一般称呼Mr.+姓氏。如果同时称呼多个男性,用Mr.的复数形式Messrs.+姓氏。

2.对没有头衔的女性一般称呼Mrs.或Miss+姓氏. 同时称呼多个女性可用Mmes.。

3.对外公函中对收信人的称呼,可用Gentleman /Gentlemen, Dear Sir(s), Madam/Mesdames。

4.对有头衔的人,可以直接用头衔加姓氏或头衔加全名。

结尾的署名必须得用“Sincerely yours, ”的字样。类似的说法还有:“Yours, Yours truly, Yours faithfully, Yours sincerely”等。

注意:如果信件有附件,应在左下角注明Encl.或Enc.( 如:Enc: Catalogue)。如果附件不止一个,则应写出2(或3,4,5等)Encs. 如果要补叙正文中遗漏的话,在左下角注明P.S.。 2.信件开头常用语:

? I am writing to you to ask…

我写信是要问你…

? Thank you for your letter on April10th.

感谢你四月十号的来信。

? In reply to your letter on March 4th, I’d like to tell you…

应你三月四号来信的要求,我相告诉你… ? I’d like to apply for…

我想申请…

? I learn from your letter that…

从你的信中得知…

? I am glad / sorry to hear that…

我听说…感到很高兴/难过。 3.信末常用语:

? Looking forward to your early reply.

盼望尽快收到您的来信。 ? Hoping to hear from you soon.

希望能很快收到您的回复。

? I will be appreciated if you can reply me as soon as possible.

如果您可以忙回复我,我会特别感激的。 ? Best wishes to you.

给您送上我最美好的祝福。 ? Wish you a great success in…

祝福您在…方面取得成功。 ? Please contact me soon.

请尽快联系我。

信件根据其用途又可分为邀请信及回函、求职信、申请信、推荐信、投诉信、建立业务关系的信函及回函、询价信及回函、感谢信、祝贺信、慰问信等,下面一一进行介绍:

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邀请信及回函

邀请信在各种社交活动中应用广泛,用于邀请对方参加某一会议或活动。回函即对邀请信的回复,或接受或拒绝。不管是接受还是拒绝都应该表示感谢,如果接受邀请,就该提一下你是多么盼望去参加;如果你不得已需要谢绝邀请,就应该以适当的理由表示歉意。

邀请信范文: Dear Sirs,

This is to advise that we are going to hold an Export Commodities Fair in Shanghai from May 1st to May 15th, 2005. A great variety of samples, newly designed by our manufactuers, will be on exhibition. We take pleasure in inviting you to come to the fair. Please fax the date of your arrival, enabling us to makethe necessary preparations.

Yours faithfully, Chen Ming

邀请信回函范文: 范文1(谢绝)

January 22, 2008

Dear Mr. Brown,

Thank you very much for your kindness in asking us to attend your opening ceremony, but we regret very much that we will not be able to go there as we already have an important previous engagement that day.

We send our congratulations and best wishes to you and will be together with you in spirit on this happy event.

Sincerely,

Mark 范文2:(接受)

January 25th, 2003

Dear Mrs. Marks,

Thank you for inviting me to have dinner and to see the play Hamlet On Monday evening, February 10th. I shall be delighted to accept your invitation. I know that Hamlet is a wonderful play. I am looking forward to the performance.

Sincerely yours

Liu Ying

邀请信及回函范文: Dear Miss Smith,

My brother Peter will be staying with us for a few days during the Christmas holidays and my wife and I have planned a family dinner for him next Saturday evening at seven o’clock so that he can meet some of our friends. We should be delighted if you could join us. I hope you will let me know that you can come.

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Yours sincerely,

Hillton

对上述邀请表示接受的回信 Dear Mr. Hillton,

Thank you for your kind invitation to the dinner party which you and Mrs. Hillton will hold for your brother at seven o’clock p.m. I shall be very happy to come, and look forward with pleasure to meeting your brother.

Yours sincerely,

Smith

对上述邀请表示拒绝的回信 Dear Mr. Hillton,

We are so sorry that we cannot go to the dinner party which you and Mrs. Hillton will hold for your brother at seven o’clock p.m.. Unfortunately I have already made an appointment for that evening.

I do appreciate your kind invitation and hope we shall have the opportunity to say yes at some future time.

Very sincerely, Jacob North

邀请信常用套句:

1. We take pleasures in inviting you to…

我们很高兴邀请你…

2. We would be very happy if you could come to…

如果你能…我们会非常高兴。

3. We hope that you will be able to come to…

我们希望你能来…

4. We would be very glad if you could be with us.

如果你能和我们在一起,我们会非常高兴。 5. I’m writing to invite you to…

我写信是要邀请您…

6. We would like to know if you could come to…

我们想知道您是否能来…

7. We are looking forward to your coming with great pleasure.

我们期待着您的到来。 邀请信回函常用套句:

1. Mr. and Mrs. … accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. …’s invitation to…(场合) on

the… of…(日期和时刻), at …(地点)

…先生和夫人非常愿意接受…先生和夫人…月…日…点钟在…的…邀请。 2. It was very kind of you to invite me to…(感谢邀请), but unfortunately, I can’t

come (表示遗憾) because … arranged earlier. (原因)

你真是太好了,邀请我去…但是很抱歉,我因为之前安排好的…不能前去。 3. I can’t tell you how sorry I am not to be able to accept your invitation to…(表示

抱歉). I’m going…(原因). Thank you all the same. (感谢)

我特别抱歉不能接受您去…的邀请。我得去...无论如何,还是要感谢您的邀请。

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练习:

1.假设你是李华,写信给史密斯先生。内容是:如他能够出席为中国代表团而举行的招待会,你将感到十分荣幸。招待会定于10月4日(星期二)在市政厅举行。6点钟准时举行鸡尾酒会, 随之在8点钟举行正式的晚宴。你期待着他的光临。请提前通知他能否出席。

代表团:delegation 招待会:reception 市政厅:city hall 鸡尾会:cocktail 参考范文:

Dear Mr. Smith,

It would give me great pleasure to have your presence at a reception in honor of the Chinese delegation.

The reception will be held in the City Hall, on Tuesday, October the fourth. Cocktails will be served promptly at six. After it, there will be the dinner at 8.

I sincerely hope you can attend. Let me know if you can come.

Sincerely yours

Lihua

注意:该篇习作中学生最易出错的地方就是“招待会定于10月4日(星期二)在市政厅举行。6点钟准时举行鸡尾酒会, 随之在8点钟举行正式的晚宴。”学生或是不知道该用被动,或是将时间作了主语。 学生习作:

Dear Smith,①

I’m Lihua.② I take pleasures in inviting you to the reception that hold③ to④ the Chinese Delegation. The reception will hold⑤ on 4th October in the City Hall⑥ and six o’clock will hold the cocktails on time ⑦. And then the formal party at eight o’clock.⑧

I’m looking forward to your coming.

Yours faithfully, Lihua 评析:

此篇习作基本完成任务了写作任务,交代了邀请对方参加的活动以及活动的时间和地点,并表达了希望对方能够应邀的愿望。但信函最后中遗漏了一个信息,即“请提前通知他能否出席”, 结尾处补充上“Please let us know if you can come.”

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A级写作从某种程度上讲有点类似于翻译,即将所给中文信息按英文应用文的体例和篇章结构翻译为一篇英语作文,因此一定要保证信息的完整,不可遗漏,是要求中规定的写作内容,必须在结尾处出现。此外,该篇习作中还出现了一个格式错误和多次语法错误:

①姓氏前应该有“先生”或“小姐”等称呼。改为“Dear Mr. Smith,” ②信的正文部分不应出现自我介绍,因为落款就能说明写信人的情况。删除此句。 ③招待会是“将要被举行”,谓语动词“hold”应用其将来时的被动语态。把 “that hold” 改为 “that will be held”.

④ “为中国代表团而举行”这句的翻译,应该用词组 “in honor of”(为对……表示敬意),不能用介词 “to”。将 “to”改为 “in honor of”。 ⑤招待会是“将要被举行”,应用被动语态。把 “will hold”改成 “will be held”。 ⑥“招待会定于10月4日(星期二)在市政厅举行”这句的翻译应该按照地点在前,时间在后的顺序,而时间应该遵循“小时,星期,日期,年份”的顺序,改为: “in the City Hall on Tuesday, October. 4.”

⑦从这一句开始,交代招待会的具体安排,应该另起一句。“6点钟准时举行鸡尾酒会”和“在8点钟举行正式的晚宴”这两项内容应该写在一个句子中,显得一目了然。另外,此句中,将时间作了整个句子的主语,是一个典型的中国式英语翻译,应该改为 “The cocktails will be served / held at six o’clock”。

⑧ 邀请信是正式文体,句子成分不能省略,这句中被省略的谓语应该补充上。另外 “And”改为and”,和上句衔接上,成为一个并列句,晚宴用 “dinner”即可。改为“and then the dinner will be given at eight o’clock.” 修改过的习作:

Sep. 28, 2008 Dear Mr. Smith,

I take pleasures in inviting you to the reception to be hold in honor of the Chinese Delegation. The reception will be held in the City Hall on Tuesday, October. 4. The cocktails will be served at six o’clock and then the dinner will be given at eight o’clock.

I’m looking forward to your coming. Please let us know if you can come Yours faithfully, Lihua

2. 假定你是刘力,给王海教授写一封信。内容是,你感到非常荣幸,王海教授邀请你参加2008年3月4日星期四召开的研讨会(symposium),但是很遗憾,你因为将要去之前已经安排好的在上海举行的会议,不能前来,深表歉意,希望以后有机会再去拜访教授。 参考范文:

Dear Professor Wang,

I am most grateful to you for inviting me to take part in the symposium which will be held on Thursday, March 4th, 2008. Regretfully, I am unable to come because during that time I have to attend a meeting in Shanghai that has been arranged earlier. I really feel sorry for that. It is my sincere wish that I would have another opportunity

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to pay you a visit in the near future.

Sincerely yours,

Liuli

注意:该篇习作中学生最易出错的地方是“希望以后有机会再去拜访教授”。学生对这句话的结构完全按中文顺序来处理,导致主语缺失。另外“拜访”的英文表达也不准确。 学生习作:

March.2, 2008 Dear Professor Wang,

It is very kind of you to invite me to your① symposium②, but I regret very much that I will not be able to go there because I’m going to attend a meeting in Shanghai.

Thank you for thinking of me③. I hope have a chance of learning from you in the future④. Wish the symposium a success.

Yours sincerely, Liu Li 评析:

从内容和结构上看,本文基本符合题目要求。首先感谢对方的邀请;其次说明不能接受邀请并告知对方不能接受的原因;最后希望将来能有机会当面讨教,并希望对方的活动能够成功。但是在表达不能应邀的原因时(即“将要去上海开会”),没有说明这个会议是接到对方邀请信之前已经安排好的。在句末补充上 “(a meeting in Shanghai) that has been arranged earlier.”除此之外,还应注意以下几点: ① 研讨会并非私人聚会,译成 “your symposium”并不合适。改为 “the symposium”。

② 研讨会的具体时间不能遗漏,因为要求中规定是“2008年3月4日星期四召开的研讨会”。改为 “(the) symposium to be held on Thursday, March. 4, 2008”。 ③ 此处应该按题目要求表达歉意。改为 “ I’m very sorry for declining your kind invitation.”

