从《绝望的主妇》看中美家庭价值观差异 - 图文

论文题目：从《绝望的主妇》看中美家庭价值观差异 指导教师： 曹阳（讲师）

填表时间：2012年10月9日

一、选题的类别 （√）基础研究 （ ）应用研究 （ ）应用理论研究 二、选题依据及研究意义 选题依据：家庭是社会经济形态的缩影，是社会组成的最基本的单位，因此家庭成员的价值观念直接影响着他们在社会中的言语和行为，也就是说整个社会的价值观在很大程度上取决于家庭价值观，因而家庭价值观是文化价值研究体系的核心。《绝望主妇》是一部反映美国中产阶级家庭生活的典型电视剧，在很大程度上是反映美国家庭生活的真实写照，从中能看出中美家庭观在很多方面的差异，为研究中美家庭价值观差异提供素材。 研究意义：在全球化发展的趋势下，中美两国交流更加频繁。本文通过对中美家庭观差异进行比较分析，在中美两种不同的家庭价值观之间架起一座沟通的桥梁，使人们对另一种家庭价值观的感知由陌生到认知，又由认知到认可，最后慢慢交融贯通，避免在跨文化交际中产生误解，对构建和谐社会有着重大的现实意义。 三、选题的研究现状及主要参考文献 目前，国内外学者对本国的价值观研究已成体系，对家庭价值观的研究也已经很深入，就中美价值观进行的对比研究也不在少数，比如在中美婚姻状况，中美家庭教育等方面的对比研究，但是对中美家庭价值观进行较为全面的对比，并对其原因进行分析研究的为数不多。 国内研究现状：朱永涛先生的《美国价值观——一个中国学者的探讨》（2002）主要以权威学者的论述为依据，通过多种媒体以及在各种社交场合目睹的有关美国个人主义价值观、美国的家庭、婚姻恋爱观及美国人在宗教信仰方面的价值观进行了分析。本书虽以美国价值观为主题，但却是通过与中国传统的家庭价值观对比来研究，对中美两国人的行为、思想等进行了全面的比较。社会学研究学者魏章玲的《中美价值观比较》（1998）一文重点从男女平等观、婚恋观、生育观、家庭伦理观等方面探讨了中美家庭观的异同之处及其社会文化根源。 国外研究现状：当前美国的家庭研究主要有两大趋势：一是健康家庭的研究，二是对中国等处于不同背景下的国家进行家庭价值观对比研究。英裔美国历史学家Lawrence Stone 从历史学的角度对美国家庭价值观做了全面的分析研究。Arlene S. Skolnick, Jerome H. Skolnick的Family in Transition（2010）是关于婚姻家庭的社会学专著，结合历史背景与现状探讨了美国人对待婚姻，孩子的教育以及家庭组织的问题上的转变。 主要参考文献： [1] Datesman, Maryanne Kearny, JoAnn Crandall & Edward N. Kearny. 2005. American Ways: An Introduction to American Culture [M]. 3rd edition. New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc. [2] Samovar Larry A. & Richard. E. Porter. 1995. Communication between Cultures [M]. 3rd edition. Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press. [3] Mou Yan. 2010. On Difference between Chinese and American Family Values in Cross-Cultural Communication [D]. Published dissertation, Taishan Medical College. [4] Skolnick, Arlene S. & Jerome H. Skolnick. 2010. Family in Transition [M]. London: Prentice Hal. [5] 关培兰，石宁，1998，中美家庭伦理观与教育比较[J]，道德与文明，5：33-34。 [6] 胡文仲，2002，超越文化的屏障[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。 [7] 黄全愈，2001，家庭教育在美国[M]。广州：广东出版社。 [8] 梅仁毅，2003，美国研究读本[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。 [9] 王成，2005，美国人的爱情婚姻价值观[J]，世界文化，8：6-7。 [10] 魏章玲，1998，中美家庭价值观比较[A]，诺丁汉特伦特大学人文科学院理论、文化和社会中心出版。 [11] 郑国香，2012，中美家庭价值观的跨文化对比研究[J]，河南工业大学学报（社会科学版），,8(2):46-49。 [12] 朱永涛，2002，美国价值观—一个学者的探讨[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。

四、拟研究的主要内容、创新点、重难点及研究思路 主要内容：本文选取美剧《绝望主妇》的典型事例为素材，对比分析中美两国的家庭价值观在婚姻、教育以及家庭伦理方面的差异及其原因。第一部分是绪论，主要研究家庭价值观的背景，包括研究目的，国内外研究现状，本文框架以及研究意义。第二部分简要介绍《绝望主妇》这部剧并简单叙述了家庭观的定义。第三部分结合《绝望主妇》典型事例，从婚姻、教育、家庭伦理三个方面分析了中美家庭观的差异。第四部分对中美家庭价值观差异形成的原因作出比较分析，包括地理，历史及宗教信仰方面的原因。最后是本文的结论，简述了研究的主要内容，并对中美两国跨文化交际提出建议。 创新点：本文拟从中美家庭观之家庭婚姻观、家庭教育观、家庭伦理观方面进行对比研究，并对此形成的原因进行探讨，内容较为全面。 重点：对中美家庭价值观选取哪几个方面进行差异分析。 难点：国外研究现状的资料掌握欠缺，以及对差异的原因分析。 研究思路：本文通过最直观的并列比较方式比较中美两国家庭价值观在婚姻、教育及家庭伦理方面的差异及其原因，使中美两国人更容易弄懂对方的家庭价值观的核心取向，进而更容易理解对方的行为方式，在两种截然不同的家庭价值观之间架起一座沟通的桥梁，使人们对另一种家庭价值观的感知由陌生到认知、又由认知到认可，最后慢慢交融贯通，在求同存异的基础上产生一种共同的价值取向。 五、研究进程安排 2012年9月3日—2012年9月15日：准备论题 2012年9月16日—2012年9月30日：与导教师交流选题思路，请教指导教师与本论文论题有关的参考书目和资料，最终与指导教师商讨并确定论题。 2012年9月30日—2012年10月10日：进行开题讨论，审定其论题写作的可行性。根据指导教师的意见，修改开题报告书。 2012年10月11日—2013年1月5日：在此阶段需大量查阅与选题相关的资料，并且向指导教师提呈所拟定的写作提纲。 2013年1月10日—2013年3月4日：根据论文大纲，开始撰写论文初稿。于3月4日前完成论文初稿，并送交指导教师审阅。 2013年3月5日—3月17日：根据指导教师意见，修改论文初稿，并于3月17日前将二稿交指导教师审阅。 2013年3月17日：根据前期论文写作的情况，填写中期检查表。 2013年3月18日—3月24日：根据指导教师意见修改论文，于3月24日前将三稿交给指导教师。 2013年3月24日—3月30日：虚心听取指导教师意见，反复修改论文，精益求精，最后确定定稿，于3月30日前将定稿交给指导教师。 2013年3月31日—4月6日：指导教师评审。 2013年4月7日—4月16日：复查教师评审。 2013年4月23日下午2点半：毕业论文答辩。 六、其他说明 由于对国外关于中美家庭价值观差异的研究文献掌握有限，本文对于中美家庭价值观差异的个个方面研究不够完整，对其原因分析不够深入。

七、指导教师意见 指导教师签字： 年 月 日 八、指导教师小组意见 指导教师小组负责人： 年 月 日 九、学院毕业论文领导小组意见 领导小组组长签字： 年 月 日

海 南 师 范 大 学

本 科 生 毕 业 论 文

从《绝望的主妇》看中美家庭价值观差异

The Comparative Study of Differences in

Sino-American Family Values from

Desperate Housewives

A Thesis Submitted

to Faculty of Foreign Language College,

Hainan Normal University

in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

for the Degree of Bachelor of Arts

By Luo Yu

Supervisor：Cao Yang (Lecturer)

March 30, 2013

Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

本科生毕业论文独创性声明

本人声明所呈交的毕业论文是本人在导师指导下进行的研究工作及取得的研究成果，除了文中特别加以标注和致谢的地方外，本论文中没有抄袭他人研究成果和伪造数据等行为。与我一同工作的同志对本研究所做的任何贡献均已在论文中作了明确的说明并表示谢意。

论文作者签名： 日期：

本科生毕业论文使用授权声明

海南师范大学有权保留并向国家有关部门或机构送交毕业论文的复印件和磁盘，允许毕业论文被查阅和借阅。本人授权海南师范大学可以将本毕业论文的全部或部分内容编入有关数据库进行检索，可以采用影印、缩印或其他复印手段保存、汇编毕业论文。

论文作者签名： 日期：

指导教师签名： 日期：

Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

Acknowledgements

For the completion of this thesis, my deepest gratitude goes first and foremost to my supervisor, who has taken her precious time off from her tight schedule, offering me many useful materials, reading my thesis carefully and giving me constant encouragement, valuable suggestions and instructions. Without her consistent and illuminating guidance, this paper could not have reached its present form.

Secondly, I would like to acknowledge my indebtedness to the other teachers, from whose teaching and instructions I obtained lifetime.

Moreover, none of this would have been possible without the help of our school library and its staff. So my deep gratitude also go to it.

Last but not least, my heartfelt thanks go to my beloved family for their loving consideration and great confidence in me through all these years. I also wish to sincerely thank my friends and classmates whose brilliant ideas have proved immensely constructive.

Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

Contents

1. Introduction .............................................................................................. - 1 - 2. Literature review ...................................................................................... - 2 - 3. The definition of family, values and family values ................................ - 3 - 3.1 The definition of family.................................................................... - 3 - 3.2 The definition of values .................................................................... - 4 - 3.3 The definition of family values ........................................................ - 4 - 3.3.1 The dominant value in China: collectivism .......................... - 4 - 3.3.2 The dominant value in American: individualism ................. - 5 - 4. Differences in Sino-American family values based on Desperate

Housewives ................................................................................................ - 5 - 4.1 Differences in marriage values ........................................................ - 6 - 4.1.1 Attitudes toward marriage ..................................................... - 6 - 4.1.2 Attitudes towards divorce ....................................................... - 7 - 4.2 Differences in family education ....................................................... - 8 - 4.2.1 Aims of family education ........................................................ - 8 - 4.2.2 Methods of family education .................................................. - 8 - 4.3 Differences in family morals............................................................ - 9 - 5. Analysis of the reasons for the values differences ............................... - 10 - 5.1 Economic form ................................................................................ - 10 - 5.2 History .............................................................................................. - 11 - 5.3 Belief ................................................................................................ - 12 - 6. Conclusion ............................................................................................... - 13 - Bibliography................................................................................................ - 15 -

Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

The Comparative Study of Differences in Sino-American Family

Values from Desperate Housewives

Author: Luo Yu Supervisor: Cao Yang (Lecturer)

(Foreign Language college, Hainan Normal University, Haikou 571158)

Abstract: Family, the miniature of social economic activity, is the basic unit that constitutes society. Family values are the core ingredients in the research of cultural values, determining the behavior of the members in the family, and the values of family members have direct influence on what they think, what they say and what they do. However, different nationalities have different family values due to different cultural backgrounds. The American TV series Desperate Housewives, one of the typical one that reflects the lives of American middle-class families, is the mirror of American family lives to a large extent. Therefore, this paper chose the comparative study of differences in Chinese and American family values as the theme. By using the method of intuitive side-by-side comparison and combining the typical cases from Desperate Housewives, this paper mainly talks about the differences of Sino-American family values in marriage, family education and family morals and analyzes the reasons for the values differences. As a result, Chinese and American people can acknowledge each other?s core value orientation and understand each other?s way of act, which contribute to bridge over the communication gap between the two different family values and avoid misunderstandings in cross-cultural communication.

Key words: Family values; Family education; Family morals; Reasons

从《绝望的主妇》看中美家庭价值观差异

作者： 指导教师：

摘要： 家庭是社会经济活动的缩影，是社会组成的最基本单位。家庭价值观是文化价值研究体系的核心，对家庭成员的行为起决定性作用，家庭成员的价值观念直接影响到他们在社会中的言语和行为。但是由于不同的文化背景，不同的民族有着不同的家庭价值观。美剧《绝望的主妇》，一部反映美国中产阶级家庭生活的典型电视剧，在很大程度上是美国家庭生活的真实写照，因而本文选择了中国和美国的家庭价值观差异对比为论文主题。本文通过最直观的并列比较方式，结合剧中的典型事例，分析了中美家庭价值观在家庭教育、婚姻以及家庭伦理价值观方面的差异，并对造成差异的原因进行了对比分析。目的在于使中美两国人了解对方家庭价值观的核心取向，理解对方的行为方式，在两种截然不同的家庭价值观之间架起一座沟通的桥梁，避免在跨文化交际中产生失误。

关键词： 家庭观；家庭教育；婚姻；家庭伦理；原因

Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

1. Introduction

As we all know that family values are the core parts in the research of cultural value system, which have great effect on the behavior of the family members. Family, the miniature of social-economic formation, is the basic unit that constitutes society; therefore, the values of family members have direct influence on what they think, what they say and what they do. That is to say, family values determine the values of the whole society in a large degree. Thus we can say the influence caused by family values is more profound, widespread and lasting. The reason why is that, first of all, family values is the starting point where people receive value education. Secondly, the influence of family values will last for a long time once it comes into existence in one?s mind. In the end, family values are closely related to the development of the society. All in all, the research on family values is necessary and important. Chinese culture is a typical representative of the eastern culture, while American culture is a fusion of the western culture. Because of different geographical and historical backgrounds as well as religious beliefs, Chinese and American family values are different. Therefore, this paper chose the comparative study of differences in Chinese and American family values as the theme. The Desperate Housewives is one of the typical TV series reflecting the lives of American middle-class families. To a large extent, it is the mirror of American family lives, demonstrating the American family values in many aspects that are different from Chinese and providing fodder for studying the differences in Sino-American family values.

Under the developing trend of globalization, the contacts between America and China have become increasingly frequent. However, due to some invisible cultural barriers, the cross-cultural communication between the Chinese and American is not smooth. Well-known Chinese scholar Hu Wenzhong pointed out that values are the core parts in cross-cultural communication, and family values are the key factors of cultural values, therefore, without understanding the differences in Sino-American family values, the cross-cultural communication between the Chinese and American people may not go on smoothly. By making some comparative study of differences in Sino-American family values, this paper tries to bridge over the communication gap between the two different family values so as to guide people to realize the existence of another family values other than local, to perceive them, and then to accept them, to understand them, in the end, to be partly intermingled, which indeed contribute to avoid misunderstandings in cross-cultural communication and have great significance in

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

building a harmonious society.