④ 该句中学生受汉语思维的影响,采用了字对字的翻译,导致hope后直接跟了动词词组“have a chance”,汉语中省略了宾语从句中的主语“I”,泽为英文时要补上。另外“拜访”一词应该用“visit”,可将之改为 “I hope that I’ll have a chance to visit you later. 修改后的习作:

March.2, 2008

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Dear Professor Wang,

It is very kind of you to invite me to the symposium to be held on Thursday, March. 4, 2008, but I regret very much that I’m not be able to go there because I’m going to attend a meeting in Shanghai that has been arranged earlier.

I’m very sorry for declining your kind invitation. I hope that I’ll have a chance to visit you later. Wish the symposium a success.

Yours sincerely, Liu Li

询价信及回函

询价信是一方对另一方的商品或服务感兴趣,希望能与其达成贸易的信函。询价信是希望获取信息的信件,分为三个部分:

1. 说明自己的计划或目的,也就是询问信息的原因; 2. 征询具体信息;

3. 期待回复并表示感谢。

回函首先须对对方的询价表示感谢,其次告知对方需要的信息,最后盼望收到对方的订单或盼望得到对方进一步的咨询。 范文:(2005年1月真题) Inquiry letter (询价信)

November 29, 2004

Dear Mr. Peter Kevil,

I’d like to buy jet printer that your HP company produced. Could you please send me some information about its price and after sales services?

We’re looking forward to your early reply.

Sincerely yours, David Johnson

Reply letter(回函)

December 6, 2004

Dear Mr. David Johnson,

I’m glad to hear that you are interested in my jet printer. Our company always provides quality services for our clients. If your needs amount to a certain degree, we will give you a discount. Here enclosed is the category and price list. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need any help.

Sincerely yours,

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Peter Kevil

询价信常用语:

1.Would you please send us some samples and the quotations? 敬请惠寄报价单和样品可否?

2.Will you please let us have a list of items that your company produced? 敬请将贵公司生产的商品目录寄来。

3. Please let us have some information about the price and quality of the goods. 请告知该商品的价格和质量。

4.We would appreciate it if you will let us know prices of the goods. 如您能告知该商品的价格, 将不胜感谢。 5.Please tell us your best terms and discount. 请告知你们的优惠条款和折扣。 询价信回函常用语:

1.We are glad to receive the inquiry for the goods received from your firm. 我们收到贵公司关于这类商品的询价感到很高兴。

2.We have received your letter of July 1, enquiring about the best terms of the goods.

贵公司7月1日来函就该商品优惠条件的询盘敬悉。

3.In reply to your enquiry, we are sending you several samples of wall paper. 针对你方的询盘, 现寄出你想要的墙纸样品。 4.Enclosed is the price list for the goods. 兹随函寄上该商品的价格表一份。

5.If your needs amount to a certain degree, we will give you a discount. 如果你们的需求达到一定数量,我们会给您打折。 练习:

1)假设你是刘英,写一封询价信给一个录音机生产商。信件内容如下:你们的客户需要820台录音机,想让对方传真过一个报价单。录音机的运货日期必须在这个月底。希望对方告诉你有关支付的条款,如果价格合适的话,以便你安排购买。盼望很快收到对方的回复。

参考词汇:运货: shipment 支付: payment 参考答案: Dear Sirs,

Our customer is in great need of your model 820 recorders. Would you please fax us a quotation?The shipment of the recorders must be before the end of next month. Kindly inform us of your terms of payment so that we may arrange our purchase so long as your price is right.

Looking forward to your prompt reply.

Yours sincerely,

Liuying

注意:该习作中学生最易出错的是:(1)、“820台录音机”,有不少学生将它写为名词所有格的形式“recorders of 820”,忘记了数词是可以直接作定语修饰名词的这一规则。(2)、“想让对方传真过一个报价单”,这里学生不知道“传真”可以作动词用,只知把它当名词,写作“send us a fax of a price list”。(3)、“录音机的运货日期必须在这个月底”,这句中学生搞不清楚主语是什么,谓语动词

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又该搭配什么,有不少学生写作“the shipment of the recorders must arrive at the end of the month.” 学生习作:

Dear Mr. or Mrs ①:

I’m Liu Ying ②. We ③ need 820 recorders. Please send us a fax of price paper④. I hope you can inform me of the clause relating to the payment⑤. If the price is right, we can buy it at once⑥. The shipment date ⑦must arrive at the end of the month⑧.

Hoping to receive your reply quickly.

Your friend Liu⑨ 评析:

该篇习作基本按照题目要求完成了写作任务,但在信函格式、信件内容的准确性及词汇准确性方面存在以下问题:

①称呼错,标点符号错。当不知收信人为谁时,可以称呼Dear Sir or Madam, Mr. 和Mrs后必须加上姓。称呼后面应该用逗号。改为:“Dear Sir or Madam,”。 ②写信人的身份无需说明,应体现在落款中。此句删去。

③该句主语不符合题意。题目要求写“你们的客户需要820台录音机”,主语是Our customers而不是we.改为:Our customers。 ④该句中“报价单”译错。Price paper是生造的词,应该改成专有名词quotation。另外,“send us a fax of quotation”,非常罗嗦、不简练,学生只知“fax”是名词,却不知其有动词“发传真”的意思,可改为“fax us a quotation”。

⑤“支付条款”译错。交易合同的“条款”用term。把the clause relating to the payment改成terms of payment。

⑥后半句表达不符要求,原句是“马上安排购买”并不是“马上购买”。改为:we will get prepared for the payment soon. ⑦ 该句中的主语是“Shipment date”,而谓语动词用了“arrive”,明显逻辑不通,可将动词改为“be”或将主语改为“The recorders”。 ⑧ 该句中关于运货日期的要求这一句,应该按照题目的指示放在Please fax us a price paper这句的后面。因为在公函中,业务内容往往按重要的程度排列,越重要的内容放臵的位臵越靠前。

⑨信的敬语不应该自编,落款要完整。把Your friend改为Yours truly或Yours faithfully, 落款改为Liuying。

修改后的习作: Dear Sir or Madam,

Our customers need 820 recorders. Please fax us your quotation. The shipment date must be at the end of the month. I hope you can inform me of the terms of payment. If the price is right, we will get prepared for the payment soon. The shipment date must be at the end of the month.

Hoping to receive your reply quickly.

Yours truly, Liuying

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2)假设你是刘军,根据以上询价信以公司的名义写一份回函,感谢刘英写信询价本公司的录音机,并乐意为对方报最优惠的价格,随信附上价目表。如果有问题,可联系我们。 参考范文: Dear Liuying,

Thank for your inquiry by letter of our recorders. We are pleased to quote you our best price. Here enclosed is our newest price list. If you have any problem, please contact us.

Yours truly,

Liujun

注意:该篇习作中,教师要提醒学生以下句子的写法:“因某事感谢某人(thank sb. for sth.)”,“报最优惠的价格(quote / offer the best price)”,“随信附上(Here enclosed is…)”

学生习作: Dear Liu Ying,

Thank you for your letter①. We are ②glad to offer the preferential price for③ you. I have enclosed④ the price list. If you have any problem, please contact me.

Liu Jun⑤ May.27th,2009⑥

评析:

此篇习作基本按照题目要求完成了写作任务,但在信函格式、信息完整性、人称一致性方面存在问题,如:

①回信开头应该简述上封信的主要内容。在letter后补充in which you inquired about the price of the recorders.

②信的人称应该前后一致,此处应该和别处一样,以第一人称单数开头。把We are改为I am。 ③“为某人提供……”的词组是offer sth. to sb.,或offer sb. sth., 不是offer sth. for sb.。将offer the preferential price for改为offer the preferential price to。

④“随信附上”用完成时态表达不合适,用一般现在时即可。改为Here enclosed is或者I enclose…with the letter.

⑤落款前应该有敬语。在Liu Jun的上一行补充Yours truly。

⑥写信的日期放在落款之下是汉语的习惯,在英文书信中,日期应该放在信纸的右上角。

修改后的习作:

May.27th,2009

Dear Liu Ying,

Thank you for your letter in which you inquired about the price of the recorders. I am glad to offer the preferential price to you. I enclose the price list with the letter. If you have any problem, please contact me.

Yours Truly,

Liu Jun

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请求建立业务关系的信函及回函

请求建立业务关系的信函是一方对另一方的商品或服务感兴趣,希望能与其结成贸易伙伴的信函。该类信件分为三个部分: 1. 告知如何获悉对方公司; 2. 介绍本公司业务;

3. 期待回复并表示感谢。

回函中首先感谢对方公司对本公司的兴趣并表示愿意或不愿意与对方建立业务关系,其次进一步向对方介绍本公司的业务或说明不愿意建立业务关系的理由,最后盼望双方的第一次合作或盼望以后有机会再行合作。 范文:

May 10, 2004

Dear Mr. Clein,

We have obtained your name and address from Dee & Co. Ltd, and we are writing to ask whether you would be willing to establish business relations with us.

We have been importers of shoes for many years. At present, we are interested in extending our business range and would appreciate your catalogues and quotations.

If your prices are competitive, we would expect to place volume orders on you. We look forward to your early reply.

Yours faithfully,

Tony Smith Chief Buyer

回函:

May 22, 2004

Dear Mr. Smith,

Thank you for your letter of the 20th of this month. We shall be glad to enter into business relations with your company.

In reply to your request, we are sending you our latest catalogue and price list of our export range.

Payment should be made by irrevocable and confirmed letter of credit (不可撤销保兑信用证).

If you wish to place an order, please email or fax us.

Yours sincerely, Calvin Clein Chief Seller

请求建立业务关系信件及回函常用语:

1. Your name has been given by the Chinese Consulate in London as dealer and manufacturer of the above goods.

我们从中国驻伦敦的领事管得知贵公司是一家以上产品的经销商及制造商。

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2. From the latest issue of \Foreign Trade\we learn the name and address of your corporation.

我们从最新一期的《广东外贸》得知贵公司的名字和地址。

3. The name and address of your corporation has been given to us by the Canadian Chamber of Commerce, who has informed us that your are a reputable exporter of Chinese furniture.

贵公司的名字和地址是由加拿大商务会所提供给我们的,会所告诉我们贵公司是非常有声望的一家中国家具出口商。

4. We come across your corporation's name and address from the magazine \East\from where we have learnt that you are leading manufacturers/exporters of textile.

我们从《东方贸易》这本杂志得知贵公司的名字和地址,我们也得知贵公司是纺织品生产和出口的龙头企业。

5. We have been looking for a reliable manufacturer to supply us with cotton ladies' dress on a regular basis. Recently from the advertisement in \Daily\we have learned that you are a firm who is engaged in import and export business and believe that you can meet our requirements. 我们一直在寻找一家可靠的生产商,可长期为我们提供绵质的女裙。近来从《中国日报》的广告版,我们得知贵公司一直从事进出口生意,相信你们可以满足我们的需求。

6. We are writing to ask whether you would be willing to establish / enter into business relations with us.

我们写信是想寻问你们是否愿意与我们公司建立业务关系。

7. We have been … for many years. At present, we are interested in extending our business range and would appreciate it if you are willing to establish business relations with us.