This paper, adopting the way of intuitive side-by-side comparison, mainly talks about the differences of Chinese and American family values in marriage, family education and family morals through combining the typical cases from the American TV series Desperate Housewives, and analyzes the reasons for the values differences. The first part deals with the background of family values, including the purpose of the research, the significance of the research, and the structure of the thesis. The second part introduces the domestic and overseas research actuality about Sino-American family values. The third part presents the definition of family, values and family values briefly. The forth part analyzes the differences in Chinese and American family values from three aspects—marriage, children?s family education and family morals based on Desperate Housewives. The fifth part is a further discussion which was taken to make clear the reasons why family values between China and America are different, and it analyzes from the view of geography, history and belief. The last part is the conclusion part that sketches the main content, the results and findings of the paper. It also summarizes its great significance in cross-cultural communication between China and America as well as its influence in the research field of Sino-American family values. Besides, the limitation of this paper is involved in the last part.

2. Literature review

In recent years, the research on cross-cultural communication has increased greatly and stepped progressively into in-depth development, for the invisible cultural barriers truly existed in Sino-American exchanges, which, to a certain degree, impedes smooth communication. At present, the studies of native values done by domestic and overseas scholars has been systematic, the studies of family values has become further, and also many comparative studies of Sino-US family values have appeared, such as the comparative studies on Chinese and American marital status as well as on family education in China and America; however, only a few conduct a comprehensive comparison of Sino-American family values, and perform an analysis of the reasons for the values differences.

Zhu Yongtao?s American Values—Discussed by a Chinese Scholar (2002), a more comprehensive book touches upon comparative study of family values in China, is mainly based on the discourses of authoritative scholar, analyzes American individualistic values, family values, marriage values and religious beliefs by means of

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

media like television, films, newspapers and magazines along with witnessing in various pubic places. It is worth mentioning that even though this book is themed by American values, it makes whole contrasts in behaviors and thoughts between Chinese and American through comparing with Chinese traditional family values. Sociological researcher Wei Zhangling?s Comparison of Sino-American Family Values (1998) analyzes and compares the differences and similarities of Chinese and American family values from the view of equality between men and women, love and marriage, family ethics and procreation conception, pointing out that we can't use simple trend to generalize the modernization process of family values of different countries in the development trend, instead we can have different analysis of family values in different countries and different historical periods. Taiwanese scholars Dai Junbo and Zhan Hongyi put forward four aspects—ecological system theory, family system theory, social learning theory and values theory—that form family values theory.

Currently, American family studies have two main trends: one is the research of healthy families; the other is the comparative study of family values targeting at the countries like China whose social backgrounds are distinguished from America. Anglo-American historian Lawrence Stone has done a comprehensive analysis and research on American family values from the perspective of history. American Ways: An Introduction to American Culture (2005), by Maryanne Kearny Datesman, JoAnn Crandall and Edward N. Kearny, stresses on the traditional values that have attracted people to the United States for well over 200 years and traces the effects of these values on American life. The main themes include diversity, the family, education, religion, and recreation. Family in Transition (2010), by Arlene S. Skolnick and Jerome H. Skolnick, is a sociology monograph that discusses American shifting attitudes towards marriage, children?s education and family organization in accordance with historical context.

3. The definition of family, values and family values

3.1 The definition of family

Traditionally speaking, family should be defined as a group of people related by blood, marriage or adoption, living together, to form economic ties, to fertilize and to bring up children (Mou: 2010, 3). On the basis of this idea, families continue through children-rearing. “Family is the basic unit of a society; it is very much like a mirror, reflecting the society?s cultural characteristics, moral beliefs, economic and political

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

relations and other social problems.” (Mei: 2003, 340)

3.2 The definition of values

American sociologists Samovar and Porter (1995) thought values are prescriptive, cautioning people what is good and bad, what is right and wrong, what is real and false as well as what is positive and negative, etc. Values, also value orientation, are one person?s relatively fixed overall merit and view to the meanings and importance of the objective things around him. Values exist in people?s mind having major influence on a person?s behavior and attitude and serving as broad guidelines in all situations.

3.3 The definition of family values

Generally speaking, family values, as the core of the value system, not only refer to the family members? norm of conducts but also a standard of measuring the norm of behaviors. Specifically speaking, family values refer to the values that permeate to every family?s daily life, and both parents and children in a family should abide by. “We know that the most basic relationships in a family are marital relationship, kinship, parent-child relationship, and it also includes the affectional and economic relationship generated from those basic relationships. For instance, education, religion, faith and family burden-sharing are all include in family values.” (Mo: 2005, 125) As Chinese and American families are in two different cultural contexts, the relationships among family members and the family values are different. That is, the social core value of China is collectivism, while American is individualism.

3.3.1 The dominant value in China: collectivism

The dominant value in Chinese culture is collectivism which means that public interests are the interests of the individual, public values are the values of the individual and public wills are the wills of the individual. Collectivism?s influence on Chinese family values is that Chinese people attach great importance on family; especially women spend more time and energy in managing family. In China, men are accepted as the master of most family, and usually the final decision is made by men and the housework is done by women. Besides, childbearing is regarded as a very important thing in Chinese family, which is accepted as the extension of life. Children are taught to be obedient and brought up to seek fulfillments with others instead of the individual. All in all, Chinese family is a united family that family members rely on each other,

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

requiring to show loyalty to the family.

3.3.2 The dominant value in American: individualism

The dominant idea in American culture is individualism. “Broadly speaking, individualism refers to the doctrine, spelled out in detail by the seventeenth century English philosopher John Locke, and each individual is unique, special, complete different from all other individuals, and it is the basic unit of nature.” (Samovar, Porter, and Stefani: 1995, 123) Individualism?s influence on American family values embodies in the independence and equality among family members. Husband and wife in America family, getting along with each other equally and keeping their own private space, discuss the family issues and make decision together. Husband-wife relationship is the most important one in American family. Children are treated as friends and taught to be independent and seek self-realization. In a word, individual freedom and equality rank at the most important place in American family, and family members treat each other equally in daily life.

4. Differences in Sino-American family values based on Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives is an American TV series, the story of which happens on Wisteria Lane in the fictional town Fairview, Eagle State. From the perspective of the deceased housewife Mary Alice Young, it depicts the little-known lives of four housewives who live in the rich middle-class community, and their domestic struggles induced by several discovered secrets involving their husbands, friends and neighbors. They are the perfect housewife Bree Van De Kamp, whose appearance is always spick-and-span, the super housewife Lynette Scavo who was a powerful woman at work before she gave birth to four children, the muddleheaded housewife Susan Mayer, a single mother who often makes some troubles, and the beautiful housewife Gabrielle Solis who once was a supermodel that gave up her career for marriage, but later was derailed because of loneliness. Even though the housewives? lives look satisfactory, yet in fact they all try to use the so-called ?happiness? to whitewash their already chaotic lives.

The basic factors in a family are marriage, family education and family morals. As Chinese and American families are in different cultural context, the family values of China and America are different. Along with American emphasis on individualism,

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

American family members attach great importance to individual equality, individual rights, independent development and family relationships on the basis of independence, among which independence and equality between family members are the most prominent. However, China emphasizes on collectivism whose influence on Chinese family values is that Chinese families lay stress on family interdependence, filial piety, obedience and the happiness with many children and grandchildren. It is certain that the differences in cultural context between China and America lead to their differences in family values which then result in the different attitudes and behaviors of Chinese and American toward family-related problems. Therefore, it is significant to analyze the differences in Sino-American family values. This paper is to discuss the differences in Sino-American marital values from two aspects--marriage and divorce.

4.1 Differences in marriage values 4.1.1 Attitudes toward marriage

To talk about American?s attitudes towards marriage, it is necessary to introduce the marriage patterns of American family. Generally speaking, there are three marriage patterns in America: the first is the Jewish Christian family pattern, that is, God created Eve from Adam?s rib and made them become lifelong companions according to Biblical tradition; the second is the family pattern based on romantic love that refers to the marriage built on idealized love which means individual will is emphasized and it can build, change and even destroy marriage and family. As a result, marriage is not permanent under this family pattern since personal happiness is put on the first place. The last is the rational family pattern. If the base of the first family pattern is belief and the second is love, then the third is rationality. Family is established through rational mate selection and independence is kept by the couple. In order to establish a stable family, they will make rational decision in marriage and divorce.

In America, it is commonly accepted that every man for himself and God for us all. That reflects in American attitude toward marriage is that marriage is a completely personal affair that nobody including the parents has the right to interfere. Americans believe that love is the foundation of marriage which has nothing to do with age, social or economic background and so on. In Desperate Housewives, Susan marries Mike because of romantic love even though he was a murder and drug dealer. Her daughter Julie marries a man who is as old as her father. Most Americans even not Christian choose to hold wedding in church, swearing before God--for better, for worse, for richer,

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for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, which demonstrates that people treat marriage a quite serious thing, thinking couples should share weal and woe and seek for permanent marriage. When problems occur in marriage, they are likely to find solutions rationally. Both Bree and Lynette attend marriage counseling with their husband when marital problems show up. In addition, husband and wife are in equal status in American family and decide the family affairs together. They respect each other and keep their own privacy.