我们公司做了好多年的…(生意)。现在我们想扩大生意范围,如果贵公司愿意与我们建立外贸关系,我们会特别感激的。

8. If your prices are competitive, we would expect to place volume orders on you. 如果你们的价格有竞争力,我们会下订单。

9. Your early response will be very much appreciated. 希望你们能尽快回信,不胜感激。

10. We look forward to hearing from you soon. 我们期待尽快收到您的回复。 11. We await your favorable reply. 我们期待您表示赞许的回复。 练习:

1) 假设你是李利,在福州举行的展览会期间了解到一家公司的新产品,产品号为1354,你非常感兴趣。给那家公司写信,请对方寄送报价单和产品目录。并希望能建立贸易合作关系,请对方尽早回复。写信日期为:2008年4月3日。 参考答案:

April 3rd,2008

Dear Sir,

The purpose of this letter is to develop trade relationship with you.

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Last month I went to attend Fuzhou Expo and was interested in your new product No 1354. We will be very appreciated if you could send us your price list and category. We are willing to establish business relations with your firm on the basis of equality and mutual benefit.

We are looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely yours,

Lili

注意:此篇习作中学生容易出错的句子为“(你)在福州举行的展览会期间了解到一家公司的新产品,产品号为1354。”学生对该句句子结构的安排有些混乱,如:“福州举行的展览会”,学生都知道“福州举行的”作“展览会”的定语,可用定语从句写,可很多同学都会出错。又如“产品号为1354”,学生往往倾向于将它处理为一个独立的句子,事实上,它只需作“新产品”的补充成分,用一个短语表达即可。教师在练习前可给学生进行分析。 学生习作:

April.3, 2008 Dear Liubo:①

We come across ②the name and address of your company from Exhibition which held in Fuzhou③, from where ④we have learnt that your new product (No.1354) is very good. We are very interested in it.

We are writing to ask whether you would be willing to enter into business relations with us. Please tell ⑤ us your catalogues and quotations⑥.

If your prices are competitive, we would expect to place volume orders on your company ⑦.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully, Li Li 评析:

总体来讲,本篇习作按照题目要求完成了写作任务,篇章结构也符合商务信函的要求,是一篇不错的习作。首先介绍了获悉对方信息及产品的途径;其次表达了此次信函的目的,即希望与对方公司建立业务关系,请他们寄来产品目录及报价单;之后表示如果对方价格具有竞争力,就会下订单,这一内容题目中未有要求,可以不写;最后期待对方能尽快回复。尽管结构清晰,但是还是出现了一些格式和语言上的错误:

① 题目中没有收信人的名称,在不知对方是谁时,应称呼 “Dear Sirs” 或“Dear Gentlemen”。另外,称呼后应该加逗号而不是冒号。改为 “Dear Sirs,”。

② “come across”通常指“遇见(人)”,而“获悉”可以用 “obtain”来表示。改为 “have obtained”。

③ 该句中修饰“exhibition”的定语从句“which held in Fuzhou”有误,“展览是被举行的”,应该用被动“which was held in Fuzhou”,也可以写得过去分词作定语修饰“exhibition”,即改为“Exhibition held in Fuzhou”。 ④ 此处定语从句的先行词是地点名词“Exhibition”,所以引导定语从句的词应该是where。把 “from where”改为 “where”。此处的错误是该学生混淆了先行词是地点时,引导定语从句的词可以是“介词+ which”和“where”的区别。 ⑤“tell”只是“告之”,应按题目的意思改为 “send”,表示“寄送”。

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⑥题目中的产品目录和报价单只是关于1354产品的,用单数比较合理。改为 “catalogue and quotation.” 修改后的习作:

April.3, 2008

Dear Sirs,

We have obtained the name and address of your company during the exposition held in Fuzhou, where we have learnt that your new product (No.1354) is very good. We are very interested in it. Would you please send us your catalogue and quotation? If your prices are competitive, we would expect to place volume orders on your company.

Moreover, we are writing to ask whether you would be willing to enter into business relations with us.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully, Li Li

2) 假设你是刘波,现以公司名义根据上述信件写一封回函,对对方要求建立业务关系并询问新产品的来信表示感谢。并非常愿意跟对方建立业务关系,随信附上所寻问产品1354的产品介绍小册和价目表。盼望收到对方的第一份订单。 参考答案: Dear Lili,

Thank you fro your letter of April 3rd, hoping to establish business relationship with us and enquiring about our new product No 1354.

We are very pleased to enter into business relationship with your compnay and sepcially enclose our new product brochure and the price list.

We look forward to receiving your first order.

Yours sincerely,

Liubo

注意:学生对该习作中的第一句话(感谢对方写信要求建立业务关系并询问新产品)的写法存在很大问题。因为要感谢的内容比较多,所以学生在该句的处理上出现了结构不平行或结构混乱的问题。教师可在练习前给学生进行分析,教他们在感谢的事情比较多的情况下,怎样表达,意思才不会产生歧义而且结构符合英语语法的要求。 学生习作: Dear Mr. Lili,

I stand for our company to① thank you for your letter of this month. We shall be glad to enter into business relations with your company.

In reply to your request, we are sending② our company’s 1354 catalogue and price list③. I hope we will receive the first order form④ from you soon.

We await your favorable reply.

Yours sincerely,

Liubo

评析:

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本篇习作基本完成了题目要求的写作任务,行文结构也清晰明了。只有个别信息有所遗漏,在信函开头感谢对方来信时,并未说明感谢的是“对方要求建立业务关系并询问新产品”,应将该句内容充实为“…thank you for your letter of April.3, in which you required to establish business relations with us and inquired about our new product No.1354”。此外,该习作还有以下语言错误: ①文中“代表公司,或以公司名义”用了“stand for”,此用法不够准确,应该改为“in the name of”,也可以不用在正文中体现,因为信函本身的语气就可体现这层意思。将之删除或改为In the name of our company, I thank you for your letter of this month。 ② “随信附上”译成“we are sending”不够确切,可以用“We enclose… with the letter”来表示。改为we are enclosing with the letter…。

③ “所询问产品1354的产品介绍小册和价目表”的译法完全是按汉语语序译的,不符合英文习惯,应改为“the brochure and the price list of the new product No. 1354”.

④ “订单”是order, 不是order form, order form往往指空白的订单表格。删除form.

修改后的习作: Dear Mr. Lili,

In the name of our company, I thank you for your letter of April.3, in which you required to establish business relations with us and inquired about our new product No.1354. We shall be glad to enter into business relations with your company.

In reply to your request, we are enclosing with the letter the brochure and the price list of the new product No. 1354.

I hope we will receive the first order from you soon. We await your favorable reply.

Yours sincerely,

Liubo

投诉或索赔信

投诉信是对产品或服务表示不满的信件,一般分三个部分: 1. 提出投诉内容; 2. 说明具体情况; 3. 提出解决办法。 范文:(真题2001.12)

23rd December

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing the letter to complain about the camera I bought from your store last month when I was on business in Guangzhou. There I took some pictures, yet, when I had it developed after I got home, I found no pictures printed at all. I feel very frustrated about it. I have posted the camera back to you and strongly insist that you refund me as soon as possible.

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Yours sincerely,

Wang Lan

投诉信常用表达:

1. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction at...(物品或服务)I bought / received on…(日期) in…(地点)

我写信是想表达我某月某日在某地方买的/受到的…东西或服务的不满。 2. I am very disappointed/upset to find that... 我发现…感到非常失望/沮丧。

3. I received very poor service at your hotel two days ago. 我两天前在你们宾馆得到了非常差的服务。

4. I am going to refuse the payment until I receive apology / a new product. 在我接受到道歉/新产品之前,我不会付款。

5. To improve the situation/solve the above problem, it is advisable for you to ... 为了改善目前的状况/解决上述问题,最明智的做法是,你…

6. I suggest that you look into this matter immediately and deal with it quickly and properly.

我建议你马上调查一下这事,并很快给予恰当的处理。

7. I look forward to a day when we could really enjoy a more efficient service. 我盼望有一天我们能享受到更高效的服务。

8. I strongly insist that you refund me as soon as possible. 我强烈要求你尽快退款给我。 练习:

1)假设你是李明,写一封投诉信,内容如下:你预订的电视机于上星期五按时送到了,但是仅三天后,电视就不能正常运作了。星期二晚上,打开电视时,发现它变成黑白的了,其它颜色全都消失了,更糟糕的是,遥控器也坏了,你打过他们公司的服务电话,但总是占线。这个问题影响了你的正常生活,希望他们尽快给你解决这个问题。并对他们的理解表示感谢。盼望早日收到他们的来信。

参考范文: Dear Sir,

The television I ordered from your store arrived on time last Friday, but only three days later I found it could not work properly.

On Tuesday evening, when I turned on the television, I was surprised to find that it became a black and white television and all of the other colors were simply gone. What made matters worse, the remote control was also out of order. I dialed your service number for several times, but the line was always busy.

This problem has affected our normal life. Can you get it repaired as soon as possible? Thank you for your consideration.

I am looking forward to your early reply.

Yours faithfully,

Li Ming

注意:该习作中学生易出错的地方有:(1)、“你预订的电视机于上星期五按时送到了”,该句中学生对于主语的处理不当,应该用定语从句写作:“the TV you ordered”,但有一些学生却写作错误的名词所有格结构“your ordered TV”;另外,

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也有不少同学将该句的谓语动词结构错用为主动“send”。(2)、“它变成黑白的了”,这里很多同学将“变成”写作“change”. 学生习作:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to complain about the poor quality of a color TV set. Last Friday, I ordered the television it arrived on time①, but only three days later, it is unable to carry on its normal duties②. On Tuesday evening, we opened it up③ and found it turned into monochrome, other colors were all lost. ④ What’s more, the remote control was broken.⑤ I made a phone call to your company, but the phone is always busy.⑥ The problem affected our normal lives, I hope you will deal with it quickly and properly.⑦

Thank you for your consideration and I am looking forward to your early reply. Yours sincerely, Li Ming 评析:

该篇习作按照题纲要求完成了要点,结构非常清晰。难得的是在一开头,按照投诉信的篇章结构陈述了写信的目的,并没有死板地按照汉语提示直接对译。尽管如此,本篇习作在语言上还是存在很多问题,如:

①“你预订的电视机于上星期五按时送到了”这句的主语“你预订的电视机”应该用一个定语从句表示“the television I ordered”,而该处译文无视语法规则,逐字对译,造成理解上的困难。整句应该改成:Last Friday, the television I ordered arrived on time.

②这句时态用错。本篇习作的主体部分是对于购买商品出问题的前后进行叙述,应该一直用过去时来表述。 “电视就不能正常运作了”这句的时态要和前句一致,不能用一般现在时。把it is unable to carry on its normal duties改成it was unable to carry on its normal duties.