In China, it is well-known that marriage is not only the union of two individuals, but also the union of two families. Namely, parents play a crucial role in their children?s marriage, and in most cases, people will not get married until having the permission of their parents. Love is as well the basis of marriage in China, while nowadays some factors like social status and economic condition are regarded as the main standards of choosing spouse. Although husband-wife relationship is being equal, they are not truly equal as men are usually the decision-makers in family. Different from America, many children still live with their parents after getting married, which results in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Many couples try to solve it by living separately from parents.

4.1.2 Attitudes towards divorce

There are some differences in attitudes of Chinese and American couples towards divorce. Christianity recognizes marriage as a godsend that divorce is forbidden. As we know, American family advocates individual freedom and self-reliance, and when significant problems occur, people will not ask relatives and friends for help but the government. Since it is conventionalized that divorce is the thing between two, and nobody will intervene it. Americans divorce for no affection, for encountering betrayal and for falling in love with other person. As a matter of fact, even though the divorce rate is very high in America, remarriage rate is also considerable high. In Desperate Housewives, Karl divorced Susan because he fell in love with his secretary and remarried. Edie marries and divorces four times.

In China, divorce is not uncommon phenomenon, but couples treat it seriously. When one spouse asks for divorce, the other tends to save marriage through requesting their parents, relatives and family for mediation. If having children, Chinese couples possibly will maintain their marriage for the sake of their children even if they are unhappy with each other. In addition, divorce is like a kind of scandal that people make

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comments on it. The one who betrays and abandon his/her spouse will be censured and reviled by the public.

4.2 Differences in family education 4.2.1 Aims of family education

Family education in America tends to be individual-based. That is to say, the aims of family education lie in cultivating children?s competence of adapting to various environments, the ability of living independently as well as competitive awareness. On account of the aims, American parents encourage and inspire their children so as to nurture their self-confidence, guiding them to find out their interests and special talents. Parents never try to design children?s future according to their willingness.

On the contrary, Chinese parents usually lay emphasis on fostering children to be the person better than others, hoping children have a bright future. For this purpose, parents are likely to arrange everything for their children based on their own wills. They arrange children to the interest-oriented classes and the cram school that go against their children?s wish. Besides, parents attach too much importance to intellectual development of their children which leads to children?s poor capability to take care of themselves.

4.2.2 Methods of family education

Due to the distinct educational aims, the educational methods between China and America are different. Both Chinese and American parents have the innate love for their children, but the way they express is different.

American parents consider children as an individual, belonging to themselves and having their own preference and privacy. Parents act as advisers and friends in children?s growth instead of deciders. In their opinion, it is no need to force children to learn and do the things they don?t like, for which will hurt children and restrict their personality. In addition, parents incline to create more practice opportunities for children. For example, most children in Desperate Housewives do things by themselves and help parents make housework. Lynette?s children pack their schoolbags all by themselves, Zachary often mows the lawn, John has a part-time job in Gabrielle?s home, and Danny works as a paperboy. American parents believe that children will not only earn money but also know how difficult to make money by doing so.

As for Chinese parents, children are regarded as their private property for whom

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they are endowed with the rights to make decisions. The way Chinese parents express love lies in meticulous care and infinite responsibility. Distinguished from American parents, parents in China overprotect children from outside interference. They take meticulous care of their children involving the food and clothes, meanwhile, parents will not allow children to do housework in order to make sure children will devote themselves to study.

It is hard to say which kind of family education is better, as far as I?m concerned, children are parents? children but are not completely owned by parents. They become a separate individual after coming out from mother. As children are parents? children, parents have an obligation to educate them for independent competence. Because they are not completely owned by parents, parents should liberate children and make them be an independent person.

4.3 Differences in family morals

Impartiality is the moral code of Americans, in other words, everything conforming to fairness is deemed to be virtuous. Impartiality is more rational compared with the benevolence in Chinese ethics which seems more humanized. From Americans? point of view, justice is the unity of rights and obligations, discarding any one between them are equivalent to injustice. In current political system, rights rank ahead of obligations, and the status of freedom is prior to family, society and even nature. In American family, any effort ought to be rewarded including love. It is an unalterable principle that when others do you a favor, you are bound to pay back accordingly. That rights and obligations exist simultaneously is the principle of impartiality which American families seek for. For example, when Bree asks Betty to play the piano in her husband?s funeral, she offers her home-made dessert in return. Lynette sends Mrs McClusky to hospital when she suffered sudden illness, and Mrs McClusky gives her a lamp for the favor.

Fair and equal competition is stressed by Americans; therefore, blood ties don?t play a significant role in American society as that in Chinese. Individual to Americans is a citizen rather than a family member, as a result, kinship in American society is unable to determine a person?s social status, furthermore, personal history will not be valued, and even if one inherit all from his parents, he deeply understands that one?s family background won?t make a difference in success, but endeavor and past experience are the fundamental cause.

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The moral core in Chinese family is Confucian benevolence which is also the soul of Confucian ethic thought. The love contained in benevolence is to love the others, which allows Chinese people to have the spirit of sacrificing for their family members. Equivalence between rights and obligation is not emphasized in Chinese family morals. Fulfilling one?s obligations is not the premise of pursuing one?s rights, and at the same time, one should ensure others? rights.

One of the typical traits in Chinese society is the united construction of clan and country, namely, the structural similarity among family, clan and country, the basis of which lies on blood ties. Blood relationship maintains the stable relations between family and clan, which is impossible for any law and administrative enforcement to realize. Kinship, as a bond, closely links family with clan, and once eliminated, the sense and sensibility of the Chinese people tend to suffer imbalance. Besides, blood ties to some degree decide individual?s social status, and the education, property and contacts one owns are all come from parents.

5. Analysis of the reasons for the values differences

By the comparative study of differences in Sino-American family values, it is apparent that families in different cultural contexts exist many differences that impede smooth cross-cultural communication. In the following, the paper is to analyze the reasons for the values differences.

5.1 Economic form

In the economic structure of American modern capitalism, dynamic commercial economy excluded natural economy in early time and has been dominating for nearly a hundred years. Commodity economy cuts off the attachment complex between people and land relentlessly, making the relations of production and society lie in the course of restless changing. It not only broke national self-sufficient system but also exploit and expand world market, which extremely impacted on the conservation and limitation of all nationalities. Under the condition of merchandise economy, individuals are relatively independent, that is to say, only when individuals pay attention to improve and extend themselves can they root in fierce competition of commodity economy. Whether in economic field, political field or ideological sphere, American society is open and active. The external world intensively stimulates the social cell—family, and in the meantime, pursuing self-independence depending on competition becomes the

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compelling choice for American family education.

Closed natural economy in Chinese feudal society had been lasted for thousands of years whose sufficient mode of production let generations of Chinese people link their fates to the land, and familial centralized rule was born in response to this production mode. In economy, Chinese people were used to tie to the land, and individuals lost the conditions of independent development. If losing land, families were not able to survive. In this case, Chinese people were obedient to the centralized rule faithfully in politics, maintaining the paternalistic system that both ruled them and they were lived by. Decades of planned economy fails to get the Chinese rid of this dependency, only transforming to rely on organization from depending on family and land. In ideology, the doctrine of the mean has been the common criteria of family and the country.

5.2 History

America is a country of immigrants. The characteristic of American immigrants is that they left their families in homeland. Among the early immigrants, more than half had to bid farewell to their parents and children, thus longing for relatives became their greatest pain. They were eager to be reunited with their family members; however, the distant hope accustomed them to the separation from family. In this new world, new concepts of family values have taken shape while the traditional family affection has got neglected.

American political ideology makes an effect on American family values. Declaration of Independence in American history conveys the aspirations of Americans—“All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that they are among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (Wikipedia)”. Under the guidance of Declaration of Independence, Americans got rid of the British colonial rule, created their own American culture and established American image. They value individual worth with the perception that individual power is unlimited, which later form American individualism. The concrete reflection of individualism in American family values is characterized by equality, freedom, independence and strong awareness of rights. Self-centered value standard and code of conduct is formed, namely, respecting the personal values of family members, bringing individual potential into full play and taking responsibility for their own behaviors.

Thousands of years feudal ideology has a profound influence on the formation of Chinese family values. Patriarchal domination acts as an important role in China

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especially in ancient, and as a result, family blood relationship is put in the first place and kinship the second. Then is the formation of systematized moral value, that is, the ?Three Cardinal Guides and Five Constant Virtues?. What close relate to family values are husband guides wife, father guides son and father-son relationship is weightier than husband-wife relationship. Meanwhile, Chinese family members consider family to be more important than individuals, and they get along well with each other and take responsibility for other members like parents are endowed with the obligation of raising children and in return children have the obligation of supporting their parents.

5.3 Belief

Religion, an old and general cultural phenomenon in human history, is a part and parcel of formation of human consciousness that has great effects on the different cultural forms of different countries and nationalities.

Christianity is the mainstream religion in America, which stresses that making conversations with God through personal belief, and personal belief is the only way to rescue oneself. Under the influence of this religious belief, the family values centered on individual development and characterized by equality, freedom and independence take shape. Husband-wife relationship is placed on the first place in American family, and it is conventional that parents will not require their children to support when they get old.

Confucianism has a deep impact on the formation of Chinese family values. The theory of syncretism between heaven and man is pursued by the Chinese, and “All for one, and one for all” is their life philosophy. The concept of individual is accompanied by other people since ancient times, and personal value is embodied only by relating with others. The benevolence spirit in Confucianism truthfully reflects the value of overall supremacy in Chinese society that focuses on fostering people to possess strong sense of responsibility and obligation, and dedication spirit for family and country. Besides, Confucian filial piety, the first virtue in Chinese society, profoundly affects Chinese family values. The fundamental conception lies in that child is required to honor their parents at all costs, and even after parents are dead, children visit their parents? grave in Tomb-Sweeping Day every year. Obedience is the other meaning of filial piety that children need to defer their parents? wishes and comprehend parents? inner thoughts.