③“打开电视机”应该用短语turn on来表示,不能用open up。把we opened it up改成we turned it on。 ④这句有三处错误。一,turn…into的用法错,这个短语意为“把某物/某人变成”,不适合用在此处,应用turn+adj.来表达。二,“颜色全都消失了”不能用were all lost表达,否则变成“颜色全丢失了”,应该用be gone或disappear表达。三,found it turned into monochrome和other colors were all lost是两个完整的句子,不能用逗号连接,应该把后一句改成前一句的状语或用and将两句连接成并列句。另外,monochrome这个词太专业,不建议同学们在普通的信件中使用,可以改用black and white. 把and found it turned into monochrome, other colors were all lost改成and found it turned black and white, other colors all gone. 或者and found it turned black and white and other colors are all gone.

⑤“遥控器也坏了”这句如果用be broken表达,意思就变成了“遥控器被摔坏了”,应该换成not work或be out of order。把此句改成:What’s more, the remote control didn’t work. ⑥后半句有两处错误。一,时态应和前文保持一致,用过去时而不是一般现在时。二,“电话占线”的固定表达是the line is busy而不是the phone is busy. ⑦两个单句之间不能用逗号连接,应该用连词来连接。学生对于这个概念不清楚,因此在写作中常犯这种错误。此处两句之间应该按照互相的逻辑关系,选取一个

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适当的连词来连接。另外,前半句时态用错。如果谓语用过去时affected,表示“过去影响过,现在已经没有这个问题了”,而实际上问题尚未解决,所以应该用现在完成时来表达。改成:The problem has affected our normal lives, so I hope you will deal with it quickly and properly. 修改后的习作: Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to complain about the poor quality of a color TV set. Last Friday, the television I ordered arrived on time, but only three days later, it was unable to carry on its normal duties. On Tuesday evening, we turned it on and found it turned black and white, other colors all gone. What’s more, the remote control didn’t work I made a phone call to your company, but the line was always busy. The problem has affected our normal lives, so I hope you will deal with it quickly and properly

Thank you for your consideration and I am looking forward to your early reply. Yours sincerely,

2)假设你是李明,写信投诉一次不愉快的旅行,内容如下:上星期二的早上,你从渡口乘他们公司的公交车前往丽江。公交车按计划应该晚上七点到丽江,可车因故障在下午四点就停在半路了,司机和售票员既没有自己解决这个问题也没有寻求别人的帮助。直到8点钟,另一辆公交车才把我们带到一个村庄住旅店。我们不得不为住宿开支,那个房间特别小而且被子也很脏。好不容易等我们到大约两点快点睡着的时候,司机把我们叫醒,说车修好了。我建议你们很快调查一下这件事情,处理一下。盼望收到你们的回复。 参考范文: Dear Sir,

I am writing to you about a most unhappy experience. Last Tuesday morning, we took a long route bus of your company from Dukou to Lijiang. The bus was scheduled to arrive in Lijiang at 7 o'clock in the evening, but it stopped midway at four p.m. for mechanical problems. The driver and the ticket seller could neither solve the problem by themselves nor seek help from others.

Up until 8 o'clock, another bus finally carried us to a rural motel. We had to pay for our accommodation. The room was too small and the quilt was so dirty. To our surprise, when we just managed to sleep at around 2 a.m., the driver came to wake us up-the bus had been fixed!

I suggest that you look into this matter immediately and deal with it quickly and properly.

Looking forward to your reply.

Yours, Li Ming

注意:该习作中学生容易出错的句子有: “公交车按计划应该晚上七点到丽江”,“按计划应该”在此处要怎么去表达是一个难点,可以用“be supposed to do…as scheduled”或“be scheduled to do…”。此外,在具体细节的描述上需要用到一些表示先后顺序的连词,教师对此要给予提醒。 学生习作:

Dear Sir or Madam,

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修改后的习作:

Cashiers Wanted

Wu Mart is a Beijing supermarket chain store. We are now looking for three cashiers.

Qualifications for applicants: 1. Have working experience 2. Be able to work alone 3. Be good at computer 4. Be willing to help others 5. Have sense of responsibility

If being employed, the employees will be offered trainings by the company. The salary is high and there are also a lot of chances for promotion.

Those interested please contact Manager Wang at 62223588. 五.备忘录 备忘录是单位内部传递信息的文件,包括抬头和正文,其中抬头包含四个部分: 1.TO: 收阅者 2.FROM: 撰写者 3.SUBJECT: 主题 4.DATE: 日期

范文1:

To: All Departmental Managers From: Sales Manager Date: March 4th, 2003

Subject: Annual Sales Reports

All Departmental Managers are reminded that the Annual Sales Reports are required to be sent to the Personnel Office by April 1st. If any difficulties are met in its completion by this date, please inform me. cc: Ellen Staley, General Manager

范文2:

To: Mr. Lin, Regional Sales Manager From: Assistant Sales Manager Date: October 14th, 2003

Subject: Handling of the Enquiry

I have dealt with the enquiry that you passed to me on Friday. The enquiry was from Mr. E. King, who wanted to know whether we could offer him a special wholesale discount. I told Mr. King that we could offer his company a 5% discount on orders over $1,000.

练习:

2005年5月23日人事部告知全体员工,任命李晨先生为本公司人事部的经理。李先生已在本公司工作5年。之前,他曾就职于长城工业公司,任人力资源部

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(Human Resources Department)经理,负责组织规划(organizational planning)、人才选拔(executive selection)、管理开发等工作。

参考答案: To: All staff

From: H.R. Department Date: May 23rd, 2005 Subject: Lichen promoted

I am pleased to announce that Mr. Li Chen has been made Personnel Director of the Human Resources Department.

Mr. Li has been working for our firm for five years. Before that he was Director of the Human Resources Department at the Great Wall Industries. He was responsible for organizational planning, executive selection and management development. 注意:该习作中较难的一点是短语“任命某人担任…一职”,学生对这一短语不太熟悉。 学生习作: To: All Staff

Fm: Personnel Office① Date: 5, 23, 2005②

Subject: Personnel Change

The Personnel Office decides③ to appoint Mr. Li Chen for manager of Personnel Office④. Mr. Li has been working in our company for five years. Before this, he worked in the Great Wall Industry Company and appointed manager of Personnel Office. ⑤He charged organizational planning and executive selection and management development.⑥ 评析:

该习作格式基本正确,内容也较为完整,句子结构相当多变,但就词汇和句子结构的准确性而言,还存在不少问题:

①公司的职能部门用department而不是office. 把Personnel Office改成Personnel Department.

②日期表达错,习惯上月份应该用单词或缩写表示。改成:May 23, 2005.

③时态错。任命的决定已经做出,应该用现在完成时而不是一般现在时。把decides改成:has decided.

④公司每个部门的负责人都有固定的表达, 常见的有:CEO: chief executive officer(首席执行官,总裁), chairman of the board of directors(董事长), general manager(总经理), deputy general manager(副总经理), assistant manager(副经理,经理助理), director(董事), personnel manager/human resources manager(人事部经理), director of the financial section(财务主管), marketing manager(营销部经理), administrative manager(行政部经理), sales manager(销售部经理), public relations manager(公关部经理), production manager(生产部经理)。另外,“任命某人为……”的短语是appoint sb. as/to be…”, appoint 不能和for 搭配。把to appoint Mr. Li Chen for manager of Personnel Office改成: to appoint Mr. Li Chen as personnel manager。

⑤ 该句中“任人力资源部经理”中的动词用了“appoint”一词,该词为短暂性

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动词,而此处指的是李晨在长城工业公司工作时,担任该职务,需要一个持续性动词,因此需改为“act / work as…”,整句要处理地简练一些,可以写为:“…he worked in the Great Wall Industry Company as personnel manager.” ⑥此句在用词上有两个错误: 一,“负责”是be in charge of 而不是charge, charge作为动词表示“收费”;二,并列成分超过两个时,在最后一个前加上一个并列连词即可。另外,就语意来看,“负责组织规划(organizational planning)、人才选拔(executive selection)、管理开发等工作”这句不应该单独译出,而是应该和“曾就职于长城工业公司,任人力资源部(Human Resources Department)经理”这两句合并,放在一个译句中,否则会造成歧义,让人以为这几件事不是同时做的。和上句合并为:Before this, he worked in the Great Wall Industry Company as personnel manager,in charge of organizational planning, executive selection and management development. 修改后的习作: To: All Staff

Fm: Personnel Department Date: May 23, 2005

Subject: Personnel Change

The Personnel Office has decided to appoint Mr. Li Chen as personnel manager. Mr. Li has been working in our company for five years. Before this, he worked in the Great Wall Industry Company as human resources manager, in charge of organizational planning, executive selection and management development.

2.2003年七月五日罗锐向质量经理(quality control manager)汇报:在检测新机器时发现该机器有问题。他建议新机器停止生产以保证产品质量。 参考答案:

To: Quality Control Manager From: Luo Rui Date: July 5th, 2003

Subject: About the New Machine

At the recent test, I discovered that there were some problems with the new machine. May I suggest that the production of the new machine be stopped to ensure the quality of the product.

注意:该习作中的难点包括第一句话的写法,即“在检测新机器时发现该机器有问题”,如果学生按汉语思维写这个句子,很容易丢掉主语。此外,“保证”一词,会有不少学生感到陌生。 学生习作:

To: Quality Control Manager Fm: Luo Rui

Date: July 5, 2003

Subject: Something is Wrong with These New Machines①

When I check these new machines, I found that there is something wrong with it.② In my opinion③, I suggest to the new equipments should be stopped working④ to ensure product quality.

I hope you will accept my suggestion.⑤ 评析:

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该习作比较清楚完整地完成了写作任务,词汇及句子结构也相对较为多变。需注意以下问题:

①备忘录的主题栏应该写摘要,一般用词或短语而不是句子表示,以便看起来方便。另外,由于审题不细,译文错把机器译成了复数形式(下文同样的错误就不累述)。把Something Wrong with These New Machines改成Problems about the New Machine。

②此句译文主要有两处错误。一,“在检测新机器时发现该机器有问题”这句话是叙述过去发生的事情,时态应用过去时,不能用一般现在时。二,when引导的状语从句的时态,应该和主句统一,所以check, find, 和be都应该用过去式。把这句话改成:When I checked the new machine, I found that there was something wrong with it.

③“提建议”可译成In my opinion(依我之见),或者是I suggest(我建议),但没有必要同时出现这两种表达。为避免和后面的I suggest重复,删去In my opinion。

④此处主要有两个用词的错误。一,suggest的用法错误。Suggest作“建议”用时,主要有两种用法——suggest doing sth.和suggest that… (should) do sth.,而不是suggest to sth. should do. 二, “机器停止生产”这句中,如果把“停止”译成stop,应该用主动态的短语sth. stop doing来表达,而不是被动态。把这句改成: I suggest that the new equipment should stop working.

⑤这句话表示希望对方采纳建议,是写信的结束语,不应该在备忘录中出现。备忘录是一种非常简洁的文体,主要的功能是记事而不是交流,所以在结尾处不需要写这样表示希望的套语。把此句删除。 修改后的习作:

To: Quality Control Manager Fm: Luo Rui Date: July 5, 2003

Subject: Problems with the New Machine

When I checked the new machine, I found that there was something wrong with it. I suggest that the new equipment should stop working to ensure product quality.

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I’m writing to express my dissatisfaction at your service. We took your company’s bus①from Dukou to Lijiang last Tuesday morning. The bus should arrive in Lijiang at seven in the evening as plan②, but it broke down halfway. The driver and the ticket seller had not solved this problem by themselves, or looked for help from others either.③ Another bus didn’t carry us to a hotel in a village until 8p.m.④ So we had to pay for our accommodation. ⑤ That room was very small and the quit was very dirty. Then, when we were falling asleep at about 2 a.m., the driver woke us up and told us the bus was repaired.⑥ This journey made us very unhappy. So I suggest that you look into this matter immediately and deal with it quickly.

Thank you for your consideration. Looking forward to your early reply. Yours sincerely, Li Ming 评析:

此篇习作结构清晰,符合投诉信的篇章结构。同时,也按照提纲要求包括了所有的要点内容,在具体细节的陈述方面运用了表示先后顺序的连词,如“until…”,“then”, “when…”等。但在语法和词汇的运用方面还存在以下问题:

①此处所有格表达有问题。无生命的事物不能后面直接加’s表示所有格,而是应该用the +n.+of+n.的形式表达。把your company’s bus改成the bus of your company.

②此处有两个语法和用词的错误。一,“公交车按计划应该晚上七点到丽江”如果谓语用情态动词should表示,不能用should do sth.,而要用should have done sth.,表示“本应该……(却没…)”。二,“按计划”的英文表达是as scheduled, 不是as plan。把这句改成:The bus should have arrived in Lijiang at seven in the evening as scheduled.

③“司机和售票员既没有自己解决这个问题也没有寻求别人的帮助”这句的表达是难点,也是学生容易出错的地方。首先,从时态的角度来看,“解决”和“寻求”两个动词是过去同时发生的动作,应该都用过去时。其次,从用词来看,英语中有一个现成的并列连词neither…nor…, 可以表达“既没有……也没有”的含义,无须用“or…either”。把整句话改成:The drive and the ticket neither solved this problem by themselves nor looked for help from others.

④这句话中没有用对连词until。“直到8点钟,另一辆公交车才把我们带到一个村庄住旅店”这个句子,如果用until表示“直到”,用“until+具体时间”的结构即可。原句中用了not…until的结构,把时间状语放在结尾,意为“另一辆公交车直到8点才把我们带到一个村庄住旅店”,含有谴责“另一辆公交车”的意思,不符合题意。改成:Until 8p.m., another bus finally carried us to a hotel in a village.

⑤这句话和上文没有因果关系,把so删除。

⑥“told us the bus was repaired”中,动词repair的时态用错。“修好车”是在司机叫醒我们之前发生的事,应该用过去完成时,表示“过去的过去”发生的事。把told us the bus was repaired改成told us the bus had been repaired. 修改后的习作:

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to express my dissatisfaction at your service. We took the bus of your company from Dukou to Lijiang last Tuesday morning. The bus should have arrived in Lijiang at seven in the evening as scheduled, but it broke down halfway. The drive and the ticket neither solved this problem by themselves nor looked for help from others. Until 8p.m., another bus finally carried us to a hotel in a village. we had to pay for our accommodation. That room was very small and the quit was very dirty. Then, when we were felling asleep at about 2 a.m., the drive woke us up and told us the bus had been repaired. This journey made us very unhappy. So I suggest that you look into this matter immediately and deal with it quickly.

Thank you for your consideration. Looking forward to your early reply. Yours sincerely, Li Ming

求职信

求职信的目的是为了让聘用你的一方了解你的经验、能力、成果、愿望等。要尽可能地向对方表现你的长处,以便给人一个好印象,获得面试的机会。求职信大致包括以下内容:

1.首先说明写信缘由:是看到招聘广告还是从朋友处得到消息还是其它。 2.接着写个人情况:年龄、性格、教育程度、工作经验、特殊技能待。 3.结尾:请求得到面试机会。 范文:

Dear Sir / Madame,

Your advertisement for a Network Maintenance Engineer in the April 10th China Daily interested me because the position that you described sounds exactly lie the kind of job I am seeking.

According to the advertisement, your position requires a good university degree, Bachelor or above in Computer Science or equivalent field and competent in Windows NT 4.0 and Linux System. I feel that I am competent to meet the requirement. I will be graduating from XX University this year. My studies have included courses in computer control and management.

During my education, I have grasped the principles of my major subject area and gained practical skills. Not only have I passed CET-6, but more importantly I can communicate fluently in English. My ability to write and speak English is a good standard.

求职信常用语句:

1. In reply to your advertisement in today’s China Daily for a sales manager, I sincerely offer my services for the position.

欣读今日《中国日报》上贵公司的招聘广告,敝人特此备函应征该职。 2. With reference to your advertisement in Newsweek of May 2nd for a clerk, I offer myself for the post. 从5月2日《

新闻周刊》广告栏得知贵公司招聘职员一名,我现在申请该职位。

3. Your advertisement for a telephone operator in China Daily of March 8th has interested me. I feel I can fill that position.

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贵公司3月8日在《中国日报》上刊登广告,招聘一名接线员,敝人读后极感兴趣。我想念能胜任此职。

4. I saw you advertisement for a secretary in China Daily of March 8th. I am interested in the position.

我看到了贵公司3月8日在《中国日报》上招聘一名接线员的广告,对这一职位很感兴趣。

5. I gradated from…, majoring in … 我毕业于…, 专业是… 6. I am good at… 我善长于…

7. My major is…/ I major in… 我的专业是…

8. I feel that I am competent to meet the requirement. 我觉得我符合你们的要求。

9. I have a good command / mastery of … 我对…掌握得很好。

10. I have been in an exporting company for over five years. 我在一家出口公司干了有五年多了。

11. I have had five years’ experience with a company as a salesman. 我已在一家公司担任了五年的推销员。

12. The reason for leaving my present job is that I am eager to get broader experience in …

我离职的理由是希望在贸易方面能够获得更广泛的经验。 13. I left the position with the desire of improving my position. 我为了找更好的职位而离职。

14. I trust you will give this application your favorable consideration. 恳请考虑敝人的申请。

15. Should you give me a trial, I will do my utmost to afford you every satisfaction. 如有试用机会,本人当尽惫而为,以满足贵公司的要求。 练习:

假设你是王海,在1月15号从中国日报上看到一个招聘广告,特给登广告的公司写一封求职信,所求职位为会计,信件主要内容如下:我今年25岁,毕业于山西大学,我在这一行业已有六年的工作经验,在ABC公司任助理会计。我离开现在职位的原因是他们要关闭门店了。随信附上我贴有照片的简历,相信你们会对我的简历满意的。至于薪水,我希望一个月5,000。我向你们保证如果我被聘用,我会皆尽所能让你们满意。 参考答案: Dear Sir,

In respone to your advertisement in China Daily of January 15th, I wish to apply for the position of accountant.

I am twenty-five years old and a graduate of Shanxi University. My experience in this line of work includes six years as an assistant accountant with the ABC Company. The reason for leaving my present employment is that they are closing their office.

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I am enclosing my resume together with my photo, and believe that they may be found satisfactory. As for salary, I shall expect 5,000 a month. I assure you that if appointed, I will do my best to give your satisfaction.

Very truly yours

Wanghai

注意:该习作中学生易出错的句子有:(1)、“我在这一行业已有六年的工作经验”,学生不会按照英文习惯安排其句子结构,对时间的处理不够恰当;(2)、“相信你们会对我的简历满意的”,该句中,学生对“satisfy满意”的用法不恰当;(3)、很多学生将“至于”写为“about”;(4)、“我会皆尽所能让你们满意”,该句中的“皆尽所能”也是学生易出错的一个地方。

学生习作:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your advertisement for an accountant in January 5th China Daily interested me①.

I am 25 years old. I graduated from Shanxi University. I have done accountant for 6 years②. I became assistant accountant in ABC company③. The reason I left the company is that it was closed. Here enclosed is the resume. I believe you will satisfied with it ④. About ⑤ salary, I hope I can get 5,000 yuan per month. I ensure to you that if I am hired, I will satisfy you as possible as I can ⑥.

Yours Sincerely,

Wang Hai

评析:

该习作按题目要求完成了写作任务,信函开头用了求职信的常用语,直截了当地表明了写信的目的;接着介绍了自己的详细信息;最后表达了自己可能胜任那份工作的信心。但从语言层面来讲,句子结构太过单一,第二段连着有四个以“I”开头的句子。此外,其语法和词汇也存在一些问题:

① 此句中“1月15日的中国日报”的译法又受了汉语思维的影响,逐字对译,应用名词所有格形式,改为“in China Daily of January 5th”。 ② 此句要表达的含义是“我在这一行有六年的工作经验,”该习作对其进行了意译法,即“我做会计这一行有六年了”,这样处理是可以的,可是“做会计”的“做”不能译为“do”,而要译为“be”,须改为“I have been an accountant for 6 years.” ③ 该句的“become”用得不恰当,它意为“变为,变成”,而此处并无此意,应改为“was”。 ④ 此句中“satisfy”的用法有误,“(某人)对…感到满意”,应写为“(sb.) be satisfied with”,如果要表达的含义为“(某人或某物)使某人满意”,应写为“(sb. / sth. )satisfy sb.”。此处应改为“…you will be satisfied with it.” ⑤ 此处的“至于”,应译为“As for …”,“about”译为“关于”。 ⑥ 该句中“向你保证”应译为“assure you”,“assure sb.”意为“向某人保证”。“ensure”也有“保证”的意思,可它后面须直接接“that”引导的从句。 修改后的习作: Dear Sir or Madam,

Your advertisement for an accountant in China Daily of January 5th interested me.

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I am 25 years old and graduated from Shanxi University. I have been an accountant for 6 years. I once worked as an assistant accountant in ABC company. The reason I left the company is that it was closed. Here enclosed is the resume. I believe you will be satisfied with it. As for the salary, I hope I can get 5,000 yuan per month. I assure you that if I am hired, I will satisfy you as possible as I can.

Yours Sincerely,

Wang Hai

推荐信/介绍信

推荐信/介绍信是向收信人推荐/介绍某人的信件,包含三个部分: 1. 说明被推荐/介绍人的身份; 2. 提出希望收信人做的事情;

3. 如果是请收信人关照被介绍人,表示感谢;如果是请收信人与被介绍人共同工作,则对合作表示乐观。 范文: Dear Sirs,

We have great pleasure in introducing to you, by this letter, Mr. Joesph Aden, a director of XX firm, who is business friends of ours.

Mr. Aden is visiting Shanghai to establish new business relations, and we should greatly appreciate any assistance you may be able to give him, which will be considered as a personal favor to us.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

介绍信常用语:

1. It is a pleasure to recommend Mark Bryan as a sales supervisor. Mr. Bryan has worked directly under my supervision for the past eight years.

很荣幸推荐马克.布莱恩担任销售主管一职。布莱恩先生在过去的八年里一直在我的部门工作。

2. I am pleased to comment on Ms. Steven’s performance as a secretary. I have known Ms. Steven since our graduation from State University in 1993, when both started work at the Doe Corporation.

很高兴对史蒂文小姐担任秘书一职时的表现进行评价。我1993年从州立大学毕业认识了史蒂文小姐,那时我们都在Doe公司工作。 3. She was always punctual and willing to take on new assignments. 她总是非常准时,并乐于接受新的任务。

4. Her ability to communicate with customers and solve their complaints in a pleasant manner gave us a significant advantage.