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6. Conclusion

This paper tries to make a comparative study of differences in Sino-American family values in marriage, education and family morals based on the American TV series Desperate Housewives, and analyzes the reasons for the values differences from three aspects—economic form, religion and history.

Under the influence of different culture values, Chinese and American family values have distinct differences. First of all, influenced by individualism, American marriage and divorce are mainly based on personal wills without allowing for being interfered by others including their parents. However, affected by feudal patriarchal domination and collectivism, Chinese marriage and divorce tend to be interfered by parents. When confronted with divorce, one will consider not only his/her own feelings but also its impact on his/her family and children. Secondly, American families focus on cultivating children?s competence of independent survival, adaptation to changeable society and practice as the competition under the merchandise economy gets fiercer. Parents respect their children as an individual and always advice children to do things like friends. On the contrary, Chinese parents like to compare their children with others mainly according to academic record and expect children to be better. Intellectual education is emphasized in Chinese family education, and parents arrange almost everything for children based on their own wills. At last, under the influence of history and religious belief, equality, freedom and independence are stressed in American family values. Family members are of mutual equality and mutual independence, that is, husband and wife, parents and children are equal and independent to each other. Besides, American family seeks for impartiality between rights and obligations that when you gain something, you need pay back accordingly. But thousands of years of Confucian culture creates family members? obligation for Chinese family that family members should mutually support and be interdependent—parents is responsible and children is filial. Blood relationship plays a significant role in Chinese society.

With the deepening of the globalization, the Chinese and American traditional family values have been got huge impact, and confronted with great changes accordingly. It is hard to judge which kind of family value is better. Along with the trends of the international exchange and cultural fusion, Chinese sense of independence and consciousness that respects independence are strengthening, in the meantime, cooperation and intimacy among family members are advocated in the United States. It is impossible to demand a perfect unity between Chinese and American family values,

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but what we are supposed to expect is to cut down the cost of fusion between different family values to the most, and bridge over the communication gap between the two different family values so as to guide people to realize and appreciate the existence of another family values other than local, to perceive them, and then to accept them, to understand them, in the end, to be partly intermingled, which indeed contribute to avoid misunderstandings in cross-cultural communication and have great practical significance in building a harmonious society. Moreover, this paper made a relatively comparative study on differences in Sino-American family values and analyzed reasons, which to some degree can be used for reference to future research. In the meantime, the uncovered factors in this paper can be complemented in later study.

Due to the limitation of professional knowledge, some other aspects about the differences of Sino-American family values remained to be studied, and the analysis of reasons for values differences remained to be deepened. As more scholars join the research of cross-cultural communication, the study of which will undoubtedly have a promising future.

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

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[16] 朱永涛，2002，美国价值观—一个学者的探讨[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。

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Foreign Language College, Hainan Normal University

Bibliography

[1] Datesman, Maryanne Kearny, JoAnn Crandall & Edward N. Kearny. 2005. American Ways:

An Introduction to American Culture [M]. 3rd edition. New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc. [2] Marvin B. Sussman.1998. Handbook of Marriage and the Family [M]. New York: Plenum

Press.

[3] Samovar, Larry A. & Richard. E. Porter. 1995. Communication between Cultures [M]. 2nd

edition. Wadsworth Publishing Company.

[4] Mou Yan. 2010. On Difference between Chinese and American Family Values in

Cross-Cultural Communication [D]. Published dissertation, Taishan Medical College. [5] Peng Xiaoyan. 2012. Comparison of Family Education between China and America [J]. 语文

学刊(外语教育教学)。8：101-102。

[6] Skolnick, Arlene S. & Jerome H. Skolnick. 2010. Family in Transition [M]. London: Prentice

Hal.

[7] Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Declaration_of_Independence [8] 关培兰，石宁，1998，中美家庭伦理观与教育比较[J]，道德与文明，5：33-34。 [9] 胡文仲，2002，超越文化的屏障[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。 [10] 黄全愈，2001，家庭教育在美国[M]。广州：广东出版社。 [11] 梅仁毅，2003，美国研究读本[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。 [12] 茉莉，2005，教孩子学会尊重自己和别人[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版。 [13] 王成，2005，美国人的爱情婚姻价值观[J]，世界文化，8：6-7。

[14] 魏章玲，1998，中美家庭价值观比较[A]，诺丁汉特伦特大学人文科学院理论、文化和社

会中心出版。

[15] 郑国香，2012，中美家庭价值观的跨文化对比研究[J]，河南工业大学学报（社会科学版），

8(2):46-49。

[16] 朱永涛，2002，美国价值观—一个学者的探讨[M]。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。

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