她与客户交流的能力以及能很好地解决客户投诉的能力成为我们公司的一个重要优势。

5. In the first six months of her employment with us, her innovations saved the company over $12,000.

在她在我们公司就职的前六个月里,她的创意为我们公司节省了12,000多美元。

6. Her greatest talent is in developing new products.

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With best regards.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

注意:该习作中学生容易出错的句子有:1.“我从高考以后就一直做家教。”学生对该句的时态处理有问题,很多选择用一般现在时,表示从某一时间点开始一直进行的动作应该用现在完成进行时;另外,学生倾向于将“做家教”错译为“do the tutor”。练习前,教师可就这两方面给学生进行指导。 学生习作:

Dear Sir or Madame,

I heard that our university would choose 30 students to teach in high schools in country a month①. I am very interested in this project. I want to be one of the 30 students. I majored in English②. I have been doing the tutor after College Entrance Examination③. I like teaching. I feel that I am advancing with my students whenever I am teaching④.

Here enclosd is my score report. I would be most grateful if you accept my application.

Yours Sincerely,

Li Ming

评析:

总体来讲,本篇习作符合题目要求,也符合申请信的行文结构。信函开头表明写信的目的,接着介绍了自己的情况,最后表示希望对方接受申请的愿望。但是句子结构单一,不够多变。另外也有以下一些语法错误: ① 该句中有两个错误,其一为“in country”,“country”为可数名词,在此处是泛指乡村,其前可或用冠词“the”,或给其变复数。其二在表示一段的时间“a month”前应该有介词“for”。

② 该句时态有误。从文章一开头可知作者是一名在校大学生,还未毕业,这里提到专业指当前的专业,不应用一般过去时,应改为一般现在时。 ③ 此句中有两个错误,其一,“做家教”的译法属中国式英语,应改为“working as a tutor”。其二,介词“after”用法有误,同样也是汉语思维导致的错误。在现在完成进行时中,表示“从…以来/以后,(一直…)”,介词应该用“since”。 ④ 此句时态有误,用一般现在时即可,因为从句意来看,并未表示当时正在进行的动作。另外,“进步”用“make progress”更贴切,“advance”表示“前进,有进展”。

修改后的习作: Dear Sir or Madame,

I heard that our university would choose 30 students to teach in high schools in countries for a month. I am very interested in this project. I want to be one of the 30 students. I major in English. I have been working as a tutor since College Entrance Examination. I like teaching. I feel that I make progress with my students whenever I teach.

Here enclosd is my score report. I would be most grateful if you accept my application.

Yours Sincerely,

Li Ming

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慰问信

对遭遇灾难、失去亲友或生病的朋友寄去的信件即慰问信。慰问信一般分两部分内容:

1.对听说的不幸事件表示难过; 2.希望对方早日走出阴影。

范文: Dear Jerry,

We are greatly shocked / sorry to learn that you are knocked down by a truck while cycling back to the campus last night. How are you felling today? We do hope that you are doing well after the operation on your injured leg.

We are coming to see you on Saturday afternoon. With every good wish for you quick recovery!

Yours sincerely, Members of RM 307

慰问信常用语:

1.I am deeply sorry to hear that your mother has passed away. I wish I could come to you right away to share your sorrow. But I could not do that as I am far away from you. Please accept my heartiest sympathy.

听说令堂逝世,我深感悲痛。我恨不得马上飞到你那儿和你分忧。但千里迢迢,实难如愿。请接受我由衷的吊慰吧。

2. I was shocked to learn of the death of your mother today. I have no words to console you. / I can’t believe it is really true.

今天获悉令堂逝世,使我为之震惊。遭此巨痛,自非言语所能慰藉。/ 我简直不能相信这是真的。

3. I learned from Richard’s letter that you are ill in bed. I hope you will get well soon.

从Richard的信中得知你卧病在床。我希望你能很快康复。

4. I want to send you my best wishes for your quick return to good health. 最衷心地祝愿你早日康复。

5. How are the wounds of your brother? I wish he would get well soon. 令兄的伤势怎么样了?我希望他很快好起来。

6. I was shocked at the news that you were hit in a traffic accident. However carefully you may drive, you cannot stop the other cars that collides with yours. Please take care of yourself and recover soon.

听说你遭车祸,我为之震惊。无论你怎样小心开车,别的车要撞你,也是防不胜防。请小心保重,并祝早日痊愈。

练习:

假设你是刘飞,给魏敏写一封信,内容如下:我从今天的报纸上得知你们小镇发生了地震,我对此感到非常难过。我非常担心你和你的家人以及那里的所有朋友,不知你们现在怎么样?很希望你们安然无恙。政府已经在号召人们为你们捐钱捐物了,我把我这些年攒的钱全捐了,衷心盼望你们尽快重建家园。

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参考答案: Dear Weimin,

I was deeply sorry to learn the earthquake in your town from today’s newspaper, and I am writing to extend my deepest condolences.

I am really worried about you and your family, and all your friends there. How are you now? I really hope that you are all safe and sound. Our government is urging people to donate money and necessary things to your town and I donated all my money that I have been saving for years.

Looking forward to your quick rebuilding of your hometown.

Yours sincerely,

LiuFei

注意:该习作中学生最易出错的句子有:1.“我从今天的报纸上得知你们小镇发生了地震”,此句中包含一个宾语从句,学生对宾语从句的处理容易有误,另外,一些学生对“发生 (happen)”的用法有误,学生倾向于写成“your town happened an earthquake”;2.一些学生对最后一句的“look forward to盼望…”的使用有误,倾向于在“to”后面跟句子。 学生习作: Dear Mary,

I heard the news that your town’s earthquake in today’s newspaper①. I am greatly sorry to learn it. I am worried about you and your family. I don’t know how are you now②. I hope you are safe and sound. Looking forward to you rebuilding your homeland as soon as possible③.

Sincerely yours,

Li Ming

评析:

该篇习作符合慰问信的行文结构,首先先表达了对不幸消息的悲痛之情,之后对收信人进行了安慰和鼓励。但是语法错误偏多,六个句子有三句话有问题: ① 此句中“heard”使用不准确,“从报纸上得知”而不是“听说”,应改为“learnt”;此外,此处用“that”目的在于接一个同位于从句,表示听到的“新闻”的内容,却没有将其后的内容写为一个句子,可改为“I heard the news that your town had an earthquake in today’s newspaper.”或者改为“I heard your town’s earthquake in today’s newspaper.”

② 此句中“know”后面接一个由“how”引导的宾语从句,由疑问词引导的宾语从句要用陈述语序,应改为“I don’t know how you are now.”

③ 此句中“look forward to”后面应接名词短语,即动词应改为动名词,这里将“rebuild”变为“rebuilding”,毫无疑问,但其前的代词应该用形容词性物主代词,来修饰这里的名词短语“rebuilding your homeland”。 修改后的习作: Dear Mary,

I learnt your town’s earthquake in today’s newspaper. I am greatly sorry to learn it. I am worried about you and your family. I don’t know how you are now. I hope you

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are safe and sound. Looking forward to your rebuilding your homeland as soon as possible.

Sincerely yours,

Li Ming

感谢信

感谢信是就某事向收信人表示感谢的信件,分为三个部分: 1.指出对方帮助自己的事情,表示感谢; 2.展开叙述这件事;

3.再次感谢,并可表示希望回报对方。 范文:

Dear Mr. Horn,

Thanks to your assistance, I’m now an assistant to the sales manager of Pacific Trading Co.

Everything you told me about Mr. Kennedy is true. He wanted to know all about me, such as what subjects I liked most at school, what I had done since I left school, etc. Then he read your letter again, and I know I had satisfied him and I could do the job.

I do want to tell you that I’m sincerely grateful for all your help in finding a place for me. The mailman will bring you a package tomorrow. That’s my small appreciation to you.

Yours, Liu Fang

感谢信常用语:

1. Thank you very much for the kindness you have given me during my stay in

Paris. I have really enjoyed my visit there.

十分感谢你在我逗留巴黎期间所给予的照顾。我确实享受了浏览该市的乐趣。

2. Thank you for doing so much to make my trip to America interesting.

谢谢你的多方帮助,使我的美国之行,极为有趣。

3. I am sincerely grateful for all your help in finding me a place.

衷心地感谢你为我谋职。

4. I am sure this job would not have come to me without your help. I shall try very

hard to make good.

如果没有你的帮助我是无法谋到这个职位的。我将尽力为之。

5. It was most thoughtful and generous of you to send me such a beautiful gift.

你给我寄来如此美丽的礼物,真是又细心又慷慨。 练习:

假设你是李明,写信给刘大夫,内容如下:非常感谢他对你三月份住院期间的细心照顾。那天晚上,你因胃疼被室友送进医院,幸运的是,他在值班,他迅速地诊断了你的病情,及时给你做了手术。在接下来的日子里,他更是对你照顾有佳。正是由于他的照顾和精湛的医术,你才能这么快康复。感谢他对你的所有帮助,并希望有机会能回报他。

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参考答案: Dear Doctor Liu,

It is a great pleasure to extend my sincere thanks to you for your careful treatment and attendance when I was in hospital this March. www.qm12.cn

On that night, I got a stomachache and was sent to your hospital by my roommates. Yet I was very lucky to have you on duty. You immediately diagnosed my disease, and arranged a timely operation for me. What was more important was that you looke after me more carefully in the following days.

It was all because of your attendance and perfect professional skills that I could recover so soon. Therefore, thank you again and I wish I would have the chance to pay you back for all your kindness.

Yours faithfully,

Li Ming

注意:该习作中学生易出错的地方有:(1)、“你三月份住院期间”,很多学生对该表达在句中的位臵处理不当,没有把它当时间状语从句来处理。另外,“住院”的英文表达也是学生易出错的地方;(2)、学生将“because”和“because of”混淆。

学生习作: Dear Doctor Liu,

Thanks to your attenance during March when I lived in hospital ①. That evening, my stomach was very pain ② and I was sent to the hospital by my roommate. It was lucky, you were on duty ③. You diagnosed me quickly and helped me with the operation at once ④. The following days ⑤, you looked after me very well. Because your attendance and great medical skill, I was recovered so quickly ⑥.

Thanks for your help again.

Yours, Li Ming

评析:

此篇习作内容完整、结构清晰、主次分明,首先开门见山地对收信人表示了感谢,接着详细说明当时的情形,即从细节上描述收信人对写信人的帮助,最后再次感谢。此外,该习作在语言和句式上也立求变化,只是由于很多语法知识掌握不够扎实,导致了以下错误:

① 该句中有三处错误,首先,学生混淆了“thanks to”和“thanks for”的用法,前都为“由于…”,后者为“因…谢谢你”;其次,学生对“三月份住院期间”的译文有些罗嗦,多少有点中国式汉语的影子,应改为“when I lived in hospital in March”;此外,“live”用得不准确,它指“(家)住…”,此外动词可用“was”。 ② 该句中“胃疼”的翻译有点不符英语习惯,应改为“I had a stomachache.” ③ 此句的错误在于用了不断句,即把两个句子用逗号连接。此句是错用了“it is / was + adj. +that 从句”结构。其中,“it”作形式主语,指代“that”后面的从句。应改为:“It was lucky that you were on duty.” ④ 此句中“helped me with the operation”,意为“帮我(给别人)做手术”,与文中内容“给我做手术”完全不符,应改为“put an operation on me”或者“operated on me”。

⑤ 此处的“The following days”在句中作时间状语,前面应该有介词“in”。

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⑥ 此句有两个错误,其一,混淆了“because”和“because of”的用法,前者接从句,后者接短语,此处接短语,所以应将其改为“Because of”;其二,“recover(恢复)”在此处表主动,无须变被动。

修改后的习作: Dear Doctor Liu,

Thanks for your attenance when I was in hospital in March. That evening, I was sent to the hospital by my roommate because of a stomachache. It was lucky that you were on duty. You diagnosed me quickly and put an operation on me at once. In the following days, you looked after me very carefully. It was because of your attendance and great medical skill, I recovered so quickly ⑥.

Thanks for your help again.

Yours, Li Ming

祝贺信

祝贺信是由于某种原因向收信人道贺的信件,一般包含三个部分: 1. 点明要祝贺的事情,并向对方道贺; 2. 详述祝贺的事情; 3. 再次祝贺。 范文: Dear Ellen,

How delighted I am when I hear that you are going to graduate from Fudan University and get a Master's Degree! Though I cannot go to Shanghai to join in the celebration of your graduation owing to the long distance between the two cities, yet I wish to express my most earnest and ardent congratulations through this letter.

For years you have made unremitting efforts in your specialized field and your diligence and intelligence at last win you honor. I am not only happy for but also proud of you from the bottom of my heart.

I believe as an up and coming person, you will use your head and hands to develop your career to a higher level after the graduation. May you achieve greater success in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

祝贺信常用语:

1. I am so excited about your winning $50 in the contest. Congratulations. 得知你在比赛中得了五十美无奖金,非常高兴。恭喜你。

2. Congratulations on your latest promotion. I know that you will make good in

your new job.

恭喜你最近晋升。我相信你一定能胜任新职。

3. We are highly pleased that your outstanding work is being recognized and we

offer our sincere congratulations.

你杰出的贡献得到承认,使我们十分高兴,谨表示衷心的祝贺。

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4. May you achieve greater success in the future.

祝愿你将来取得更大的成功。 练习:

假设你是李明,给赵先生写一封感谢信,内容如下:我很高兴得知你在公司升职了,恭喜你!你真是太优秀了,只在公司工作了六个月就升职。我们都知道,你非常努力,这一点使你得到周围人的信任,也帮你得到很多机会,我觉得这就是你在这么短的时间内成功的原因。再次恭喜你!并希望你在未来取得更大的成功。 参考答案: Dear Mr. Zhao,

I am extremely glad to hear that you have got a promotion in your company. Congratulations!

It is excellent of you to get a promotion because you have just been in the company for six months. As we all know, you are always a hardworking person, which enables you to win trust from people around you and thus win yourself various opportunities. I think that is why you can make achievements in such a short time.

Congratulations again! May you achieve greater success in the future!

Yours faithfully,

Li Ming

注意:该习作中学生易出错的句子有:1.“只在公司工作了六个月就升职”,学生对该句的结构和时态不能很好地进行处理。2. “你非常努力,这一点使你得到周围人的信任,也帮你得到很多机会”。学生对该句结构处理得或是不够恰当或是过于罗嗦,即将之写为目的状语从句,或是从“这一点”开始另起一句。其实用定语从句会更紧凑简炼一些。3.“我觉得这就是你在这么短的时间内成功的原因”,很多学生对“这就是…的原因”的结构不够清楚。 学生习作: Dear Mr. Zhao,

How glad I was when I heard that you got a promotion in your company. Congratulations to you! How excellent you are! You have been working in there for just 6 months when you get a promotion ①. We know you always make an effort, so that you can get others’ belief and many chances ②. I think it’s the reason of you succeeded in such a short time ③.

Best wishes to you again. Looking forward to your greater success in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Li ming

评析:

此篇习作基本按照题目要求完成了写作任务,无论是结构还是内容都符合祝贺信的要求。信函首先表达了对收信人升职的祝贺,接着从细节上描述收信人的成功之处,最后再次表示恭贺。尽管如此,此信函在句子结构和词汇运用方面还存在不少问题:

① 该句的时态运用存在问题,“升职”是发生在前段时间的事,所以从句中的谓语动词应该用一般过去时“got a promotion”,主句描述的动作是到“升职”为止一直发生的动作,应该用过去完成时“had worked”。此外,“在那儿”无须用介词“in”,将之删去。

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② 此句有两个错误,其一,短语“make an effort”虽有“努力”的意思,但其很少单独使用,经常会用于结构“make an effort to do sth.”,所以应改为“You always work very hard”或者“You are always very hardworking.”其二,此句中用了连接词“so that”,该连词意为“以便于…”,表目的,而此处并无表目的的意思,此处的两个分句间属因果关系,可将“so that”改为“so”,或将后一分句写为前一分句的定语从句,即“which enables you get …”。此外,“信任”一词用“trust”更准确。“belief”更常用来表示“信仰”。

③ 此句中的介词“of”用法有误,学生误将“of”结构的名词所有格结构用于句子当中。此处的“of”应改为“why”,引导定语从句“you succeeded in such a short time”修饰“reason.” 修改后的习作: Dear Mr. Zhao,

How glad I was when I heard that you got a promotion in your company. Congratulations to you! How excellent you are! You had worked there for just 6 months when you got a promotion. We know you always work very hard, which enables you get others’ trust and many chances as well. I think it’s the reason why you succeeded in such a short time.

Best wishes to you again. Looking forward to your greater success in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Li ming

二.通知 通知一般由标题、正文和落款三部分组成。

通知的标题一般用NOTICE或ANNOUNCEMENT。将之居中。

通告的正文就是通告的内容,这是主体部分,包括通知的对象、事由、时间、地点等,语言应简洁明了,条理清晰,要求明确,特别是时间概念很重要,必须写得十分明确,不容丝毫含糊。

落款写出发文机关名称和发文时间,发文机关写在正文结束后的右下角(也可写在NOTICE的正上方)。发文时间一般写在左下角。

范文1:假设你是教育考试服务处,托福考试项目执行主任Russel Webster,由于某种原因,需要取消2002年10月在华举行的托福考试成绩。先要求你写一则通知公告参考学生,并表示歉意,内容主要有:直至2003年10月止,考生可免费参加在此期间的任何一次考试。因为托福考试项目有一条长期有效的政策:当考试被取消时,之后的一次考试不再收取费用。 NOTICE

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Educational Testing Service was forced to cancel the scores of the October 2002 TOEFL administration in the People’s Republic of China. At that time, you were notified that you would be able to take another TOEFL without charge up through the October 2003 administration. You should be aware that the TOEFL program has a long standing policy of not refunding test fees when administrations are cancelled.

We apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause to you.

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Russel Webster Executive Director TOEFL Program

Educational Testing Service

范文2:根据以下信息写一则通知:高二(三)班的全体同学将于2002年11月20日在学校图书馆举办一次活动,活动包括诗朗诵、讲故事、唱歌、舞蹈,现以全班同学的名义邀请全体高中同学参加,届时,将请各班主任作为教师代表出席,请参加的师生每人准备好一个节目。发布通知的日期为2002年11月11日。

NOTICE

We're going to have interesting activities in the school library at 8:00 a.m on November 20th, 2002. By then, some of us will read poems and some will tell stories. You can also hear wonderful singing and watch beautiful dancing there. We hope all the senior students can come and join in the activities. All the headmasters will be invited to our activities as representatives of teachers.

Please get one performance ready because some of you will probably be asked to give

us one.

Class3,Senior2

November 11th,2002

练习:

1. 美国加利福尼亚大学SMITH教授应邀来你校做报告,内容为:如何选择自己喜欢的职业。下面是一份校方拟好的通知单,请你根据通知单上的内容写一份英语通知.通知时间为:2004年6月5日. 通知方为校长办公室 英语讲座内容:如何选择自己喜欢的职业 报告人:美国加利福尼亚大学SMITH教授 时间:6月10日(星期五)晚6:00---8:00 地点:图书馆第一报告厅 要求:准时出席,欢迎提问

Notice

Professor Smith of California University has been invited to give a talk on How to Choose Your Favorite Career in this modern society. The talk will be given in the First Lecture Theatre in the library from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., on Friday, June 10th . All those who are interested are expected to be present on time and questions are welcome.

Principle’s Office

June 5yh, 2004

注意:该习作中学生容易出错的内容为时间和地点的表达,学生往往倾向于按汉语习惯和顺序将之译出,准确的译法为“由小到大”。此外,“准时出席,欢迎提问”也是学生容易出错的地方,学生特别熟悉的一个结构是“welcome to a place(欢迎来到…)”,而对 “欢迎(某人)做某事”不太熟悉。

学生习作:

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Notice

June 5th, 2004①

Mr. Smith is a professor from California University. He accepted our invitation and he will give a speech in our school. The speech is about how to choose the job you like best. The speech will start from 6 p.m to 8 p.m. on Friday, June 10th in the First Speech Hall of the library②.

Please attend on time and welcome to questions③.

Principle’s office

评析:

该习作基本完成了题目要求的写作任务,但正文部分的语言不够简炼,有些罗嗦,句子结构过于简单、缺乏变化。此外,在格式和语法方面还存在以下问题: ① 此处格式错误,发通知的时间应放在左下角,在发通知机关的下一行。 ② 此句中的动词“start”用法有误,其意为“开始”,后面如果跟时间,也是接一个时间点,不可能是一个时间段,应改为“be given”。

③ 此句中“attend”为及物动词,其后须有宾语,虽然汉语中省略了,但英文中须将其译出。改为“Please attend it on time.”“欢迎提问”应译为“welcome (students) to ask questions. / questions are welcomed.” 修改后的习作:

Notice

Mr. Smith is a professor from California University. He was invited to give a speech in our school on How to Choose Your Favorite Job. It will given from 6 p.m to 8 p.m. on Friday, June 10th in the First Speech Hall of the library.

Please attend it on time and questions are welcomed.

Principle’s office

June 5th, 2004 三.启事 启事的格式与通知一致。其标题可根据公告的内容自行拟定,如下是几则启事范文:

范文1:2000年6月真题

Contributions Wanted

English Corner has been greatly welcomed since its appearance. To provide it with more and better English writings, we’d like to ask for contributions from readers from all walks of life. We welcome college students, English learners, foreign students and foreign friends to contribute. The writings can be:

1. A short story;

2. Interesting things happed around you.

Your composition will not be over 500 words. Here is your address and e-mail.

Wang Ping, Beihai Evening Post, No. 10 Xinmin Street, Beihai Zip Code: 230034

E-mail: Monuica@public.ce.cngd.com 范文2:

Removal

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Due to the rapid expansion of our business, we find it necessary to move to more spacious premises. We would, therefore, like to inform our customers that on and after May Day, we will be located at 204, Chang An Road. You are welcome to our new address.

Ever-bright Electronic Company April 12th 范文3:

Found

Someone happened to find a purse, inside which there are banknotes, tickets, and other things. Loser is expected to come to our Lost Property Office to claim it.

The Office of Lost and Found

Sept 12th, 2003 范文4:

Sightseeing Postponed

The sightseeing trip to Hong Kong organized by the Spring and Autumn Travel Agency for the newly married couples will be postponed to October 3 because of the problem of accommodation. If you have any inquires, please contact 67846672.

The Spring and Autumn Travel Agency

September 20th 练习:

1.写一则征稿启示,内容如下:为了丰富大学生的课余活动,学生会最近创办了杂志“我们的校园”。现特向全校同学征稿。稿件内容为大学生的方方面面,稿件形式不限,字数不超过2000字。本期特别开辟一个专栏,刊登帮助新同学熟悉学校生活的文章。稿件截止时间为2005年9月20日。 稿件请寄: “我们的校园”编辑部收

参考词汇:稿件: manuscript; 期: issue 专栏: special column 参考范文:

Contributions wanted

With the purpose of enriching our campus life, the Student Union published a magazine----OUR CAMPUS with emphasis on all aspects of campus life. All the sutdents are welcome to contribute to this magazine, within 2000 words. In this issue, a special column is included to help freshmen adapt to capmus life in the shortest time. You are invited to send in your contribbutions in whatever form and style before September 20th, 2005. Your manuscript can be sent to The Editorial Department of OUR CAPUS.

The Editorial Department of OUR CAMPUS

注意:此篇习作的难点在于:1. “丰富大学生的课余活动”,学生不太熟悉“丰富…”的译法;2. “稿件内容为大学生的方方面面,稿件形式不限,字数不超过2000字。”学生对该句的结构处理往往较为罗嗦,容易写成不断句。 学生习作:

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Contributions wanted

The Students’ Union set up the magazine of Our Campus in order to make the college students’ extra-curricular activities colorful①. Now we’d like to ask for contributions from all students in our school. The manuscripts are about all aspects of college life, forms of the manuscripts are not limited, words not over 2,000 words②. In this issue, we will set up a special column. The writings are about helping new students to familiar with life of college③. The deadline of contributions is September 20th, 2005. The address is Editorial Department of Our Campus.

The Editorial Department of OUR CAMPUS

评析:

该习作基本完成了题目要求的写作任务,格式也没有任何问题。但正文部分的语言不够简炼,结构过于单一,句子之间没有很好地运用连接词,如:“The deadline of contributions is September 20th, 2005. The address is Editorial Department of Our Campus.” 这两个句子均用了“主系表”结构,可改为“The deadline of contributions is September 20th, 2005 and the writings should be sent to Editorial Department of Our Campus”。“In this issue, we will set up a special column. The writings are about helping new students to familiar with life of college.”这两个句子可连接为一个复合句,“In this issue, we will set up a special column, in which writings about helping new students to familiar with life of college will be included”。此外还存在一些语法和词汇错误:

① 该句中的谓语动词“set up”用得不够准确,其意为“成立,建立(机构)”,跟“magazine”搭配不太恰当。应将其改为“published”。此外,“make the college students’ extra-curricular activities colorful”也过于罗嗦,可将其改为“enrich college students’ extra-curricular activities”。

② 该句是一个不断句,不符合英文习惯。可将其用连词连接起来,改为“The manuscripts are about all aspects of college life and the forms are not limited, with no more than 2,000 words.”

③ 该句中用了“help sb. to do sth.”这一结构, “familiar”是形容词,不可直接跟在“to”的后面,其前需加“be”。 修改后的习作:

Contributions wanted

The Students’ Union published the magazine of Our Campus in order to enrich the college students’ extra-curricular activities. Now we’d like to ask for contributions from all students in our school. The manuscripts can be about all aspects of college life and forms are not limited, with no more than 2,000 words. In this issue, we will set up a special column, in which writings about helping new students to familiar with life of college will be included. The deadline of the contributions is September 20th, 2005 and the writings should be sent to Editorial Department of Our Campus.

The Editorial Department of OUR CAMPUS

2.假定你丢失了钢笔,请写一则遗失启事: 我于12月13日晚上在100教室丢失一只钢笔,钢笔颜色为红色,上面有一些小花图案。这只钢笔是父亲给我的

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生日礼物,对我很重要。请拾到者与我联系,不胜感激。电话号码:4144888。落款是:光明中学办公室。写启事时间是:2007年12月15日。 参考范文:

Pen Lost I lost my pen in Classroom 100 on the evening of December 13th . It’s a red pen with some small flower patterns on it. It’s very important for me because it’s a

birthday gift from my father. Whoever has found it, please inform me about it. I’ll be very appreciated. Tel: 4144888

Office of Guangming Middle School

April 8th, 1999

注意:该篇习作中容易出错的句子有:1. “上面有一些小花图案”,有些同学对该句的结构处理倾向于受汉语思维的影响。2. “这只钢笔是父亲给我的生日礼物”,这里涉及到一个定语从句,有的学生不能准确地把握此结构;3. “请拾到者与我联系,不胜感激”。学生看到“请”这一字眼,就会使用祈使句,而在此处用这一结构是完全错误的。 学生习作:

Lost

I losted a pen on the evening of Decemebr 13th in 100 classroom ①. Its color is red. On it has some flower patterns ②. This pen is a birthday gift to me my father give ③. It improtant to me ④. Please the finder contact me ⑤. I will be very thankful. Tel: 4144888.

Office of Guangming Middle School

April 8th, 1999 评析:

此篇习作格式正确、内容完整,基本完成了写作任务。但从语言上来讲,句式缺乏变化,结构地于简单,也存在大量的语法错误:

① 该句中“丢失(lose)”一词的过去式用法有误,正确形式为“lost”。“100教室”译法也有误,正确译法为“Classroom 100”。 ② 此句的译文是个典型的中式英语,完全按汉语顺序逐字翻译,应改为:“There are some flower patterns on it.”

③ 该句中学生对定语从句的使用不够准确,结构混乱,应改为:“This pen is a birthday gift my father gave me.” ④ 此处中缺了谓语动词,“important”前须加动词“is”。 ⑤ 此句错误地使用了祈使句。学生往往一看到“请”,就会用“please”开头来写那个句子。祈使句肯定结构应该是“please + 动词原形”,而不是“please + 主语+动词”。所以应改为:“I hope the finder can contact me.” 修改后的习作:

Lost

I lost a pen on the evening of Decemebr 13th in Classroom 100. Its color is red and there are some flower patterns on it. This pen is a birthday gift my father gave me, so it’s improtant to me. I hope the finder contact me. I will be very thankful. Tel: 4144888.

Office of Guangming Middle School

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April 8th, 1999 四.广告 英文广告应由5个部分组成:标题、正文、口号、商标、插图。其中前三部分为语言文字部分,是广告的主体部分,后两部分为非语言文字部分,是广告的辅助部分。A级考试中最常考的是招聘广告,其只需包括标题和正文两部分即可。

总体来讲,广告语言都比较简明、形象、生动而口语化。目的是为了吸引读者,同时也可以节省篇幅。

招聘广告的标题为“XXX(职位) Wanted”。正文包括的主要信息包括:公司简介;招聘的职位及职责;对招聘人员的学历、经验、能力及素质等方面的要求;联系人及联系方式;薪金待遇等。 招聘广告开头常用语:

XX Company is a …(介绍公司).We are seeking for / looking for …(职位名词). XX公司是一家…我们现招聘… 招聘广告结尾常用语:

Those interested please contact …(人名或部门) at…(电话号码). 有意者请与…联系,电话… 范文:

2002年12月真题

Wanted

Whirlpool Corporation is a famous manufacturer and marketer of electrical home appliance, with its headquarters in Tianjin. It has more than 20 branches over the country. We are seeking for one sales manager now.

Qualifications:

1. Chinese citizen, aged 35~40

2. With college degree in Marketing, Economics or related fields 3. At least 5 years’ experience in sales management 4. Proficient in English speaking and writing 5. Willing to travel or business frequently 6. Good at using a computer

Those interested please contact Mr. John Smith at 2487-6669. 练习:

根据下列信息登一则招聘广告:

Wu Mart是北京一家超市连锁店,拟招聘三名收银员(cashier),应聘者条件:有工作经验;能独立工作;善长电脑;乐于助人;有责任心;一经聘用,公司会对员工进行培训。工资丰厚;有很多升职机会。有意者请与王经理联系,电话:62223588。 Words for reference:

连锁店:chain store 应聘者:applicant 责任心:sense of responsibility 升职: promotion 参考答案:

Cashiers Wanted

Wu Mart is a supermarket chain store in Beijing. We are now seeking for three

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cashiers. Applicants should have the following qualifications:

1. Have working experience

2. Be able to work independently 3. Be good at computer 4. Be ready to help others

5. Have sense of responsibility

Once being employed, applicants will be offered trainings. Moreover, there will be competitive salary and many chances for promotion.

Those interested please contact Manager Wang at 62223588.

注意:该习作中,学生容易出错的句子有:1.“一经聘用,公司会对员工进行培训。”有些学生对状语“一经聘用”的结构把握不太准确;2. “工资丰厚;有很多升职机会。”此句中,“丰厚”和“升职机会”是难点。另外,学生在列举应聘者该具备的素质时易于出现结构不平行的问题。

Cashiers Wanted

Wu Mart is a Beijing supermarket chain store. We are now looking for three cashiers. Applicants qualifications ①:

1. There are working experience 2. Can work alone 3. good at computer 4. willing to help

5. There are sense of responsibility ②

If being employed, the company will offer trainings to the employees ③. The salary is rich ④. There are a lot of promotion chances ⑤.

Those interested please contact Manager Wang at 62223588. 评析:

总得来讲,此习作完成了题目要求的写作任务,格式正确、内容完整、结构清晰。但在语言和句子结构方面出现了不少问题: ① 此处短语表达不太准确,“应聘者具备的素质”应写为“ Qualifications for applicants”。另外,此处用短语不太合适,因为第一段的其它内容均是用句子表达的,为了保持结构上的平衡,将此处改为句子:“Applications are expected to have the following qualifications.”如果用短语,可以另起一段。

② 综观上述5个应聘条件,可以看出五个表达结构不平行,1和5用了句子;3、4是形容词短语,2是动词短语。为了体现广告语言简明扼要这一特点,可将它们全部改为动词短语。此外,第2条中的“alone”用得不够准确,它表示“独自一人”,强调客观状态,而这里需要的是一个能名表达主观能力的词汇,可改为“independently”。第4条中的“help”是及物动词,须在其后跟宾语“others”。 ③ 该句中状语用了分词结构,“being employed”,其逻辑主语为“the employees / applicants”。根据相关语法,状语的逻辑主语须与主句的主语保持一致,而该句中主句的主语为“the company”,因此,该句须改为:“If being employed, the employees will be offered trainings by the company.” ④ 该句中的“rich”跟“salary”的搭配有误,“rich”用来指人很富裕,此处的错误纯属学生将“丰厚”一词复杂化,不善变通,没有掌握一些简单的替换技巧。简单点来说,可改为“good”

⑤ 该句中“promotion chances”属中国式英语,应改为“chances for promotion”。

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